Life as a HOUSE

2010-06-28T23:31:00.005-04:00

Tuesdays with Mamarita

If you can make any sense out of all of these, please feel free to explain it all to me :)

When am in a funk and I need to get out of it, I remember my favorite joke in the whole entire world;
Two young men are on a bus sitting next to a woman who's got her stroller nearby, and one of the young men says to the other "Yo thats a f'ugly baby". To which the other responds "Thats a rude thing to say to a person" and then he smiles at the baby in the stroller turns to the mother and says "Your monkey is precious!!!!" Each time I think of that joke, I laugh so hard I whizz!!! It is my happy place :)

Today was an interesting day, in a turn of events I find myself heading back home after the installation of the training materials was completed thank you Mr IT person, I had burned some plastic on things I may need in the future I'm always prepared, DEAL WITH IT! and I was now at the subway station waiting for hte train, I had come down hastily and just moved to the end of the platform, I noticed that the platform was very crowded I don't remember the last time I left work before sundown...I'm not a workaholic so I thought I'd take the train going north as the platform seemed emptier, yes I'd have to get off and change trains but at least it wouldn't be as crowded or so I thought.
So the train comes into the station, it is relatively empty and I got on dreading the getting off and changing trains at a different platform part of it all, and then we started moving and I was so sad that I was on the wrong train and planned to get off and change once at the next stop, when all of a sudden we pull up to the next stop, and the operator announces our stop and no one ran out of the train in confusion and then I realized...I was on the right train which I got on accidentally just to avoid having to stand...it does pay to be lazy sometimes :)

One final thing before I leave, I think that failure at the early stages of one's life should be embraced, it may be easier said than done but let us face it, if you've faced "the worst thing that could ever happen to you" you go on thinking to youself "the worst is behind me now", you would be accostomed to it, know the feeling and well not accept it but know how to deal with it.
Think about the first time you got into trouble and how frightened you were you couldn't think straight and rather than get yourself out of trouble you probably just got into more trouble. I remember my old days as an "advocate"; the housemaster and I became very well acquainted as I knew him well enough to understand that he had a loud bark and the bite wasn't tough at all. I'd been in trouble, I had been punished and whatever was left now was just....well....cold ashes and so each time I marched boldly to his quarters during night prep and freed all my friends that were under punishment, why? I knew the worst that could happen because it had and everything else was just "not as bad".

Now am not saying you should purposefully loose or fail at whatever you are doing, I'm just saying welcome it early on in your endevours and learn to deal with it. Part of a process management practice at one of these Japanese plants was praising failure. I may be understating this, please do forgive me, and the Japanese have really helped the field of TQM a great deal...just saying So if you made a mistake you'd put up your name on a board with the mistake and if anyone could fix it for you, they'd change the issue to a smiley face and help you with it. In that way, you learn what you're doing wrong and not just go through life thinking you're doing everything right.
When you fall, you stand look behind you to see why you fell and well avoid that mistake in the future, someone once said "We fall down and we get up" When you fall, or loose, or relapse at something remember the "cause" walk on it and continue and in that way you look fear in the face and say you don't scare me. That being said, EAT A FAT JUICY UGLY FROG A DAY, it'll change your life and try to name 5 impossible things before breakfast and make them possible!!!!

2010-06-12T00:35:00.001-04:00

VERY LONG OVERDUE - THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN

I was 17 when I first read about the "virtuous woman," and back then I was in my “forming” phase of life, I was not sure I knew myself and at the time marriage, being a woman, a wife, a mother were not thoughts that crossed my mind. My life was lived on the dream of one day owning a castle in one of the Caribbean island with so much money I wouldn’t know how to spend it, the marriage/womanly part of it was all a gray area.
But then as I grew older and started noticing boys, and going on dates, the virtuous woman started to resonate in my mind, and I would constantly ask myself at a point in my relationships if I could see myself being a woman of virtue to this man or if I didn’t think he was worth that type of woman who I knew I could be but knew it would take a lot of work.

The Virtuous Woman
She is very hard to find
I think every woman has the potential to be a virtuous woman, given the right “tools” and with guidance and lots of supplications. By tools, I mean the right partner, about 90% of people end up with the wrong people, for some it is obvious, but for others they may go along life thinking everything is ok, but when you’re with the right person, everything is NOT OK, everything is fantastic, everyday words will seem like love songs and NOTHING, no condition, situation, weather will shake you or take away that perfect feeling you feel within you when you are with the person you are meant to be with and when this happens, you find yourself, being a virtuous woman.

Who can find her? A man who sees his woman as a jewel, who finds a seemingly worthless “stone” and bestows unto it values that make it the stone feel like it is worth more than diamonds. In Miguel de Cervantes’ Don Quixote, the don saw Aldonza a worthless “whore” and he bestowed unto her virtues far more than she could ever deserve, he named her “Dulcinea” a princess with hair made out of gold and she was nothing when he met her, but as the story progressed she found herself and although she wasn’t a princess with hair made out of gold she was able to help Don Quixote prolong his life and find happiness even if for a moment, in her he found virtue.

ORIGINAL SIN
If you have not seen original sin with Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas this may be lost on you, the wonderfully told tale is about a man who decides to marry a woman he had never met based on letter exchanges, and through the course of the movie, his life is slowly taken away from him because of his “wife” – She was a woman of virtue, she brought him joy and pain, lots of adventure that he otherwise would not be privy to and in the end he was wiser for the experience and we can say to him, she was a good wife, a virtuous woman.
He trusted her enough to drink the poison she has served him because he knew deep within him that the love and virtue bestowal would eventually kick off (which happened) and she saved him from death. "Virtuousness" although it may refer to pure, of all things good and pleasing to God, should also be taken in the context of the receiver of the virtues, or in many cases the bestower of the virtues. A woman may constantly bring a man grief, cause him pain, take all his money and run, attempt to poison him but in his eyes she is the epitome of the virtuous woman.
It is the love, and care and attention and appreciation for the little things and gratefulness for the large things, most importantly the amount of love the receiver of the virtue gives that determines if he has found a virtuous woman, because every woman has the potential to be trusted, to bring prestige and royalty to their men, to care for their home and children and make them popular among their peers and superior but it is the love, the worth that the man shows his woman and the extent to which he bestows values unto her that determines how virtuous she will be.
And it is evident in the whole reading, it does not start with the virtues of the woman, but the way she will be treated when she is found, and what the man does for her, then it goes into why she will be treated so, and the reading ends with what the man must do.
"Give her everything she deserves, feston her life with praises"
There's a proverb To whom much is given, much is expected may we all find partners who will allow us to be virtuous.

AMEN

THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN (Proverbs 31, 10-31)

Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-GOD.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

2010-03-30T01:40:00.003-04:00

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

Since I was a child, I found I hated the word NO! Or being told what can and cannot be done, I did not like hearing that a woman's place was in the kitchen, or that my dreams should be limited because after all I am a woman. My father did not raise me like that, when I wanted to become a lawyer, he thought I would one day become a chief judge, when I wanted to pursue acting, he wanted tickets to the oscar so that when I received my award he would point out to the crowd that is my daughter. And now that I am a banker, he has visions of me being the Chief Information Officer one day, and the same goes for my sister and her aspirations, she's almost PEng, and he's been behind her all the way, because he believes that what a man can do a woman can also do and sometimes better.

A few months ago, a certain gentleman, started updating his facebook status very frequently with the message #lightupnigeria. I wondered what this was so I googled and read up on it and I totally loved the message so for this reason and this reason alone, I broke my vow to never join twitter and did *if you are a follower...did you #lightupnigeria today?*

For me #lightupnigeria is not just about constant electricity (I will get back to that in a moment), it is about the future generations of Nigerians and what they will become, it is about doing something so little so that we won't have to tell our children about the Nigeria we grew up in, but that they will get to experience themselves. I remember a time when light was constant in Nigeria, we did not own a generator for a very long time and even when we did we never had to use it and it broke down a lot due to lack of use, now people have back ups for their back up generators and I know of a whole apartment complex that didn't bother with connecting to the PHCN grid, and who can blame them?

I remember a time in Nigeria, when someone would knock on the door and anybody would open the door to them, or a stranger would ask where your mummy went and you would tell them and nothing would happen to your mummy because the stranger was just a well meaning individual! Nowadays, you can't even trust the man driving you not to point a gun at you in the middle of traffic, all for what N50,000 that won't even buy diesel in a generator for a week!

Constant light is not just a problem for Nigeria alone, it is in my opinion a valid global crisis, let us analyze it properly, lights go out, 25 million people turn on their generators, 90% of whom emit green house gases very dangerous to the environment, and the fumes grow and grow and grow, this is not taking into account the industrial strength generators needed/used to power up plants. And yet young Nigerians keep shouting give us light #lightupnigeria and the rest of the world just turns their heads and continue ticking off their goals towards the kyoto protocol papers signed and I laugh

If the G20 countries with their population of like 4 million to our over 3 billion (I exagerate you see....) reduce all the greenhouse gas that they can and we keep emitting them from our asses like it were natural, doesn't anyone else think it would counteract their good. Look at it from another perspective, you buy a house close to the beach and as you clean it, the wind blows sand around you, it'll ruin all the cleaning work you've done and you could have stopped it if you closed your window!

I constantly dream of a Nigeria where the lights going off would trigger a national emergency and the President would be woken up to give a presidential speech on the cause of the outage, a Nigeria where we can breathe fresh air not tainted by the fumes of candles, kerosene lit lamps, diesel/petrol powered generators, and we can yell our children/nieces/nephews/maids/dogs/mouse/cat/snakes yell when they are being molested because there is no sound of generator to muffle those sounds.

So the next time you're in the midst of intelligent folk and they bring up ways to improve the air quality and reduce pollution, tell them that they can help save the planet if they #lightupnigeria, visit www.lightupnigeria.org and help raise awareness that Nigeria needs to be lit up, they may think you are crazy but when you explain it to them the way I just did, they'll understand and join the movement.

Tell you M.P. too! IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!!!!

2010-02-17T23:28:00.003-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97

It is lent again, that wonderful time of the year where many Christians remember their catholic faith with regards to the Church calendar that calls for fasting. Yes, yes, they skip the whole bit with the ash Wednesday, "dust you are and unto dust you shall remember" or "turn away from sin and be faithful to the gospel" and jump right off to the part where they give up something they tell themselves they are addicted to.
Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against lent, or peoples' beliefs towards lent, in fact am happy people look forward to lent to give up their vices, it is just like every other day, knowing what you're doing makes it seem like you're doing more. You don't stand on a treadmill or fry your carrots or do yoga without breathing properly or write an exam without reading the material for which the exam is based. You just don't give up something because it is lent and go about your old ways, it is a season of reflection, getting back to the core of things now just announcing the fact that you're celibate for the next 40 days (although we're thankful that 30 less people will catch STIs in that time)
I don't believe that it is my job to teach anyone about lent, if you don't know, google it and make sense of it, I will say this though, I love lent and in as much as every Christian I know has jumped at the idea of giving up a vice in place of good old "dry fast" for the duration of the lenten season, it is a time of sober reflections, of attempting to be Christlike, temptations will come like the devil on that holy mountain, offering the world for what seems like a small price but you have to be steadfast in what you believe in.
You don't have to give up anything at lent, you can change something about yourself, do something special, my friend decided to give his transit money for the 40 days of lent to a charity and he walked like 2 hours a day to work and 2 hours back from work for 40 days. He spent his time reflecting on his life and how he could be a better Christian. Obviously when lent ended he went back on the train. Am not saying to castigate yourself over the lenten period, I just want to spread the gospel of knowing what it is that you are doing.
This lent, I will be a better person, as each lenten season passes, I find that I am able to give my vices to God and he has taken them away from me, this year will not be any different. And I urge everyone to pray fervently for graces to stay true to the calling of lent. God help us all!!!

And this is a special message to the person that wanted to know what the "ashlike" substance on peoples' foreheads were today...ash Wednesday..... Margaret Mary Caroline whatever you go by, I KNOW YOU ARE CATHOLIC, I KNOW WE TOOK COMMUNION TOGETHER, ATTENDED CATHECHISM TOGETHER, AND YOU ASK WHAT THE "ASHLIKE SUBSTANCE" IS? REALLY? REALLY?!!!!!
I can't even begin to decide within me if this silliness of yours should be classified silliness, pretence, attention seeking or pure ignorance! It doesn't even look like ash...what is ash? It is ash wedneday, you know this and you ask and you expect an answer that isn't in the line of GROW UP BRANDON!!!! I cringe and hope you've changed religions, hopefully your new religion won't believe in "ashy" substances on the forehead, because I cannot imagine the magnitude of curses that would be rained on your head if you ask what the "red looking" thing on people's foreheads are!!! HISS (You are still one of God's favorite children, although this is one of those moments I would really pull a Peter on you, 4 TIMES!!!!)

2010-02-02T20:03:00.002-05:00

I would like...if I may...take you on a strange journey

When I was younger I called myself an entertainer, I loved to perform; my number 1 cousin and I used to stand in front of the stones – our audience, the metal poles our microphones and we just sang and entertained. It was our past time when everyone else went to lesson and till today, I smile when I recall those moments; I was the kid that got into trouble for over entertaining the class, but managed not to get punished with everyone else, I was in a bunch of school plays and a few folks can mention hearing me sing – that was my old life.
I love music and entertainment, as a matter of fact, when am not working on being a CEO, I think of alternative careers on stage, I know I’d be good at it if I took directions or maybe not, I can’t say.
Every now and then I hear music that lifts me up or puts me down (whatever the mood I’m trying to get to is) and it works, but then sometimes I hear a tune and I run to the bathroom to throw up, it’s like rape to my ears some things I hear and torture to my eyes the things I see. I just heard someone’s rendition of HALLELUJAH originally written by Leonard Cohen (you’ve heard it in Shrek and the girl that won X FACTOR Alexandra Burke sang it for her finale) and this particular version am talking about WAS FLAT! It had no life whatsoever, it wasn’t coming from anywhere it felt like the girl (I refuse to call her a singer/musician)just belched the song for lunch money….
Some songs are meant to be sung with passion; in fact all songs should be sung with some sort of passion, imagine if Pavarotti’s la donne mobile was sang while he was distracted, we would never have heard about the operetta RIGOLETTTO or even know the three tenors, or if Andrea Bocelli sang his songs without carefully and lovingly bringing birth to them with his vocal chords, he would have been just another man on the streets doing street opera (yes "doing") Or if Michael Jackson performed on stage with the thought of home life he was going to? If you can consider those things then you’ll see what I mean.
I believe that singing is part talent, part passion, look at all the lovely musicians you know, they put their whole body into it, they don’t just sing like they are being paid to do it, and then look at the crappy ones (I’d name names…but!)
When Brittany Spears danced on stage that time when she first divorced that guy Fred or what was his name? We all thought she sucked, boo’ed her off the stage, threw tomatoes at are and called her names girls didn’t like (ok maybe just in my head but you get the gist), there was no life in what she was doing and then she found her mojo again and now we all seek Amy *raises brow*
Now am not saying that I’m the world’s best singer/performer but am saying people should put a little bit of life in what they are doing, if you must sing a good song, feel the song, gyrate your hips to it, think of yourself in love with the song and you are slowly letting it take you, just feel it take over you, don’t let go like you are shy feel it, who knows you just might reach an heightened state of satisfaction and if you are preorgasmic….QUIT AND GO HOME!!!

Am off…

Soundtrack: Time Warp - Rocky Horror Picture Show

2010-01-27T00:43:00.003-05:00

TUESDAYS WITH MAMARITA

Ok so I saw one of the worst things that one would consider a music video, it is worst than all those things I had seen in the past and wanted to take out my eyes over, it was bad. I mean there are songs you hear and you excitedly wait for the music video to come out, because there's a certain concept in your head and you're sure it will rock, and then you see the video and you suddenly hate the song.

And, and, and, if I remember correctly, weren't music videos meant to sell a song and not kill it? If you are not into the Nigerian music scene, I apologize in advance! Anyways, so the band of four, Styl Plus, yeah that's what they call themselves, had this lovely song, IMAGINE THAT, everywhere you went back in the day, a party wasn't a party till the song came on....It was just a lovely song, and I said I would never see the music video and that one should not be made, but NO, a year later after their record had sold the equivalent of a million copies (this is just from "pyration"!) they went and made a video for the song. IT WAS AWFUL to say the least. I saw the video and just spat out the really fine wine in my mouth, my food suddenly lost its taste and I broke out with hives, I swear it my body was swollen for days and I itched like a $#%#*#^&@&^@
(I still haven't forgiven styl plus till today, because how can you screw up a video like that, if they went to different clubs and just taped people dancing, it would have sufficed, what they did was just rubbish, and if you think otherwise, my fist has a message for your nose!)

Don't even let me get on 9ice's case with his Gongo Aso and street credibility videos, did we need videos for the songs - maybe, after we stopped playing the songs did we need the videos then...MAYBE NOT. And if you will take your sweet time producing music videos for a song that has managed to sell itself without a supporting act, then you don't just go into a studio, cut and paste everything that looks nice in your head, you develop a concept and stick to it. I mean, MO HITS went to ILASHE one sunday after noon I'm presuming, and they were catching their fun and someone started playing their song MY GRIND and they shot a video guerrilla style and yes you might not have seen the video, but it had some form of structure to it, they were on their grind and they were in a pool and there was someone holding Don Jazzy's stick through out the video. It made a lot of sense

That being said, I just saw the video for FALL IN LOVE by D'banj; where do I start?
I've been a huge follower of the Mo hits' movement, I've gone on unauthorized tours with them, I've been a groupie/waited in line for autograph like everyone else, screamed OMG when they passed, threw their g-strings on stage, I think I even fainted one in concert (righttttttttttttttt............) Anyways, you get the gist I follow the Mo Hits' movement, am a huge fan, at one time I wanted to name my child kokolet but changed my mind (how am I suppose to explain having a child and naming it to my family members?!)

In my eyes D'banj could do no wrong, he sings, I dance, he spits, I swallow, he blinks I open your eyes, and even when I thought he wasn't making sense, I smiled all the same but can someone explain to me the meaning of the music video for FALL IN LOVE.

I just heard that he used the ladies from the face of Africa in the video, sure, but what was the concept, with such an idea GBELO GBEBO would have worked perfectly, or the song ENTERTAINER, the song was not meant to make sense, he said he was an entertainer and he could do anything and we would still be entertained if he used a video that made absolutely no sense, I'd have been all for that, but FALL IN LOVE and the stupid video...COME ON!!!
As I said to my friend, I think he needs to release a press release apologizing for the defamation of character and claim that bad people were trying to make him look bad by putting up the wrong video with him in it and disassociate himself from the video TOTALLY. As a fan, I would accept the apology and even attempt to track down the "scrupulous" persons that would have done such a bad thing. I don't know, I just don't know......SMH!

2009-11-26T01:12:00.003-05:00

On love and other flavorless water :)

Before I go on I would like to offer an electronic round of applause to all those men and women who have loved and lost, been burnt by love, been touched by the hands of everlasting love and for some reason or the other lost grasp of it; you are the reason we skeptics still long for love and pretend to fall in love at the end of every romantic novel society forces down our throats.

That being said, I am writing to my young lady who thought she had her heart broken after playing hard to get for a month, I laugh! Love, you don’t know what heart break is;
Heart break is when you wake up in the morning and feel the urge to kill yourself and just lie in bed for fear of facing reality

Heart break is when you drink water to quench your thirst and it feels like stones going down your throat and the only thing that feels remotely normal is the tears that continually flow down your eyes

It is what you feel that makes you tell your neighbor to go and die just because they uttered the kind words “good morning”

It is when you hear the name of the one you love been uttered and your chest tightens and you struggle to breathe and you can’t stand, you can’t sit, your head feels light, and blood seizes to flow through your body

It is the point in time, the only point in time, you contemplate standing at the balcony of the CN tower, pretending to “fly” because secretly you wish the wind would blow you away and you seize to exist.

Heartbreak is when your heart literarily stops beating, your five senses cross, and you start to hear your smell and see noise and feel the saltiness, taste the softness of cashmere on your skin and nothing makes sense to you.

The world seizes to exist and each day feels like a thousand years because your heart seizes to leave the past.

The young man who once loved but lost, and went through heart break, upon seeing the object of his affection after recovering through his heartbreak, does not walk slowly away from her like in the movies, or yell at the top of his voice the words SHE DEVIL, no, he held his wife tightly and introduces her to you, the one that left him for death. But he has moved on, he is happily married with a beautiful daughter, and well you never got around to that, and upon seeing how good a man he is you want to go back to him?!!! COME ON sista!!!

Just because he cared for you, begged you to stay and share his bed with other men just to be close to you, THEN, does not mean that you have wrapped around your middle finger, BE IT AS IT MAY, he may love you and love you forever, somewhere deep inside, he cares more for his life and his wife and beautiful daughter, he loves them more than life itself because he plunged back in and realized that love was a two way street, not just muffled up emotions, ending in ecstatic cries of pleasure, wet foreheads and candied apples.

He’s gone, so yes he is your friend, and he cares for your well being, but sista, don’t wear that short black dress to his house pretending to be in the area just because his wife is out of town visiting relatives, because you think you can have him back if you want. He’s gone, you are only wasting your time; he’s cried, denied, accepted and refused you in his life, and the thin line between love and hate is what still keeps him cordial, if you cross that line with your selfishness, HE WILL HATE YOU and yell SHE DEVIL and write profanities on your house and call your employer to tell them you are a call girl just to get you fired and no one would blame him.

When all that love turns to hatred, he will make it his life’s mission to see to it that you never find true happiness, lose all that he has just to make sure you never have a smile on your face; YES, he will pay men to stalk you, to stop you on the street and sign autographs of naked girls and tell you that you look ugly in person. And have weird people call you to yell at you and hang up and don’t try to change the number or move countries, if his love turns to hatred he will find you and be angrier that you are actually making him work.

Apologize and walk away, you may hurt him twice

2009-10-29T18:53:00.003-04:00

COULD WE START AGAIN PLEASE!!!

Today started out as one of those days that I didn't want to get out of bed, the alarm went off and my subconscious tuned it out and out and out until it went off but my body remembered that I needed to work today so it went off sleep mode at a little after 8, usually at the sight of the number 8, I'd fly out of bed into a showers but somehow this morning, I just laid there dreading the fact that morning had come.
Somewhere, miles away from me, young men woke up hours before I, said good morning to their wives, readied their children for school, kissed their wife and vowed to see them after earning their daily breads. Some luckily fulfiled that vow and are now heading back home or are already back home with their spouses. Others....well, perhaps others did make it in the door but not to their seats, or maybe even they made it to their seats but by some misfortune, ended up in the hospital, for once I like that option better.
The month of October is lay off month in many companies and to be honest, in all of my working life, I've never seen a "corporate" firing, the only thing I can say about it is that it is PURELY HEARTLESS. Nothing left to say, and I've played it over and over in my head to understand the rationale behind this firing strategy and I keep coming up with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
You work in the door in the morning to meet your boss and his/her boss and their HR consultant rushing to meet you at the door to guide you into a conference room, only to be further humiliated with a stupid speech about structural changes and how you well...currently no longer have a job but have a month to work with somebody to get another job. Who's idea is this? And did they consider other alternatives? (i.e. hand a gun with one bullet or a sharp object to the person, lock them up in a room with a letter or better still do it via text or email from the HR department)
And the managers just walk around on D-Day like they are so confused and they are as shocked as anybody else, its like everything else in life, it is a choice you make, I think the huge cheques on some level cover those days when you have to let go of someone you're so fond of, don't make things worse by pacing around like you think you've done something bad. Rationalize and stand by your decision because let us face it, its the only thing you have!

I am so pissed today, I almost didn't do anything but I thought of all the lovely innocent people who are impacted by my work and decided to do something, but it is not for the establishment I'll tell you that much.

I think it is very hypocritical how people prance on the days they have to live out their evil decisions, I think that you have two choices, and people would be able to rationalize with you if you really believe you are doing the right thing. I mean think about all the times you've slapped your neighbour for stealing your candy, you didn't feel bad afterwards because you felt you had done the right thing. And I don't blame the folks who do the firing, am only saying, the moment you make up your mind to go through with letting someone go, before you do the deed, understand what you've just done, rationalize it, explain it to yourself and accept it. So when the day comes and you have to face it, you do it with the confidence it deserves, there is nothing worse than a jittery manager after getting rid of staff members that just tells me that I cannot trust you.
If you are being told to let go of me, I would at least like to know that you either fought to keep me or felt that it was the right thing you were doing, and if you want to look so good, refuse to do it! And if you have no choice at least let me know ahead of time so that I am prepared, all that distancing from staff members and attending pointless meetings and staying away from the office is just BOGUS!!!!

I'm happy for my job and I love what I do, but I don't think am working for the right people ON THE LARGE SCALE :(

*typed but not edited....*

In other news MATT DUSK's CD just dropped...HATTTNESS

2009-06-10T16:43:00.002-04:00

A LITTLE BIT OF THIS/THAT

When I was younger, I used to be a very angry person, not any more, am a happier person now; although, every now and then I get the urge to be angry because lets face it am only human. This is to no person in particular but if I hurt you by what am about to say....TAKE IT TO GOD IN PRAYER!

Ladies, especially the so called "future fashion designers" please seat closer and read clearly this one is for you. We get that when you choose styles for your ankara fabrics they look nice on you, and every so often your friends copy your designs, (I'm happy for you) but each time they tell you that you are so good at picking designs you should be a fashion designer,
PLEASE....
BIKO....
IGNORE THEM. THEY ARE ONLY BEING FRIENDLY, THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.
I've noticed that every tom, dick and lagbaja and lakasugbe is now a designer o, we've seen it all, jumpsuit ankara, hammer pants ankara, a lined tube dresses with extra space for breast enhancers, patch print skirts, I could go on and on, but like Madonna once said "WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE". A fashion designer, goes over and beyond to suit their outfits to the bodies of their models, they innovate, they think AWAY from the box. Vera Wang designed a dress once, I saw it and at first on the rack I thought EWWW...but being a vera wang, I had to see it on someone and boy o boy....I still have not stopped talking about the dress. I can't describe but only one with a true sense of style and class could have done something like that.
So you have an idea, so you think you can innovate, perfect your art if you think its what you want, don't come up with some haphazard idea that has already been perfected mainstream and claim that because it's a different fabric you automatically are a designer and we must all pay $300 for it....No thank you!!!

And this is for all those people who have suddenly fallen prey to Jim Ballisle and co.'s brand of the hand held communication device the BLACKBERRY. I guess when they started they wanted every household to have one like the song "Every family's got one" and we applaud their effort but not everyone is ready for a blackberry, the way I don't think everyone should have a computer.
The facts are these:

Research In Motion designed the handheld device to work with some form of internetwork, thats why when you don't have internet connection, your phone doesn't function properly
The makers of the "blackberry" are CANADIAN (RIM is head officed in Waterloo, Ontario)
With every smartphone, it is "suggested" that you backup your information every so often, so that if the phone happens to drop on the ground and break (oops) all you need is a USB or bluetooth to get all your information back
The Blackberry is not a toy or a fashion statement, it is a telecommunication device!

Knowing this, if you decide to invest in a blackberry because everyone else is "investing" in one, and you don't have an internet plan on your phone and the battery falls out one day...guess what happens... YOUR INFORMATION IS WIPED OUT FOR GOOD

Lets see here, a smart aleck decides that to fix your phone you must "hard reset" it (RESTORE FACTORY SETTINGS). Well as you might have guessed, all your information like magic DISAPPEARS... oh no, oh no...oh no

Now that we know this, lets ping each other, my BB pin is $%#@$^^@$ (as if)

And to those of you who have lost your information, I do sincerely apologize I hope you shall now use the Blackberry application that was given to you at the time of purchase of your blackberry.

Lastly. I know that the world was made so that all men can be equal and have access to the same things, but somewhere along the line, the makers of luxury products didn't get that memo, and believe you/me, I have forgiven them a long time ago....so why is it that all those previously PRESTIGE items have now become like pure water, M-Benz producing the B class, BMW with the 100 series, Lexus with IS series (its the car that comes in that awful yellow) and the list goes on, I understand that in a time of economic recession it is better to sell whatever you can but really? Next thing we'll know evey household will have a royce rolls and every other near millionaire will park a Maybach in their driveway....It doesn't please me in the least

And tell your brothers and sisters that think they can sing and dance, the next time I hear bad music on tv with Kenny's music backing, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE!!!! There will be blood, thats for sure

(This message was not sent from my BLACKBERRY!)

2009-04-15T02:27:00.004-04:00

MY FELLOW SCRUPOULOUS NIGERIAN CANADIANS

The first time I heard about the NRC and their annual reunion event (in those days, the reunion was an actual reunion that happened in one state in the U.S. of A.) I dreamt of attending one, and then Atlanta started one too, and next thing I knew 4th of July was not longer "reunion weekend". And so I vowed that I would not attend of the reunions and would wait for all the "Nigerian American artists" to come to Toronto.

I started talking to my friends about having a reunion weekend in Toronto, and it was something that sounded like a great idea and then a group of young lads decided to carry this idea forward, and then we had our reunion in 2007. I was excited, I told everyone I knew that was Nigerian that a Nigerian Canadian reunion was happening, I didn't know any of the performers that were slated to dazzle us but I was still pretty hyped about the reunion. And then it happened, we arrived 2 hours late to Friday's event, the venue was almost empty but apparently the whole world was in the VIP area and then the entertainers started after the place got a bit fuller, and the entertainers started. Ikechukwu, Madarocka, Ash Thomas, Banky Wellington. Ok too much story, the punch line is this:

All the Nigerians in Canada that attended this event, just stood there STARRING!!! NO HYPE, NO FUSS, NO MOSS!!! NOTHINGGGG

Thats not all, it happened again, Blak jesus, Rukus and Blacko opened for eLDee and oLaDeLe in March, and what would you know, each time a performer got up to do their things my scrupulous Nigerian Canadians just stood at the back of the room, no hype, no dance no nothing...Even when the eLDee that everyone came out to see came on stage, people yelled, and then went back to their little corners...and didn't even give the other performers a chance....

They have called us stupid, called us illiterate, called us dry and boring yet everyone knows that Canadians have the most fun, so why is it fellow Nigerians in Canada that we cannot show our Canadian side? We are not snobs, we love to have fun and we have gidilounge (Yes it is Canadian, ask your brothers) Well the past is past we must focus on the present. M.I. Abaga, aka Mr Incredible is coming to town...mark your Calendars JUNE 12th and 13th...We all know M.I. (look him up on gidi or check out http://www.reverbnation.com/miabaga).

M.I. rocks, he is a wonderful artist, I've seen him in concert and he was fantastic TWICE and I know many of you are dying to see M.I. we don't think you're easy or silly just because you stand in front of him and sing along, it makes you cool if nothing else. And if you don't know the songs just learn the songs, and like totally sing along...It is all am asking.

I hear no Nigerian artist wants to come to Canada because they hear that the crowd out here is DULL!!! I mean really guys? Must we rent out $500 discohalls with plastic chairs, bad lighting and equipment before y'all realize that you can hype an entertainer, (Naija Independence 07....just saying) We are a sophisticated people and we must learn to enjoy good things like fancy halls and intelligent entertainers (not that I have anything against Tu Baba), and even when we don't know an artist we should give them a chance, like stand up, clap, get on the dance floor, even if it is just to humour them, thats what Canadians are all about, WELCOMING STRANGERS so who are we Nigerian Canadians to carry three heads and claim not to be welcoming.

In the next few weeks, I intend to teach my fellow Canadians about Nigerian music and the proper etiquette when attending a concert. Three words JUMP, SHOUT, BOOGIE!

1) You Jump up from your seat when you hear an entertainer's name mentioned on stage EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW HIM/HER, you don't know how hard it is to entertain, think of giving a presentation in a language you don't know to folks whose mother tongues it is, it is HARD.

2) SHOUT! This includes, singing along with the musician when you know the song, if you don't chances are the chorus is the one that will be repeated over and over again, when you pick it up, SHOUT IT OUT!!!! It gives the entertainer a sense of acceptance, you want to be accepted when you speak a foreign language, encourage them, who knows what you'll be doing next week at work/school

3) BOOGIE! Every tune is danceable, I can dance to Jim Iyke's WHO AM I, anyone can dance to anything. And when you are clapping your hands, shouting it only feels natural to move your body, so like TOTALLY DO IT!!!

So to recap, JUMP, SHOUT and BOOGIE!!! Got the message

M.I. is in town JUNE 12 at Eagle Haus, and June 13 at Naija Banquet hall....

NOTE:

Opening for M.I. is Canada's own BLACKO BLAZE, Mr Ka jum be, and he's got a lovely act 2G, you gast to see their performance is all am saying, there's a lot of "hands on" entertainment if you catch my drift.

*written but not edited*

2009-04-08T10:31:00.004-04:00

Tuesdays with Mamarita

I hate that there is not enough information in the proper channels for Nigerian "celebrities", in the 21st century when the local herbalists have mobile phones and a websites, the least every known name could possibly do is hire a riff raff at an internet cafe, pay them 2000 and ask them to keep their online profile updated. This includes but not limited to;
-> paraphrasing what other people have on their sites
-> Doing research on the celebrity (if they cannot get their profile) through online forums, facebook patterns and wikipedia
-> Updating information available on the said celebrity on web forums
-> Making sure the celebrity is known on naijarules.com

Each time I attempt to find out more about somebody, the information I get sometimes angers me, for example, Adaure Achumba's profile on Silverbird television until VERY RECENTLY was a copy/paste of the profile blurb on her blog, now I am not saying that the information could not have been copied, I'm just saying well....clean it up a bit before posting it. Which brings us to information piracy, I once got in trouble for plagarism because I did not put quotation marks on a quote I paraphrased although I had the source's information in the bibliography. Well what that did was teach me to summarize and paraphrase better, and although this involves work, it takes a "specialist" to pick up on my advanced copy/paste skills (just saying).

Not that am picking on the Silverbird team o, but I found an error on Jide Alabi's profile, he is also a part of the STV team, and it says he was born in 1991! Which makes me question the fact that someone actually checks the site for correctness.... Like do they even have a web master (if they don't am in the market o....and am cheap cheap cheap!)
Did anyone go through the MOBO nominees profiles? Apparently D'Banj is still based in London (their words not mine) and he is still 24 years old...!!!!! I want to be 24 at 28 (Dear Santa, I hope you are listening!) They basically copied his profile from Wikipedia, didn't bother doing anything with it.

FACIAL PRODUCTS!
If you are like me and you have "issues" with your face, you'll find that everyone has a product that works like magic, whether it is acne, or impurities, or discoloration or just well skin irritation, someone just happens to have the "magic cure".
The one thing people forget is that sure the product you use works for you, but do we have the same problems? I don't use anything with sacrylic acid, infact the last time I had a pimple on my face, I took a towel, dipped it in hot water and cooked the sucker off my face, applied some tea tree oil and it was gone. Now the guy that asked me buy tea tree oil I thank.
Now, I've been told that the best advertisement is through word of mouth, and that is sooo true, but true also is the fact that different companies having realized the different needs faces have, have created different products to match those needs, and if your friends tell you to use and exfoliating scrub when pimples are making love to your face then you ought to ask them if they are ok, because scrubbing dead skins off your face does not take away the ripe pimply things on your face, it is almost like fertilizer to them boozooes.
Anyways, people should know their facial products before offering them to people

Accentuation
Now if you have heard me speak, I sound VERY NIGERIAN in my opinion, or maybe I pick my drop my "accent" whenever, but whatever! I cannot stand being in a very obvious Nigerian crowd with folks forging some kind of razz accent. In their heads it might sound different but folks, you are among your people, there's no need to twist your tongue, and speak through your nostrils, you're not Indian, its not attractive...no I take that back, it sorts of attracts my fist to facial structures. Gosh!!! I was out and about a few weeks ago and the accent situation was awful, terrible in fact, left, right and centre folks were just throwing shitty accents around, I was speechless and just decided to drown my frustrations in alcohol.
Why do we feel the need to impress? I don't get it

2009-03-31T23:34:00.000-04:00

Tuesdays with Mamarita

It is that time of the year again, LENT, and this year I gave up something of a sexual nature,I of course will not discuss it, but let it be known that I am doing something this lenten season and I hope that those that gave up chocolates and bad talk are doing well so far.
That being said, SEX!

I was ironing when it came to me that we have completely lost it as a people when it comes to sex, now I am not of the belief that sex is meant just for procreation or that the world should be prudish when it comes to sex, but like everything else I believe that we as a people do not respect sex as much as we could and although the 60s and 70s tried to preach free love, we have stopped smoking marijuana and have stopped hating "the man", I think it is time we gave up the "free love" as well
On television and in movies these days, it seems to be the norm that teenagers (by that I mean kids under 17!) are having sex. Let us reference a movie that pops up in my mind Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist , the kids were still in High school and one of them already had a F.B. and knew that she was pre-orgasmic...REALLY! And two of the characters had sex the first time they met each other, call me prudish, but at 18 in my day, sex meant something more not just plain old fucking and I am sure I am not that OLD! Now let us not even refer to gossip girl , lets stick to the new 90210, in the old one, there was sex, but it wasn't that cheap, the new one on the other hand is PHEWWWW! Nuff said.
I am not saying people should have sex recreatively with as many people as they find fit, in fact, I say if you can, take a sex partner for every day of the year that would be 365 people for one year and then try to see if you remember anyone from January in May......BUT know what exactly it is that you are doing.
Each and every time you have sex, fuck or make love with/to somebody else, you share a bit of yourself with that person, now reverse that as it is a two way street, so as you are giving yourself to someone, you are becoming a teeny weeny bit of that person. Now let us analyze that a bit more, if I give a bit of myself to a stranger who for all I know could be a mass murderer, for all I know I am now a teeny weenzy bit a murderer and then if I keep going down that part sooner or later I'll loose myself and become a body of little pieces of somebodies....... And that is why although I encourage promiscuity, I also think people should understand what exactly it is that they are doing.

I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday that took me back to the discussion I had had with another friend two days before on the subject of homosexuality being synonymous to promiscuity, like SERIOUSLY!!!!! We found that people are of the opinion that being gay meant they are supposed to fuck anything that would take them, not so, homosexuality I believe was built on the foundation of love, on commitment to one person and one person alone. If you have not seen BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN although people argue that Jake Gyllenhall's character was loose, the lovers were "gay for each other" not any other men, and that is what I think homosexuality is about, and I am starting to hate promscious gays, stick to one partner and LOVE IT..... And if you must be promscious do it for a while only, there's nothing fun about taking in 3 random guys in one day....nope

I believe we should talk to our children earlier on about sex and when they have questions we should be quick to answer them the best way possible, I learned about sex from books and the internet, and I don't mean porn, just books that explain everything, the sort you'd find in the library. Oh I also have to credit three wonderful men in my life who have answered every single sex question I've ever posed, it helped me understand sex from different angles and I think I am a better person for that.

2009-03-25T01:57:00.003-04:00

RANDOMNESS

I have heard that if you stay somewhere for too long you start to see what you shouldn't see, that is why I like to arrive late at parties and leave early. Now this same adage applies to everything else, if you eat too much, you'll eventually get to the bottom of the pot (which is the sweetest part of every meal by the way, but then you also have the burn or saltiness) and start get that heavy full feeling...yuck! If you smoke too much your mouth starts feeling funny, you get the gist.
So it is past 1 in the morning, I am tired and wornout but I feel like I must finish ironing these clothes, (somedays I just want to throw out the clothes...just saying) So I am taking a break, flipping channels, and then I found it, Rupaul's Drag race on television, if you stay awake long enough you start to catch things you shouldn't be seeing
Rupaul is a "drag" icon, he makes a very handsome man if you ask me, but then she dresses the drag part well too, you probably would not know she was a he, nah...I lie, the hair's always big, the make up EXTRA and he sounds like a man when she's dressed as a woman. So the drag race Rupaul has is like your other celebrity shows the search for the new "drag" phenomenon, sort of like America's next top model meet runway with men. A drag queen is not just an entertainer....she creates her own frock (costume), tries to look the part and of course, knows how to entertain (lip synching is an art, I can tell you that)
So this episode that I just finished, the remaining four contestants had to "vogue", then they had to create an outfit using real fruits, and then they did something else I missed and during "judgement" (or whatever it is they do when they all gather around and be judged) the challenge was to dress up as a business woman and they all did an excellent job...Then they had to do their frock thing and then they did a team performance which was what caught my attention.
Two of the queens decided to perform Mary Mary's SHACKLES.... I am sorry to be stereotypical, but the song is not a "regular" what happened to Studio 54's if you could read my mind, or Gloria Gaynor, or something more upbeat, I don't know I just felt weird about the whole thing after watching the performance and to top it off, one of the contestants upon completing such a "righteous" song, lifted his dress and shook his ass or was it ass clapping that he did with his thonged ass...

In other news, I just started reading THE ALCHEMIST by Paul Coelho, the man is a gifted writer and the book has spoken to people over the years to follow their dreams to climb every mountain to do what they want and to seek their future. We should never have to apologise for who we are, for being intelligent, to chase things we want, because if we don't do it, the universe doesn't stop and weep for us you know. I guess it is all about choice and selfishness and every now and then we should take time to do what makes us happy. I know what makes me happy I have just never really accepted it, but now I'm embracing what makes me happy.....and I say "watch this space" :)

These days people seem to be discussing relationships and cheating partners and I look at people with cheating partners and a lot goes on in my head, what do you do when your partner is cheating on you and you know it. Sure you think of everything else but what is it that makes people stay knowing that their partner has defiled the basic rules of monogamy? Do you in return re-write the rules to accomodate them, throw caution to the wind leave and start not knowing what you will meet where you are going (the devil you know.......) or do you seek a counsellor's help and pray the rosary daily amongst other prayers hoping that they'll change and the spirit of promiscuity would leave them? I don't know I question these things all the time.
And why do we always ask "why"? Sometimes people don't have a reason for doing these things they just do them in a moment of weakness and utter stupidity, I have never woken up and decided to make someone's life miserable...NO I LIE, I've woken up and thought of ways to frustrate the life out of somebody and just when they are about to give up on life show up with a knife on the balcony of the 40th floor of a building, if you must die you need options but am a new person now.. Anyways, I don't understand cheaters, I obviously never want to be one or be on the other side I just wonder what it feels like sometimes you know and having given up lies and deceit, I will never know.....Oh well. Time to get back to ironing.

And does anyone else look at married couples on their wedding day and try to determine if it is true love or just the idea of being married that has gotten them to that moment? Some folks you can tell are getting married because of the ring and the whole ceremony that follows the ring ceremony, and some just get caught in the moment, and each time I see a couple on their wedding day I can't help but try to place them in a category....HAPPILY MARRIED or HAPPY TO BE MARRIED...

2009-03-09T23:58:00.003-04:00

MY LIFE ON TELLY......

I watch the weirdest things on t.v. these days, and I guess if given the chance I'd watch t.v. all night long, and then the doggone timeshifting makes it difficult to cut off some shows because I tell myself it comes on again in about 2 hrs which is great because it is eating your cake and having it but on the other hand its like...........you know. I'm working on it, the good thing is that am great at multitasking, so I can at least respond to emails while I watch t.v. or iron or attempt to cook.
So there are two fantastic shows I catch on Mondays/wednesdays or sundays, I know what you are thinking and they are too many choices. So the one am watching right now, Secret diary of a call girl, I don't know who else loves the show, but it is an absolutely brilliant idea, a call girl living a normal life while doing her thing on the side and has insights on sex and what goes on when the doors close. I like that although she is a prositute, she is not a street walker, very middle class, hush hush sort of prostitution, and I like that a lot. I personally have nothing against prostitution, I just think that people should understand what it is they are doing, you know.
Anyways, so today's episode of SDCG (yes I can abb.) Belle the call girl had given up prostituting for love but the boyfriend still had his doubts, so he managed to get her pimp to talk her into one last gig, which turned out to be her boyfriend in the hotel room. I am going to watch it again on Wednesday just to make sure I was not imagining things, I kind of thought that it would be him with the way her pimp was pressuring...nah I lie, I didn't have the faintest idea but I sure was surprised.
And that episode made me wonder, if this thing called love is all 1 Corinthians 13 says it is, if it trully is, then wouldn't it persevere, hope and not die when the object of one's love is a prostitute. I mean people love doctoring, and folks love banking and some even spend their lunch breaks polishing their bosses you know what, and we file that under "office work" but the moment money starts exchanging hands for sexual favors it suddenly is bad. I mean sure there are moral issues to consider, but if you fall in love with a prostitute, follow 1 Corinthians 13 and accept her for who she is....
I once heard of a couple, happily married for like 10 years, third/forth year into the marriage, the lady had a stroke and it affected the part of her brain that could discern proper sexual etiquette, so she comes out of the stroke and is a total nymph, she stops people on the road and just like jumps them. And through it all her husband stayed with her, and when he couldn't look the other way anymore, he started being very wary, she wasn't allowed to leave the house, men weren't allowed to visit, that sort of thing, because in her head whenever she had a sexual urge that most people could brush off or plan to fulfil at a more appropriate time, her body automatically looks to satisfy the urge.
I was listening to their story and marvelled at the man's strength, staying with his wife like that, that is what they call love and I think they were able to "mend" the part of the brain for the lady and though it definitely affected the relationship it made them stronger.
Which brings me to my other new favorite HBO series United States of Tara, based on Tara who has multiple personalities that manifest themselves at odd times, one of these personalities happens to be a man and the interesting thing about this is that Tara is happily married with two children, her husband helps her through the changes and holds down the house whenever she is somebody else. That my people if it really exists is what we call LOVE, Corinthians style.

2009-03-02T22:58:00.000-05:00

I TRUSTED EVEN WHEN I SAID ......

When I was in high school, I took a drama course and we had to do this trust exercise, where you would lie on the floor and your team members would lift you up using just four fingers. The moment you let go and trust them you become lighter and they were able to hold your weight, you doubt them and you fell. TRUST!

In acting, trust is very important, directors before they start reading scripts in my experience would have team building exercises based on trust, because acting in front of a live audience, you have to trust your co-stars to have your back. And we never actually seat back to analyze it because it just never occurs to us, but imagine if Agbako forgot his line and the person he was holding a conversation with just stood there and didn't cover up his mistake...... Trust is everywhere, even here as I type.

Trust takes a really long time to build and it is chattered in a second, think of it as forgetting to be the role model to your cousins, seeing the look on a child's face when the mother/father tells him/her that Daddy/Mummy has left them for another woman/man, finding out that your brother is trying to kill you, or that your role model is a fraud. That your friend who you shed blood for actually went behind your back to land your dream job, these things sometimes are not done consciously but they definitely hurt trust.

You can't feel trust, or hold trust or measure it, it is there or it is not, you cannot buy it, or sell it, or lend it out, and it is not necessary taught in schools with your mathematics and what have you. You can not feel trust or know when you will lose it, it is very complicated, yet so simple.

TRUST! I hate trust, I hate it when people say: "I trust you", for me it is like this weight I have to carry, I hate that weight. I like to know that I can live my life without having to apologize for my decisions, or to think twice before taking an action, and that unfortunately is what trust does to you. It takes away a bit of you, or not, if people look up to you and count on you for who you are or who they think you are and you go and do something that is different from the you that they think they know...suddenly there is that disappointed stench of broken trust

I do not love trust, sometimes I wished I didn't have to live in a world where trust exists and well maybe, things would be better, we'd all be a lot happier, a lot less disappointed and well, emotional pain would be .....poooooof!

And on something absolutely random;

I am watching the mother of the octuplets and it seems she has had some work done (abeg no be slander o, before they attempt to sue me for making an observation) I think she has had three procedures done on her face. Her ears seem to have been pushed back, her nose doesn't look natural and that can be heard in her voice as well and her lips don't look very natural. Then again, perhaps God made her like that, and if she has had that much done to just her face, I don't think she's in the poor house like that......(just saying)

2009-02-04T00:48:00.005-05:00

RANT OF THE DAY

What sort of world are we living in today? Its like technology has taken over our lives and everything in it, it is so bad am blogging on my phone as I wait for the train to arrive, could I have been reading a well written book, getting my mind to work, or chatting with my friend? Well sure, but I am fulfilling my urge to blog...I almost hate myself (not really)
I was reading somewhere about "Techno furniture" that is the use of a technological item as a piece of furniture, like an iPod stand being a piece of art, as opposed to say a vase. And those crazy messed up "Abstract" artists who'd break flat screen TVs just for their "art"! But we saw all of this coming and just folded our arms and felt like it would not actually happen, laughed when Family guy made reference to the future (or was it Simpsons?) that IPods were the slave owners and they would beat us to do their bidding. I AM NOT LAUGHING ITS SERIOUS STUFF! (again not really)
We wake up and immediately reach for our phones before prayers or before we check that our loved ones are beside us. In many parts of the world people don't understand what it means to put off their phones, they've never done it before, they probably don't know how to turn off their phones. We spend countless hours on the phone with an agent half way across the universe whose accent is not quite understandable just because our laptop screens won't show yet a church service that takes about two hrs is long and we don't sit to the end! (am working on changing that, it won't take a day)
Our love for "modernization" is sickening, its everywhere and we don't understand what it does to us, for one it is affecting our communication. Folks hold conversations about their phones, have you ever seen couples on dates but rather than talking to each other, they are busy with their phones. Gossip girl was coiled from real life, people are attached to their phones and its functionalities than they care about their own well being, we cross the street while replying to emails on our blackberry, drive and text on the highway, pick up dinner while checking mobile face book. People go hungry everyday just so they can afford to keep their mobile phones!
And don't get me started with Instant Messaging! A while back I used to laugh in "lol" I didn't realize it for a while though and I notice that am better IMing than talking to people, in fact I noticed recently that I might have developed a speech problem due to my inability to talk to people. Ok it is not that bad yet for me but think of all those intelligent kids that have fallen to the hands of technology throwing text parties (a party that is based on texting....), or laptop parties (you show up a club/bar, and just chat with people via your portable PC) I'm sure you've all attended a few of these events, probably even thought they were fun..... if this is you...YOU GAST A PROBLEM!

We need to create face time, reconnect with the real world, touch people, talk to them as ourselves or the internet personas that we have so come to love. I remember back in the day on a certain Nigerian website, i had folks tracking me down on phone just so I would log on to join discussions and we'd up later to catch up on our "posts". Back in those days, people lost track of time just "contributing" to posts on the internet, although many of them made friends from the site, fact remains that many of them lost love, time, money and even sexual favours based on the length of time spent online.
In recent times, I still have folks that refer me to their blogs when they are having bad days or get mad at me for not calling after reading their blogs....(this is based on their assumption that I read their blogs) People are getting dumped via facebook status (John status just went from "In a relationship" to "Single" and Rose is thinking...."Its over to you too"). I saw a creditor once attack the debtor on facebook "xx stop embarrassing yourself and give me my money" I file that under desperation!.Thank you very much!!!

I am not trying to chastise anybody, I just made a self realization that I thought I would share with the world. I have always been a loveable person, I intend to continue to welcome people with my winning smile even with their iPods on, and I challenge everyone to smile at the next headphone wearing wannabe loner you see so that you can at least be a subject on their twitter "smiled at by hottie". And more importantly, talk to people about the real life, don't start a gossip group based on Lagbaja's blog, when you close your PCs live in the real world and when you are having a bad day...old school it, call a friend, and if you must blog about it, repeat the story to your friends, over and over again, don't rely on FB and Blogger to send the message for you.

In light of this, I feel I must share this audio clip with you. Its apparently two actual voice messages left by a man on a lady's phone. So the story is that, the lady and the guy met at a party and she approached him or so, I don't remember the details but somehow she gave him her business card and said to call....and well he did!

This is what happens when you spend too much time with your technological gadgets.

2008-12-03T02:41:00.001-05:00

Have you ever in your life commanded the morning,And caused the dawn to know its place?

I am not sure the right word here is hate but I cannot for the life of me stand desert scarves, I mean I see people tying them around their necks and my first impulse is to scream, but I don't know how, so I just like let loose inside my head. When this trend first started sometime last winter, I thought, uhm....ok, not so bad, then spring came and still the damn scarves, and summer too, and fall, and then back to Winter. Spring came back and I thought;

"phew" its all over thank you Lord, platforms please

And then back to where we started with the damn desert scarves. I don't know why I don't like them or what it is I have against them, but you know, its just like every other trend out there now, like the gladiator boots, the knee high ones, I get that they are trends but they were made to remain on the runaway and on the television screens. Maybe next year I'll carry a baby phyton around my neck as an accessory, it too might become a fashion trend.

(If you are reading this, I DO NOT WANT A BABY PHYTON as a gift, I do agree they make great belts and sandals but not life accessories that one hangs around one's neck....just saying!)

That being said Ted Rogers died this morning, I was shocked to hear that, we were talking about him on the weekend andhow he should cut his loses and ask that Ryerson University be named Ted Rogers University, (it would help the degree IMHO). I remember when I first started at Rye U, it was a Polytechnic University then, the world only really cared about the University of Toronto, and before I carried my "portomanteau" out of Nigeria Buhari had just blasted the U of T degree by claiming he had one, so at the time in Nigeria a U of T degree was as good as a Bachelor Of Commerce in Criminal Frenchology. (I know, it was the best I could do)

Anyways, when I told people back then that I was at Rye U studying IT Management, they went, oh...thats the school with the Rogers school of communication, its great. And soon the School of Business became the Ted Rogers School Of Management, and we were anticipating a follow up "Ted Rogers school of Engineering" and the school would have been as good as his, but you know....God said otherwise. He was a great man, I didn't know him personally, but every Canadian can say they have been touched by Rogers in one way or the other and every time you pass by Princess Margaret Hospital or is it Toronto General, and you see the Ted Rogers Centre for *** please bow your heads and say a little prayer, because many billionaires like Ted spent all their money on expensive wine and private jets and the remainder they put in the pockets of the 32G girl trying to raise money for "insert cause" via the strip club. Rest In Peace TED ROGERS, I aspire to surpass your greatness in the near future, but I will always remember you.

I am sitting in my house freezing my feet off, I know I should turn on the heater, I know I should have turned it on at least 4 hours ago but am still sitting here still freezing my ass off and anyone that knows me well enough knows that I will not turn on the heater, in fact the chances that I'll get an extra blanket far surpass the chance that I will turn on my heater and that is just sad even for me.

When you get a chance, visit http://www.springwise.com/, so many things exist that we are not even remotely aware of, and did anyone ever ask how/why facebook got so big, Friendster, Asian Avenue, BlackPlanet, Myspace, Hi5 all started social networking what made Facebook so different? I think I'll turn on the heater, FALSE!

I flea to bed but join me next time or sometime when I discuss some of Canada's greatest such as Ms Chioma Ikejiani of AMOI Magazine, Lucky Ejim (Lead Character/Director of THE TENANT) and a certain Global Trotter that refuses to answer my calls :D (I do understand that you are busy and hopefully we jam soon)

2008-11-14T20:00:00.002-05:00

THE FOURS

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Trial Scheduler
2. Inventory Counting Clerk
3. Technical Support Specialist
4. Business Analyst

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. Marge Simpson
2. Bugs Bunny's house cleaner
3. Micheal Jackson's nose *its the biggest celebrity*
4. Death announcer *they're the ones that tell loved ones that their people are dead in hospitals*

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Eurotrip
2. Breakfast at Tiffany's
3. Sound of Music
4. Kinky boots

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Ibadan, Oyo State
2. Lagos, Lagos state
3. Cotonou, Benin Republic
4. Toronto, Ontario

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES!!!
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Footballers' Wives *brit invasion...LUV IT*
4. Heroes

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. Togo
2. London, Uk
3. Abuja, Nigeria
4.Germany

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. www.hotmail.com
2. http://www.wikipedia.org/
3. http://www.google.ca/
4. http://www.bidz.com/

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. thai seafood fried rice from Salad King
2. Party Jollof Rice *they're a rare commodity these days but they still hit the spot
3. Pounded Yam and Egusi with fresh fish *the meal gast to be complete*
4. Crepes

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Another human being's flesh
2. Cold Pounded yam or Amala - EWWWWWWWWW
3. Any animal that was not intended for be eaten in the book of life, i.e. cat, maggot
4. fried worms *loved the movie though*

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Coconut pineapple iced tea with an infusion of malibu *I miss london
2. Spicy seafood fried rice - only from SALAD KING
3.Fresh palm Wine
4. Steak with fried eggs and seasoned fries....uhm

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. CDs
2. A bed
3. Clothes
4. Desk monstrosity of some sort

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. More space
2. a t.v.
3. A nice walk in closet
4. Ensuite bathroom

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. My cute doggy slippers
2. Night shirt
3. glasses
4. underwear

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In his arms listening to how computer works and the strategical brouhaha.....HA!
2. In France, touring
3. On set taping.....
4. In Lagos, with my cousins laughing up a storm

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Narnia
2. Earl's Park as Mrs Salvatore Biagi
3. Willy Wonka's chocolate factory
4. In Jupiter

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. Jesus Christ - Is Christainity the only way?
2. Lagbaja - I need to drug him and unmask him and blackmail him into playing at my wedding
3. D'Banj (I have too many questions)
4. Daniel Schutzmann - the new love of my life

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. What to wear to work tomorrow
2. B-School
3. What am I doing with myself come January?
4. *******

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. Ma famille
2. My life
3. My mobile
4. My car

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
1. Lerato
2. Salewa
3. Afolabi
4.Ms. Corbiere

2008-10-18T12:55:00.003-04:00

BLOGGING ABOUT BLOGGING

I loved Futurama before it was cancelled, I think the world of Homer Simpson and believe that Marge should rule the world. Maggie makes me tickle and somedays I want to tell folks to eat my shorts! I hate annoying babies and the thought of world domination makes me sleep better at night. I'm not a dog person but I wonder what folks' dogs would have to say about their masters if they had Brian's gift. I hate whinny teenagers and whinny dumb teenagers with intelligent phrases make me want to jump off my balcony. I hate people mimiking Peter Griffin's laughter, its funny only when Peter does it, I find it hilarious that overweight cartoon characters who could not walk a mile even when they are being drawn there can carry themselves in musical sequences.

Homer J. Simpson is dumb but I love him, deep inside my mind I am starting to be fund of Hank Azaria. I have introduced almost everyone in my life to Family Guy, Bender's song My Broken Friend remains with me, I find Futurama funny and I wish it would come back already, we are all getting tired of the 1 hr specials. I secretly watch King of the Hill, I think Seth McFarlene should have a state named after him and if he were a religion and I didn't know about God, I would be a follower. My name is M. and I'm a CARTOON T.V.ADDICT! (Am glad I got that off my chest)

Off to more important things, so I completed a communications course to help with my "writing" at work, and well it was a lovely course, I now send out communications with more confidence, but then again its like driving, the first time you get in a car, you pee all over the place but 3 years later and you can drive, eat, sleep, play a game at the same time and not even know it. (innocent until proven guilty) After doing something so many times you get used to it and all fears go away. We also had to do a presentation in the end, and I decided that one of the things I was good at was blogging so I talked about blogging and I think I may have won over some "converts" and well, if my grade is any indication, I either rock at public presentations or I can b.s. my way in/out of anything....because I rock!

So like there's this guy in my communications class? he is like totally cute? I mean like totally adorable? We like hang out in class sometimes? I think he's really cool? And he lets me in on stuff that I miss when I skip class, because I mean like lets face it, its a saturday morning class? How am I supposed to like maintain a social life and be in class on Saturday? Like HELLO! So like T gets my stuff for me? And the day of my like presentation, he like let me share his presentation outline, that was like totally cool? T is soooo like totally amazing, like I miss him already? (there's a reason for the question marks.....just saying)

2008-10-01T00:16:00.004-04:00

Tuesdays with Mamarita

I hate incompetence, I know that in the past I have been incompetent myself but I hate it! People are given a job and they do not know what to do and they go and screw up their duties by confusing their clients. If your Dr diagnosed you for a virus when you have a fungus, you'd cry and wail that you got the wrong medication, so why is it ok that a CSR can tell you to go to the room on the left when you should be in the room to the right! Sure health and waste of time are two different things but if I fell and broke my tooth because I got into a fight in the room to the left, it would be a freaking different story.
And its not just about wrong rooms, there are other major things that go wrong when people don't do their jobs right, if you misinform the programmers, lots of people could lose lots of money because the wrong files would be processed and righting that wrong could be disastrous. Incompetence! I hiss....

My dad always said something that makes me smile "God protect us from those that are following us that we are not aware of". So today I'm working home from work when I bumped into our building manager, this guy has been the bane of my existence since the day we moved into our apartment. Every time I call his office for help I get the cold shoulder and boy oh boy sometimes he makes me so angry I want to drive all the way across town to his office, beat half of the crap out of him and then wash his blood off his office floor with my pink hose. (That is left hand talk). But I have never officially introduced myself to the Building Manager so when I saw him and my eyes lite up and I smiled at him and said Hello, he was in shock but he said hi back, I thought to myself, if only the left hand was in control.
I hadn't crossed the street completely when I sighted the former chair of a program I was dying to get into. I begged, cried, appealed, re-applied but I kept getting the same message "we are sorry, at the moment we are not able to accept you into the program"....for three years, eventually I gave up the program, all the great authors didn't get formal training anyways....That being said, I saw him with his "buddie" just yacking away, and his server Melissa said Hi to me, the left hand again wanted to pull him aside and beat him senseless, leaving his almost lifeless body by the curb, sometimes I blame my writer's block on him when really am the lazy one. Oh well! And as before, he doesn't know who I am :) "God protect us from those watching us that we are not aware of".

2008-09-25T17:44:00.002-04:00

Sunday Night Special Part 1

So there's this mid-week spamming session that I have with my friends, it usually starts on wednesday and can go as far as Friday. It all started when I forwarded a message to all of them and I started getting replies, and we updated each other on our week. The following week, I got another "mid week" funny and I passed it along and well, the responses were overwhelming, and somehow a tradition started. The best part of mid week spamming is the anticipation, and I remember once I drafted my email on Monday and waited till wednesday to send it out.
The other thing I like our spamming sessions although now the messages are reducing is the fact that if you don't check your email in three hours, you stand the chance of missing out on an ongoing joke, and as you know my friends and I have acute ADD so we never stay on a topic for too long - (in our world that is 4 emails later). Once I was in a 1 hr meeting, I got back and I had 19 new emails, and there's just 7 of us, although not all members are active participants. I love my friends and I look forward to our "spam-a-lot" sessions. It keeps work interesting and life, well, a whole lot more fun.

A few sessions ago we were talking about Family Guy and our favorite episodes and I had promised that I would blog about my top Family Guy Episodes, I started but never got to finish it, I guess now I am....

10) "Chitty Chitty Death Bang"

Its Stewie's first birthday and he's afraid the man in white will return to put him back in the womb and we are taken back to his journalling days while in Lois' womb, eventually the man in white comes back and Stewie kicks his ass and enjoys his wonderful party.

9) ""E. Peterbus Unum"

For some weird reason, Peter's house is out of Quohog and not a part of the USA so he decided that had his own country and named it Petoria. I love this episode because of the scene in it where Peter does his rendition of "Can't touch this". Now if you ever get a chance to catch this on youtube, when he starts dancing, mute the youtube clip and then if you have track 9 (I believe) of 9ice's album "Gongo Aso" play it, I know....my sister thought of it all by herself :)

8) "Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington"

This is the episode where Peter was made President of the toy factory after a tobacco company bought out the factory. I liked two parts in this episode, I liked the song "that guy" when Peter is told he has to go to Hollywood and of course, and I liked the part where Peter was trying to reason with the politicians after one of them killed a prostitute.

" You might have killed her when you shoved the dollar bills down her throat, or when you hit her with a chair, but you know what didn't kill her, cigarettes". CLASSIC!

7) "One If by Clam, Two If by Sea"

This is the "british invasion" episode where the British take over "the clam"....Before I continue, am sure it would be obvious by now that I'm a HUGE FAN of MUSICALS. I really liked this episode because of the scenes where Stewie teaches Eliza (i think) how to speak properly. "The rain in spain stays mainly on the plain". (my fair lady) I also love the way The British were depicted as extremely boring folks, and the horrible teeth they had. LOL (I love the British, sometimes...)

6) "Patriot Games"

You may remember this episode where Peter becomes a footballer, and Brian borrowed off Stewie but doesn't pay and Stewie beats the crap out of him, shot his knee cap and burnt him, and Brian recovered almost instantly. (I want to be a cartoon!)

My favorite thing about this episode was when Peter broke into song and dance after they won a game "SHIPOOPI" from The Music Man, and he was sold to a team in London who were singing "If you'll marry me" on the field...

5) "Sibling Rivalry"

Stewie's brother Bertram is born after Peter emptied his load into a sperm bank :), Lois gains weight, due to lack of sex. I liked when Peter was making a reference to embarrasing moments when we see him entertaining inmates in a prison cell by singing the "milkshake" song. I thought that was incredibly funny. I loved other bits and pieces but I liked the suspense in the end after the sword fighting session between Betram and Stewie, when Stewie has his sword on Betram, and suddenly the scene changes to him digging a hole which later turned out to be for the planting of a tree.....

The reason why I love this episode, is because of a line that is now famous around me, where Betram asks Stewie what took him so long, to which he replied " What took you so ugly!".

4) "Road to Rupert"

Brian sells Stewie's shrink/doll/bff - Rupert in a yard sale and has to help him get it back, problem is, the guy he sold it to had moved out of Rhode Island so they go after him. As they track him, they find that they need an helicopter to get over the hills, the rental place wants a deposit of 100k or a jaunty tune...If you have seen this particular episode there's no point telling you why I love it so much, but if you haven't, I love it because of THE WORRY SONG that Stewie did with Mr Kelly. I adore singing especially song and dance.

3) Peterotica

What did I like about this episode apart from Quagmire's dances with pun in the adult store, and Peter's brand of erotica, and the torture he endowed by Luis' dad (I mean who puts thorns in a jar of salt with a 5 dollar bill underneath it all...HOTTTT), and Stewie's olympic tryout (getting the glass stuck in his head). What I loved the most about this was the very end after Lois told Peter that her father offered 10 million, but she refused it and she yapped on and on as Peter thought up the perfect crime. *if you didn't see the end please do, and em no be from my mouth una go hear say Baba solda don die*

2) Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air

This episode inspired my "I'll shoot you, but I must warn you, I have terrible aim". So Joe got new legs and he was feeling on top of the world with them, left the gang (Quagmire, Peter and Cleveland) and finally he decided that he was going to leave his wife so they all ganged up to turn him back to a cripple. His wife comes along and tries to shoot him in the spine but missed a million times prompting Joe to collect the gun and just shoot his own spine! CLASSIC!
I think Joe rocks! YEAH

1)Saving Private Brian

I love this episode for many reasons, one, there's a musical sequence, two, Brian and Stewie pretend to be gay to get out of army duties, then they shoot themselves in the foot and were still made to fight and just when they were about to go to war, peace is declared.

2008-09-18T22:55:00.004-04:00

Je vous presente.........

So every wednesday a bunch of us exchange emails during regular work hours, if any member on the thread fails to check their emails they probably come back to about 30 emails, it lights up my weekdays :) This week I added a guest to my weekly thread and after a few emails it occured to me that most us had something in common, JUDE IDADA.

You have probably heard the name thrown around here and there, or know the particular gentleman and if you don't you probably know somebody who knows somebody who knows the gentleman. And if you don't, then, when the %#@%#^# have you been?
I personally sneak in his name in conversations when I'm trying to "enhance" my status and many times it raises my "stock price" with the elites, just the other day I attended a conference and I was mixing with the who's who of the African E-learning world you know, and one thing led to another and we all headed to dinner, and when the conversation started to die, I talked about a restaurant that my good friend "JUDE IDADA" and I decided to go to...and eyes lit up, turned out two people knew who he was and I made major contacts among the African E-learning "crew".

Jude Idada is an author, an inpsirational speaker, an actor, a playwright, a traveller, a director, movie producer, dancer, human resource strategist, global trotter, and he still makes time to chill out, how he does it, I do not know. I remember reading a story from his book when I offered to help format it, and if I had not known from all the times we have hung out, I knew then at that moment that the man is destined for greatness, I say is...because he is on his way there and if you think he is great now, what do you want to say when CNN stops regular programming to announce that Jude Idada just got on a plane to his private island off the coast of so and so.

Today, Jude Idada alongside his Business Partner Lucky Ejim will be premiering THE TENANT. Perhaps I'm biased but I love the story, it is the sort of thing I would have written myself, it was well told, well presented and it just reminds me of the life of a butterfly (don't ask) but if you are in Toronto on the 7th of November, drop by INNIS HALL at the University of Toronto 4:00pm and see this movie, I was at the screening and I loved the movie then even though some fine tuning was needed and I cannot wait to see the end product.

If you are looking for the perfect Christmas gift this year, check out http://www.amazon.co.uk/Box-Chocolates-Collection-Short-Stories/dp/1412010268 and if you have not heard the name Jude Idada, ask a friend, chances are, someone in your clique knows somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody. And if sometime in the future you see a movie trailer and the writing is credited to Tyler Perry and Jude Idada, if you don't watch it, it would be like watching a sitcom during Mr Armstrong's moon landing.

2008-09-10T21:38:00.000-04:00

I HATE THE EARLY MORNING COMMUTE!

I hate stupid drivers, no I loathe them, they're the bane of my existence, every single day, there's a new driver in toronto, who chooses to drive in front of me, not sure what/where "it"should be moving it's car to and rather than move off the damn road till it knows, it just seats there and does nothing and the damn light is in our bloody favour. Sheesh, the other day, I chased the dude in front of me with my horn, common sense, light is green its a busy street, you move. Not sure where you're going?, you park and call a friend, check the street name, get off the road and take a damn cab. (Happy place, happy place)

When catching the train heading downtown between 8:30 and 9:10am in Toronto, it is quite interesting to note that, for your money that is enough to buy a decent breakfast combo at Tim Hurtons, the luxury is not in getting a seat, No thats extreme Royalty - a private jet with gold sinks, luxury is being able to hold on to something while the train driver or whatever the overpaid TTC worker that conducts the train accelerates and brakes like he was driving a 2 seater tata car. Sheesh, and what about intimacy on the morning train! I get that we are all squashed into the train like sardines but must people face each other, turn away or something you know. So there I was squashed to the glass by the door, and some dude managed to squeeze in the train, he decided he would support himself with the glass I was leaning on (thats not a crime), the crime was when he decided to face me, it reminded me of those dances back in the day, (before the invention of grinding) when guys would dance a girl to the wall, place one hand on the wall, blocking the girl from leaving (yeah right!!!) while they toasted her.

Back then it was fun, you either knew the guy and was playing hard to get or just felt cool that someone was toasting you, now if you're stuck in the train with a guy who is oblivous of the fact that toothpaste and toothbrushes exist, coupled with his nasty black coffee and cigarette drinking habit with his coat giving off an offensive odour the mixture of sweat, mist and cigarette fumes with a whiff of stale basement, then that is not pleasure. That, my friends should be a torture method, (thank God he didn't have garlic onions and coke early in the morning, phew!).

And the annoying thing in that sort of situation that I was in is that I couldn't go anyway, I couldn't get off the train, I'd waited to get in one for almost 30 minutes, pushed my way like a proper lagosian to secure the perfect spot, and well in a courteous Country like mines its utterly rude to tell someone or insinuate that someone stinks! The moment the guy got off at Wellesley station, I knew there was a God and he was watching over me :)

I whine because I can, I need a private jet so that I can work in Saudi Arabia but go home at night to my private island somewhere close to the maldives....uhmmm. Wouldn't that be precious. I need a drink.

2008-08-26T00:26:00.004-04:00

GOD MAKE US INSTRUMENTS

The first day I met this young man was at one of those events and the first thing I thought was "he speaks too much grammar" and he was extremely jumpy, we were in a youth forum type thing and the boy would stand, move, sit, move in the seat like there was hot stone there, change position, interrupt, and I thought woah....seriously! But he had really intelligent things to say.
And later that night, when he came to grab me from outside, I just got a drink from the bar when he came to take me to my table, seeing as he was late, I asked him to carry my drink, and he did and as soon as we got to my table, he said, cheers, and drank my screwdriver. I was in shock, like WOAH!!! YOU OWE ME A DRINK BUDDIE. And just like that, I thought he was a joker and I warmed to him.
And then this young silly young man whose cousins were dressed in jeans at a black-tie event with whom he was just gisting, talking about aunty this, uncle that, went up to the podium and he spoke. There were ministers, CEOs of businesses all over Africa, Canada, US and other parts of the world, important Government officials that would scare the average youth and he spoke and got the attention of the whole room. I was proud of him, he spoke, and when he was done, I found myself on my feet clapping, no one had ever moved me to my feet clapping before. And I thought wow, what an intelligent young man, when he came down we hugged and I told him how proud of him I was.....He left that evening, but I had to send him on email, he was a good friend to have, and funny this young man kept in touch.

I didn't understand the P that was on this young man.

Temidayo Isreal Abdullai is gifted, he is blessed, he is fantastic and I am suprised that he doesn't have his own 1 hr show on CTS, he needs it, he talks and I get goose bumps,I constantly thank God for his life and everytime I see him on youtube or hear of him, I say a little prayer. God has not started working on him yet, no...When God starts with this man, he will be THE WORD, the world will come to listen to him, Joel Osteen will quote him, the world will know him over, because this young man is annointed. God bless him beyond his own understanding.

http://www.dayoisrael.com/

2008-08-22T23:59:00.003-04:00

I REMEMBER THE TIME

I grew up in Ìbàdàn, sometimes people look at me and go “No, you grew up in Lagos”. I moved to Lagos when I was 9/10, it don’t mean I grew up there, especially if we factor in time spent in boarding school, in which case perhaps we could say I grew up in South Africa (Thank you KTV!)
I love Ìbàdàn, it was very peaceful, everyone knew everyone and all the kids went to Sunbeam preparatory for after school lessons, for elementary education it was either staff school, Maryhill, All Saints or Sacred heart (no one counts those schools at ojo where they carry theirs desks to school in the mornings) and then to nearby villages for their secondary education (Òdoogbolú, offa, Iyana-offa, Iwo etc) The ones that stayed back went to ISI, and you must have heard the saying, “you don’t date an ISI boy!” they were seen as the worst of the worst, I mean sure they had a certain “swagger” to them but if your parents sent you to ISI, be sure your mother will drop you off in the morning, watch you walk into the compound, come over during recess to make sure you are not “mixing” and then come back right before school is over to pick you up, so that you don’t get the chance to be spoilt.
All the Ìbàdàn folks I knew, had an out-of-town parent and when you see a new àshà (habit) the exclamation was “àwon ará èkó tùn ti dé” (the lagosians have arrived), and this statement was used mostly on the weekends. Yemi Chemist, Foodco, Leventis (near coca cola) and FAVOS, were the regular “supermarkets” in the Bodija area (this includes Aare, bashorun…) If you lived in Ìbàdàn and didn’t know cocoa house (I loved their meat pie) or ever passed through it, people would think you are crazy. You have to know old Ife Road to give directions, if you wanted to direct people in Bodija, you needed to know how to do it from SS Peter and Paul. You needed to know the ins and outs of Trans Amusement Park, the major food market was in Old Bodija, one of the best suya sellers was across the street from the market which was on the same road to the Bodija Community Bank, and the best place for suya was in Sabo. The officers’ mess (close by Ikolaba Grammar School, Maryhill Convent School) was where the best fresh fish sellers would be found on Fridays, TinTin was the only place that sold shawarma, d’Rovans Hotel was one of the best/only hotels, Dugbe housed the cloth sellers, Salvation Army was where my grandparents lived (rest their souls), all the major track meets and “match pasts” happened at Adamasingba. (Whatever happened to that Indian Theatre), people got their hair done at Mokola – Mary Love line. That was the Ìbàdàn that I knew.

What made me think of Ìbàdàn this morning? Well, I have some contraption in my teeth as I type and it is soooo uncomfortable, I think my orthodontist is trying to punish me for all my late appointments, I find it difficult to chew and as I sat there on the train, I just had this sudden urge for good food and I swear I smelt Iya Ope’s ofada rice stew. IYA OPE when I knew her was a little mama put place in Mokola, and the way my meal was ordered was N10 rice, N5 beans, N2 Dodo and assorted meat. They packaged this in banana leaves and boy the flavour was just off the chains, and to this day my only motivation to go to Ìbàdàn is the promise of Iya Ope’s rice. Now she has blown up, they have a branch near St Annes (the school with the green skirt and cream sleeveless shirt?) in Sabo. And I think I saw another one in Bodija. I hope their food still tastes as good.
After I smelt Iya Ope and I remembered my childhood, the word INASTRATE came to mind! Forgive my spelling but I don’t know how INASTRATE is supposed to be spelt. But when D’Banj says “ogbono feli feli” he properly was linking himself to INSTRATES brand of Àmàlà (Yam Flour). Àmàlà is different from Àmàlà, some Àmàlà are so kokofied and black you put them in your mouth and you find yourself yelling out loud “what in gay hell?” before you proceed to stone the cook with the concrete waste of yam flour.
Then there is that Àmàlà that is done so soft you touch it and it is almost liquidy and you look at the cook with disdain. And some people make Àmàlà ok, it’s not soft it’s not hard it’s not hot its not cold it’s just basic àmàlà, and they serve it èfò rírò (mixed vegetables), not the good kind (as in elémí méje like the osogbo people do it) they make the crappy efo with barely enough iru, no dried fish, crayfish, cuts of ìgbín (snail) or shrimps and then serve okueko fish stew…yuck!
Àmàlà done INASTRATE style is different, I swear they wash body parts into that shege because boy it is addictive; you want to keep going back for more. I remember the first time I had food from there, the amala was different you know, they brought it home. The àmàlà was in one container, then the èwédú and assorted meat stew was in another container, you could tell just by looking at it that someone’s grandma took her time with the broom in the making of the green stew and the assorted meat soup was divine. The way you know good àmàlà is when you “first of all” take it in your hand and it feels hot to the touch, so much that you have to quickly withdraw your fingers, lick them and try again and then the second time around with determination you hold on to the bite size bit, feel the burn on your finger tips because you are determined to have that piece of àmàlà in your hand inside your mouth, and then you gently use the àmàlà to mix the stew and then you put it in your mouth and without thinking about it, you swallow without wahala (trouble). That is good àmàlà, and if you have a friend that chews àmàlà, SLAP THEM! If you have a friend that makes àmàlà for chewing, ask them if they think their àmàlà is worthy of “Ogbono feli feli bi amala to jina….” It’s like eating bad kulikuli, it makes you hate the good one.
That was INASTRATE, the second time around; we got iláfún and my goodness! They spread it out on the plate so it’s kind of flatish but the inside allows for soup, they pour in gbègìrì and èwédú and then assorted meat stew, that was the way my mum taught me to eat àmàlà (she says the stew must be cool, to balance out the hot láfún) and she makes the best àmàlà ever but even she agrees that àmàlà and láfún a la INASTRATE is the greatest. Ok maybe I exaggerate a little because my grandma when she was alive and in full swing first introduced me to láfún she was ègbá and in case you didn’t know they invented láfún and boy did they do it well.

I had a wonderful childhood and if I don’t talk about the best àsun (roasted goat meat) they might not allow me back in the house. There was this man that my Aunt Wunmi knew, close to the hotel near trans amusement park, now this guy’s àsun was HOT!, the thing about àsun at least in my day was the near rawness of the roast goat, and if I remember correctly the meat is not seasoned, but served with a side of fresh pepper and you could choose how “hot” the pepper should be. I remember my uncle’s wedding with Sir Shina Peters (was this pre-ace?), but we rocked that night and I especially remember eating so much àsun that I slept off till it was time to go home, you know back in those days, the fashion was flashy satin, the ladies wore thick shiny square goggles (isn’t that back?) and the dancing was HOT!!! And parties went on till daybreak not because people were afraid of touts attacking them on the way home but because the performer is not ready to stop. Those were the days…..

Ìbàdàn! Does anyone still live there and if they do, do they know if the restaurant that makes “dodo special” is still around. My dad took us there when we were kids, and I cannot explain it to you but its like dodo omelettes, and you have to try it yourself to know what makes this dodo special, the only thing I can say is that it is good and you can’t just have a bite, No, you have to eat the whole plate and even attempt to lick the plate after, it’s ok we have all done it before, licked our plates after eating with our hands, and found that the plate was still not the cleanest and then lifted it to our faces and allowed our tongues to take control.

Ìbàdàn mesiogo, n'ile Oluyole.
Ìbàdàn omo agesin k'ólé.
Ìbàdàn omo a j'oro sun.
Ibi olè n'gbé n'jàre olóhun.
Omo afikaraun igbin fo'ori mu.
Ìbàdàn màjá màjá n'ijó kìní,
ojò gbogbo ìlú l'ogun
(On loan from http://wazobiacrazy.blogspot.com)

2008-08-18T02:20:00.004-04:00

HOME VIDEO!

When I was younger I used to want to be an actress, I thought I had the talent, (don't get me wrong, I do fantastic impressions I just don't take well to people telling me what to do). And acting is SOOO difficult, I remember my drama classes from high school, they were brutal, I did Shakespeare and I thought woah! My teacher extracted all sorts of emotions from me, and eventually I killed the scene but it was crazy, and all that staying in character when your real self is dying to come out just KILLS me. I am not an actress. O tan.

That being said, I love to watch great performances, and I could spend months discussing amazing scenes in movies but I'll spare you that, some actors/actresses act so well, you can't imagine them as anything else. Whereas some people do the same things over and over again and soon they become their characters or they play themselves and you just know something is wrong.

And as we live and learn and travel we find "faults" with our home "system" and we say we can do better and we actually do, which is where the problem begins. I saw one Toronto production once, it was a Ghanian movie shot by Torontonians. I believe that if you want to change something it should be for the better, not for the worse and I have seen better productions come out of Ghana that this "Canadian Masterpiece" It was totally awful, it was terribly done, the finishing was unnecessary, the actors were untrained and should never leave their day jobs. Just because you can pretend to be Nadia Buari for five seconds doesn't mean you can pretend to be Andrea Landon the supermodel who has twitching issues with her left eye. Or maybe its the writers or directors that are not clear enough with the actors, because sometimes I just don't get it, people don't put enough into the acting.

Am watching a movie right now, its supposed to be an American/Nigerian marriage, the movie started a while ago, first the names of the Characters SUCK! When did Chief Awolowo start having a thick Igbo accent and using words like "Chineke na p'ogi" I mean seriously, where do we draw the line? And a village girl is having very good "fake American" accent. *Its that really annoying accent some people have when they say things like "gat" and thin out their voices and speak with their noses.

These little things say a lot about the movie. I was watching another movie earlier and I had to stop that one because I was having a headache just thinking about all the things that were wrong with that movie. The acting sucked, "it sucked big ****" (I heard that yesterday and I likes it) the lady was supposed to be arriving from Nigeria and for the longest time looking at her face she told you the whole story, you know, her eyes told you that she was waiting to "wild out" and change from the dutiful wife that started the movie. You could just tell that she was constricted for a time being, and the conversations were so fake, so unscripted, yet so unraw, I can't explain it to you but when you have a new friend you don't let them talk your lines, you have a conversation it was just crazy.

Aye!!!!!

And then my friend just inflicted yet another bad Canadian production of a Nigerian movie on me, and if I may the only good thing so far about the movie is the supporting actress with whom I have a picture or two...I so get it everyone wants to show the world what a better movie is all about, it is not a problem, but don't start off nice and finish crappily, the "finishing" of the movie was terrible, it looks like the recording was done on film for the most part, and the story is a good story the end, the dialogues and some of the characters took away from the pleasure of the movie.
Some of the "lead" characters suck, one in particular, he had no business acting, infact when people say ACTION, he should run in the opposite direction like there was a deranged polar bear on the loose. He sucked, constantly looked in the camera and he looked like he was uncomfortable playing his part, and those lines were YUCKY! At one time I thought of killing myself, No I lie. I brought out my unwaxed dental floss, I decided that if I must kill I need to do it after I have removed the plaque from someone else's teeth, no one has to know that I did it and multiple DNAs just puts people off.
The movie is now over, thats like 1.5hrs of my life that I am never going to get back, but one the flowery bright side, I did not buy the movie, my good friend S was tortured and she felt "what are friends for, than to inflict pain on each other", so am on a spree to find some of the worst movies ever and get her to watch every single one of them, because that is what friends do for each other.

One to better things, am watching a Canadian movie on the women's channel, jumping off my balcony looks like a good idea right about now.

Until next time; "put your hands in your pocket, are you sure there are no more lies in there?"

2008-08-13T18:48:00.002-04:00

Random Samplings of Delusions

Its August my friends and I still haven’t gone “summer shopping”, I am as shocked as the next Alamorin, but in all honesty the weather has not been a motivator. There’s this thing I do, I shop with the weather, you know when it starts to feel chilly and two sweaters won’t cut it anymore, I invest in a jacket, when my skirts make me feel cold I start wearing pants, when the pants feel a bit warm I buy skirts, but not this summer. This season we are in is spring coming out of the closet wanting acceptance, like gaddamn. I wore my skimpy skirt once and even then it felt chilly, and yet we say its summer, am at my desk with a pashmina around me because it’s cold, I’ve been wearing pants for the last two weeks, in AUGUST! JEEPERS. Last year, if I had worn pants in public, I’d have been publicly ice stoned for indecent dressing, and my thighs would be all sweaty in my pants but now, I’m wearing pants and it’s still chilly. And we have rain almost every day, I so want to pull my hair out…if someone comes up to you and they’re from the GTA and they say to you “This is one of the best summers ever, weather-wise”…listen (pronounced list-ing) carefully, ask them again “it’s the best summer, weather-wise?” IF they say “ABSOLUTELY” or “YES” ask them to sit on a really nice chair….get out your unwaxed dental floss, cut off a big piece, and with gentle force, attack the person in the chair and “strangulate” them, do it intricately and with love. (em, please don’t go about killing people o, it’s a bad thing, this is just for fictional purposes assuming all humans are cartoons).

A special shout out to my SPAM-A-LOT crew, I love them all, its been almost three months and we have managed to keep up the Wednesday tradition, I mean that is if we do not count last week’s em…”mistake” and I did say steak…

We are currently in the midst of a SPAM-A-LOT session, and the conversion is going in various directions and they’re bringing back memories like they always do. Remember the good old days when we did not have televisions in our hostels and the bunk beds were made of good old metal with strings that everyone felt would break, and everyone had mosquito nets even though no one used them…HAAAA. Anyways, in my day they had these narrators, they were the chicks with older brothers/sisters who had access to Nigerian home videos, Karishika, Domitila, Love Without Language, Daybreak, Yemi My Lover to name a few. And on those random Fridays when no one had “labour” or you’d cut your “potion” in advance (by the time I got to SS1, I was “allergic” to grass…) for me, I would lie on my bed and just listen to gist or go dump my clothes at Lolade’s while she washed “our clothes” and made a junior or two tell us a movie.
These narrators as I will refer to them were GOOD! They made the worst movies seem so good and you’d want to watch them when you got home, they had a way of capturing the writer’s intended emotions and they have what I’d like to call sugar coated tongues. I don’t know where they all are these days or what they might be doing to themselves but I hope that somewhere out there they use they are using their God given talents. Queen T was just saying how after watching the narrator’s version of “TI OLUWA N’ILE” (fantastic movie by the way with Baba Wande, Ayo Mogaji and a host of others I do not remember at the moment…a definite must watch) she started to see the real thing and she got bored and all she has to remember the movie by is the story she was told.
Oh, before I saw DOMITILA, I was told it was the best movie ever, my good friend Rose told me the whole story and I loved it, when I finally saw it, I wanted to spit, it was terrible compared to what Rose had said (then again for Rose, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree).
Speaking of Rose, I remember in JSS3 during one of our socials we re-enacted a comedy, I think it was “THE YEAR 2000” I don’t remember but I believe it was a series of short comedies, I had seen the commercial and looked forward to watching it, but over several days, Rose narrated the “movie” to me and I still remember the one with the guy trying to toast a woman and the woman told him that his mouth was smelling…. LOL. So he went home, took soap and water and started to wash his mouth, we re-enacted this particular comedy, I think the boy’s name was “Akpan” and as you guessed, Rose played that part and this girl was so in character, she actually took her sponge and soap and like scrubbed her teeth….She was barely a teenager at that time, now that was talent. It runs in her blood, and I think she might be suppressing it, but if anyone knows this Rose that I am referring to (LERATO), please tell her to run from me because when am done I intend to draft a nice little contract that binds all of her acting engagements to ME, which I shall carry until I find her and make her sign it (Don’t worry Rose I never leave my house without unwaxed dental floss these days…MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

I miss those days you know, when people were ingenius and we all lived our lives without inhibitions, I remember my time in cotonou with “Master” as we called him, he was the live in house master. Mr Okoro, am sure if he sees me today, we would talk till daybreak and still not have said Hello. As it were, I was the only one that could challenge Master’s authority. Mr Okoro and I go way back to the days of “Oral English” in JSS2 (it was English lesson that was imposed on us after Mrs Aninye’s departure from NIS). Anyways, when anyone was in trouble, I was always the one they’d call, Mr Okoro and I could argue it for hours, change topic, go back to it and I would not leave until my “defendant” was set free.
One time I forget what the girls did now, but Mr Okoro called them to kneel down by the balcony (I know…), so somehow word got to me, quickly I dropped my plate of delicious spaghetti nicely spiced (thank you Enny Folly…) and ran upstairs, as soon as Master heard I was upstairs, quickly he was out by the door with his bible on his lap…
I was like “Oh Sir its dinner time and I have to make sure these kids are getting their nutrients”. Then he told me what they did, and I told him why he shouldn’t punish them and we went on and on and on, for like almost 2 hours…At this time the kids were released and we were gisting about something else, but he didn’t realize it until it was time for night prayers….tehehehehehehe.
Mr Okoro! I remember when he used to force us to learn back when we were close to the stadium…I was in JSS2 then, he’d gather us JSS2s in the hostel and teach us on Saturdays while everyone else pretended to be washing their clothes. I was always the rebel and I always sat beside him, and Mr Okoro’s palms are cleaner than his feet, I mean you can eat from Mr Okoro’s feet before you’d allow him to put his washed hands in your raw rice. He was neat man, but that man’s feet NEVER touch the floor, or so he thought, so I had to pull a fast one on him, as he was teaching, me moved his foot from his left slipper and placed the foot on the right one, I went to walk, quickly I moved the slipper to behind his chair, as the poor guy decided to place his foot back in the slipper, it hit the floor. JACKPOT. Of course he couldn’t look anywhere but at me…unfortunately for him I had planned an exit strategy, I got everyone’s consent on the slipper movement and he couldn’t blame me because at the time when his foot touched the floor I was not seating right beside him….and in good faith could not have been able to move the slipper. Needless to say, we were punished, although I don’t remember how at this moment, because we never cut grass, we didn’t do our own laundry (did we?), now I remember I had to wash plates…YUCK!
I have so many memories now I could write about them all and I think I will, right after these commercials………………….

I am really starting to get ticked off by forwarded text messages, I love my friends totally and completely but forwarded text messages, please, let us stop it, if you must waste your unlimited text messages, text me to say how much you love and cherish my friendship, I ask for no more.

2008-07-31T23:30:00.003-04:00

THE SONGS ARE IN YOUR EYES, I SEE THEM WHEN YOU SMILE

GIVE YOUR LIFE AND SOUL TO ME

I first heard about Edith Piaf in my grade 11 French class, Madame used to mimic her a lot in class (may both their souls rest in peace). If you don't know Edith, perhaps you've heard of "LA VIE EN ROSE" (life in pink), its one of the greatest love songs I've heard in like my entire life, one of my top 10 love songs of all time. Every time I hear it, I want to grab something, put on my pumps, close my eyes et danse. La chanson est tres belle, plus belle, its so beautiful especially when its song properly en francais..MON DIEU!
I especially love the lines:
"They say that love was just a word
They spoke about in songs I've heard
It took your kisses to reveal
That I was wrong and love is real....."

I can relate to this song, or maybe I want to relate to the song, it is my expression of what I expect from that emotion, that has haunted man for all time... AMOUR!

LE CALME ENCHANTEMENT DE TON MYSTERE

I have always loved the sounds of children singing, I get especially happy when the children make heavenly sounds in a foreign language. I watched "La choristes" some years back because this song woke me up from my sleep and it was like an epiphany you know, young children making such pretty noises...AYE!!!! I love this song, I love les anges's album, four French children from Quebec city making heavenly music, every time work gets to me, I open up my windows media and just listen to the children take my trouble away, such angelic voices. Their tears in heaven brings water to my eyes, unfortunately for me I have dry eyes so I get the illusion of water but its actually air. Love the sound of children singing in foreign languages.

Anyways, today was one of those "interesting" days, got to work extremely early and very tired, I had a cup of really black coffee and all I could say was phewwwww, that stuff was nasty! It would wake a dead cat, dang! But it worked for a few hours, I'm starting to think that my need for a cup of coffee is based on some illusion that it actually keeps me awake, then again, I'm a recovering pepsi addict, perhaps I've always needed caffeine to stay awake and just didn't know it.

So, I found myself at "Storage" today, looking for some ancient data and when I couldn't find it and was heading back to my office, this guy in the elevator didn't hold it for me and he went by himself, in a lift, close to lunch time. Now you might not know, but I try not to be around the elevators around lunchtime, the elevators take forever to arrive and when they do, they are usually crowded and who wants to stand next to a stranger whose belly is rumbling? Not I. So the guy left me, even though he knew that I was behind him, but I didn't sweat it, I "called" for another elevator, and as I turned back to wait for it, there was this reallly cute guy standing there.

I know I talk about cute men, and I know there's a difference between, hot, sexy, cute and handsome, this man was the embodiment of everything, if you looked up the word "lustful desires" in the dictionary you'd probably find him standing there, he just oozed gorgeousness, righteous O/K - "OVERKILL", he is definitely THE P! My goodness, the guy reminded me of fresh strawberries at the farmers market that I got the other day, they were abnormally large, and very red and they tasted better than they looked, orgasmic eruptions in your mouth.
This guy was cute and he had an innocent face to him, anyway I was cleaning off the drool when the elevator came and he like held the door for me, we both got in, he was getting off two floors below me, and then he came and stood almost right next to me, my heart was pounding fast, it was one of those, "stop the elevator, let's sort out this tension between us" type things, but I held myself and just "took him in"...(breathe in, breathe out) he got to his floor, got off the elevator and as he left I got a look at his butttt....MON DIEU! It was TIGHT! And I thought of a million ways to "do it".

Then I was heading back home and the weirdest thing happened to me, okay I lie, it has happened before and it will happen again but it happened, I had a Marilyn Monroe moment by the vents. So I was working home on Yonge street feeling snazzy with myself in my pink skirt, just walking freely on Yonge and Gerrard close to the College Square place, I walked on a vent and next thing I knew my skirt like FLEW UP IN THE AIR. Naturally I moved away from the vent, but now I know why mothers tell their kids to wear clean underwear...I just thought to myself, what if I had on dirty knickers or a thong which I was going to wear earlier, luckily I opted for a regular butt cheek covering, comfort guaranteed panty, I only hope no one got a picture, otherwise...................they will be visiting my workshop.

On a side note, if I ever talk about my torture chamber could someone bring my attention to it, we don't want to criminals now.

2008-07-25T18:00:00.002-04:00

SECOND CORINTHIANS FOUR

I was having one of those moments where I was just in a praise mood, because I am absolutely blessed, I look at my life and I just want to jump and shout and sing praises till I forget my name. I really have so much to be grateful for, I turned a year older, that is, I woke up to see the end of another year in my life and to begin a new journey. Like wow! I know of people who weren't as old as me when they died, I'm not special, I have nothing that makes me stand out better than them, but here I am.....With my two feet, 10 toes, 10 fingers, one nose, nicely shaped eye brows, two eyes that see well (especially with glasses), a wonderful voice, a bubbly personality, wonderful friends and very loving relatives. I'm blessed!

My birthday was ok, I realized I was old on Monday, when I was 16/17, my birthday was the day I deleted friends from my phone book because they forgot my birthday, now I really don't care, I didn't even tell my co-workers till noon when a co-worker on leave actually sent a package to my desk, I felt loved and you know what, she's a great friend and one that I'll cherish forever :)

And now I look to the future, I'm 7 years away from "Retirement". I think I always knew what I wanted to do with my life when I was younger but it never really occured to me, its been very effy up until now. I wanted to be a lawyer to "Advocate for the cause" then I wanted to be a banker (I can cross that off my list now, mission accomplied), then an actress, now my dream is such a possibility that I can feel it. To think that I decided on what I wanted to do with my life over cheesecake and water is crazy but I'm so "tripped" sometimes I just want to jump on my bed like the time Tom Cruise jumped on the couch to proclaim his love to his wife.

AH!!!!!!!! I'm happy. I'm very happy, these days I wake up and hum...and laugh to myself, thats how much joy I have in me.....oh boy.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed"

p.s.: Congratulations JENNYC :)

2008-06-22T19:37:00.002-04:00

6 quirky things about me!!

I got tagged by Afolabi.

The rules:
1. Link the person(s) who tagged you…Afolabi
2. Mention the rules in your blog…
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours…
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged…
6 quirky things about me

1. I am a recovering colaholic, I drink cola at a disturbing rate and I hate to admit that am addicted to it, but I am
2. I have a terrible habit of popping my chewing gum, its nasty, I hate it, but I can't control the POP!
3. I am a compulsive liar, I tell tiny little white lies even when I don't need to, and am on a 6 months plan to stop lying :)
4. I am a day dreamer, ok when I say it like that, it sounds bad but I live in my head during the day :)
5. When I hear music that moves me, I move I don't care where I am, what the music says or who am with, if its music and it speaks to me, I do as it "commands".
6. I can't keep to time for the life of pete.

I will tag people later

2008-06-22T19:21:00.003-04:00

And now Ladies and Gentlemen

(also known as @%@%^&%*$^#^%$&^%$^%$)

So its Sunday right, I spent Saturday with some of the "wonderfullest" people I know, as I silently look forward to next Sunday.... The mood of the evening was delightful, jokes being told all over the table, we lived like we did when I was 16 and boy was it fabulous, and then I saw the blinking lights on my BB and I looked at the message HI SWEETHEART! And I remembered what year it was, how old I was and how long it had been going on. (hiss)
I hate those songs that people sing about/to their ex-lovers after its over, like "now you want me back, I don't need you" or "get lost, move on with your life, as I have". Clearly the artist hasn't moved on with their lives if they can put it into song, Many of them claim it was a "spur of the moment thing" but if you really hate someone and they really hurt you, the best revenge is for them to find out from sources close to them that you have moved on, not through a grammy! I mean sure the grammy could be a tadbit irritating too, but I believe in silence.
The best way to kill your opponent is with a pillow, quick, mean, quiet. The most silence farts are the major stinkers, and we've all heard the famous line "silence is the best answer for a fool", so why, oh why do people still sing and lament about ex-lovers that they've moved on from.

That being said I absolutely think my friend D sucks! He sucks so much you get to a point when you just want to pray that his enemies let him be so that you can be the only cause of all his problems :) And that is putting it lightly like diluting acid before pouring it on someone's face sort of lightly, but then again, I'll take my own advice, and just hum...

So I have this budding Theory I have shared with a few people, we call it the "flowers" theory, ok, I do, it all started when I was in my "cold water" phase. (COLD WATER: The delicate art of watching ice melt in cold water before pouring it violently on the face of someone who is really getting on your last nerves, it cools them down and you don't have to slap..win/win)
By val; Flowers is the theory that all mankind is a flower, on our good days we have been well watered and are booming beautifully, when we are irritating and grumpy it is because we are dehydrated and not getting enough water in us, a remedy to this grumpiness being the art of "watering". (see cold water).
Going by this, when someone makes me so angry, I sit and chant "flowers, flowers, flowers" and go on my merry way, I'm too young for hypertension. LOL!

2008-06-12T18:01:00.002-04:00

FERNANDO

I noticed that I've had no time on my hands to read peoples' blogs, comment on my blog or even drink water some days. Maybe I lie about the water, as it is I'm gulping down some really fresh tasting water, not the sort that feels like you're drinking metal. YUCK! Takes me back to my first trip to TOGO, it was a school trip, we stayed in the worst hostel ever, the water sucked, the food sucked, the bathroom sucked, the bedrooms sucked, and I don't even remember anything we did on that trip. Oh how I loved excursions.....The second trip to Togo was with the same school, it was a lot more fun, we partied hard, excursioned hard, and I still don't remember anything we did except for the time the boys played soccer with the locals, and the guys in the campus we were staying at were checking us out,with our SS1 bodies that we assumed was all that...Men how we have grown. But now that I think about it again, the water in Togo did suck the second time, but it wasn't a rusty tap taste this time, it was more of a salty after taste, God bless Pamplemousse and Posotome water......and of course we would we have been without almighty FAN YOGO.....

Anyways, it is with a heavy heart and close to teary eye that I announce that I no longer have a real reason to go to work. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job immensely, I love the people I work with, my boss is an angel, my team members totally ROCK!!! Infact I think that I have to leave and we all break down and cry, the team is just extremely fantastic, if we tried to take over the world, the world would be grateful and wonder why the team hadn't done it a long time ago. So I love my job and I long to go in everyday.

Now the real reason why I go to work is for HOTNESS and well today is his last day, so no more him to stare at when I walk in the morning, or to try to look pretty for, to laugh out loud so that he can hear me. Ahhhhh...Whyyyy? Why do these things happen to me, I mean we were making such progress, I photocopied more so I could sneak a peek at him, he spoke to his boss more so he could pass by my seat, and in between the times we laughed out loud and pretended not to notice the other laughing from opposite ends of the floor. I wish him all the best in his new role/position/company, whatever, but I'll miss my engineering hotness.

That being said, I was at service ontario today to renew my health card, meet boys, flirt with sexually confused women for discount on cute jewelry, but anyways...I had just filled out my form and was heading to the "seating" area when this short Older Chinese lady stopped me, she asked if I could help her fill out her form, as she couldn't read English...
So I helped her, I noticed that her health card expires on the same day as mines July 21, (my birthday by the way) and then I had to look at the birth date on the card just to make sure - you know how these computers are daft sometimes...- Anyways turns out she was born exactly 50 years before me....I mean what are the odds that an old lady would stop a girl who shares the same birthday as her and ask her for help, I might have had a distant look to me and she still managed to approach me, is this a sign of things to come or was I her grand mother in my past life? Would I come back to the world as a japanese man after this lifetime? Oh it could have just been a coinky dinky.....Then again coincidences don't happen, there's always a because for why.

2008-05-15T23:17:00.003-04:00

Things I do When Am Bored

Denise, oh denise…
With your skinny jeans and beige carry on
Why do you frown?
Why do you play loud music in your ears
Your glorious MP3
Looking away like you were being watched
Oh Denise

Separated by two train tracks
And a platform
We stare at each other
I look at you, you look behind me
But there's no one there
Oh Denise

Does my hair throw you off
Have I gotten shorter, less noticeable
Maybe it’s the grey pants and the brown jacket
That hides my preciousness
My large bossom,
I'll change soon, very soon, I'll only wear colors
Like neon green, olive orange, tourquize
Bright pink, Pink Red, Bright Yellow
Maybe then you'll see me
And I won't have to try to lead your eyes to my pretty face
Oh Denise

Why do you frown so Denise?
Its not you, the frown I mean
Smile, its only 8:52am and your train is always empty
When you have to push off hobos to get on the train,
Stay squashed between something that smells like decaying vomit
And second hand smoke stored in a basement
While something you pray is an animal plays with your behind
Just so you can get to work on time
Then you frown….
Oh Denise :)

2008-05-08T19:02:00.009-04:00

Another One Bites The Dust

It happened again, this time it was so unexpected, I wasn't ready for it, but who is these days and I could say the occurrence is getting more rampant than anything else. And sometimes when I walk, I feel this eerie presence and I guess perhaps it might be time for me to seek help, but I can't, mustn't, will not unless of course "these" symtoms continue.
I still seat around recounting my last memories, the jokes and roast of her and I don't recall a "doll moment" all I see is happy smiles, laughs, silly little notelets, and I guess that is how I would like to be remembered when my time comes as the girl that was always bubbly and very jovial, full of life and just a blessing to be around. It hit me hard, perhaps maybe harder than I care to admit and for the first few days, I prayed it was a miscommunication, I prayed that it was someone else, and I just avoided everything that would lead me to "truth". But then truth came, and I tried to say it, but it wouldn't come off my tongue, it stayed in my head and I just started repeating it to myself, over and over….and it hasn't seem to totally stick. I think about it everytime, when am about to wash my face, when am about to close the door at night, its like the thought of her pulls me back tells me, its true, am gone…but ehhhhh.
Every song, every stupid joke, even the damn bloody free dailies I got remind me that its true, as we were created from dust, we shall all return to dust. I wasn't too close to her, but I grew up with her, from the days we walked home together, to running into her at my sister's school which later became my school, and going back to see her after school was over, and even spending time with her, its just surprising that I'll never get to see her again. Another woman down, a million of us to go, its like we're matching towards an unknown destination and at every unexpected point, another one of us is bound to fall.
When I go I hope my friends will all get drunk and sing green bottles standing on the wall…….
"and if 1 green bottle should accidentally fall, there'll be one less green bottle standing on the wall…"

RIP Babes, I'll miss you, and weddings will never be the same without you around.

And then I decided to take the subway home last night, I stood waiting for the train, wondering what death is like, why are we so afraid of it, why does it haunt us so much, am I being followed by death, is my time very near and I do not know it, the light of the train drew close, I saw the sign "stand back from the yellow line", the light stopped moving, it was a station short of reaching me, and I wondered how fast could the train go, why does it kill on impact, at what point do you die, when the train smashes you or after you hit the floor and the tracks makes art with your flesh and blood. Is it painful, how painful. If you die a painful death does your soul re-construct as it leaves your body. Is it possible to be alive yet dead at the same time.
The light started to move, my brain calculated faster. If I jumped to the other side of the platform just as the train is about to hit the station, will I make it, or will I fall under the tracks. If I lie flat under the tracks will it kill me, I heard the train…If I jump now, will I feel the pain, what else is there in life if every good person whom I have no memory of sadness is dead, maybe its my sign to go, to just do it.
Hey Jude starts playing on my mp3 player, the train was close now, I could see it moving slowly, my body, slowly moving towards the yellow light, me thinking "if it is an accident does that make it right"
Paul McCarthy sang: "And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain Don't carry the world upon your shoulders"
Sure I won't the world can take care of itself without me, and I will know what death is all about…and for a moment, I thought about jumping, the world went dark around me and I could feel "them" around me gently whispering, No, No, No, No, and on the other side…"just do it, you'll like it" and then Sir Paul sang to me: "You're waiting for someone to perform with" and that was the defining moment when I stopped and let the train go muttering "thank you".
Am not ready yet

2008-04-18T00:12:00.004-04:00

(UNTITLED)

The first time it happened, I was 10 I think, no I was 9 going on 10, we were in class and the next thing we knew, they called her to the principal's office that she was needed at home. Word on the street was that her father was travelling abroad and wanted to see her before he left....(and so they drove from Enugu to Iwo just for that.) Anyways, she was gone for a month, people speculated, but she came back eventually, but she was never the same.
Those that knew, shared what had happened, and we were all ok with that, we respected her privacy and didn't do anything funny. Some nights she would start screaming, some days we would all be playing and then people would run up and down the quadrangle, and Aunty Ngozi would appear with Sister, and she would grab on to their legs and wail, and with pity in our eyes we would watch them as they would drag her to the matron's room. Those were days that were bad, on good days when we realized that we were reminiscing about home too much we would stop.
The next time I remember it happening, it was the holidays, I think it was easter break, my cousin and I were usually the first ones to leave school, but then we were about the last ones, we knew our parents remembered it was going home day, my aunt eventually showed up just when we dragged our grumpie selves to the dinning room. We were too excited we left our plates in the cooking area, jumped on her and asked her what the heck took her so long. When she told us, we were sober for a few minutes, all I could picture was a little girl leaning on a young boy with bulgy eyes and of course the baby was being carried by the older man, just the way I had seen them at the wedding a few years back....
Each time I hear/see/meet people who have lost their mothers in one way or another, I get chills, before I thought the older you get the easier it is to accept these tragedies but that is not true, when I was younger my mum was a tyrant, Osama Bin Mummy, mean, didn't listen to a thing, would just slap you around at the slightest excuse, and then I remember all those other lovely times when my mum would carry me when I fell, seat by me when I was sick, be in the car to pick me up from school. The smell of her perfume on school grounds on sad sappy days when the world just seems gloom and no teachers were willing to teach. The little things.
As I'm growing older though I'm coming to realize that the longer people stay in our lives the more we miss them when they are gone, and in these trying times, I can't help but think about my aunt, the way she laughed a lot, the way she talked, her cute face, the make up that always seemed to be the same color as her outfits and always suited her. The way she called us baby, and always wanted to be Nigerian, her lovely christmas trees and the way she said Children, there's a lot of things I'll miss about her, and to think that just before the incidence happened she flashed through my mind and I thought of calling her up, I should have. May her soul rest in peace, she will trully be missed, and I saw someone that looked like her today, she was pretty, confident, always laughing, so full of life and she robbed off on people, she was the best. :)
Cherish those around you, you never know when they'll leave and never come back and you'll just sit there watching their coffins go 6 feet underground, soon to be food to worms and you'll never get to talk to them again, all these lovely conversations that you wish you had with them will linger in your head and you'll just wonder, why now? Why God? What am I supposed to do?

May we all have no regrets

2008-03-02T03:10:00.002-05:00

Et Maintenante........

I should really start putting together a list of all my sayings, perhaps I'll call it "mamaritaisms" and next year I'll have enough to write a book and hope that everyone would buy one for themselves and 10 for their friends. My favorite saying so far is:

"You will find the bottom of the pot". To explain, if you've never eaten jollof rice or beans from the bottom of the pot, you are totally missing out! Now, if you have you would know that no matter how burnt the rice/beans is, that scrapping on your spoon is the sweetest part of pot, no one likes it because they don't know how good it tastes because they've never tried it.

I was explaining this to a friend, you know as Nigerian women, many of us get to a certain age where the world is wondering if "we" are okay, and why we are still single, and we find ourselves searching for men, wedding after wedding we'd go, she's gone, where is my own man, and all the men we find are taken. Patience! "You will find the bottom of the pot", the man that is "perfect" as they come, out there not taken because no one has noticed him.

That being said, its about the 5th week in lent, I haven't had diet pepsi, I haven't gone to stations of the cross either, if it counts, I said the rosary through the week :) I am trying to be a better person, I stopped getting angry with people. Just over the weekendI got a parking ticket in a private parking lot where I park once a month when I go to get my hair done. I always buy an item from the store with the parking lot when am done with my hair and yet they called parking authority on me. I was livid at first, sat down, thought well...someone could have broken into the car, or they could have towed it away. I got over it, thanked God for the wonderful day and well, on the bright side, the money goes to the government, BETTER ROADS yall!

Just the other day, on friday I think, I woke up angry, somewhere between my sleep and my thoughts, I heard on the morning news that Prince Harry had been serving in Iraq for 10 weeks and we'd been discovered! I was MAD! No, I wanted to break something, I wanted to tie someone to a surgical table, and cut their insides while they are awake, their screams being my joyful melodies. Seriously, why would anyone jeorpardize the safety of innocent people over one royal blood, don't get me wrong from the Prince Harry angle of things, he loved the army it was the only thing I feel brought him joy, we've watched him grow, watched him grief, watched him not have a youth, why can't we let him have 1 pleasure - killing people! Its just not right.

And the damn paparazzi killed his mother in the first place, they took the one thing that mattered most to them away, they showed their every tearful moments, bashed them, praised them, criticized them and then they go off to war like every good soldier and even then they are after them...SERIOUSLY! I hate to believe the press are that ruthless and if they really are, then they're like legions of beasts and I don't know about you but when a beast becomes violent where I come from, ONE KILLS IT:) Anyways, I calmed down over the prince Harry issue eventually.

And then there's Britney Spears, Gosh, I'd love to be her shrink someday, I think it would be rather fabulous. She has so much to say, so much that she would love to express but isn't given the opportunity to. She doesn't need rehab or drugs or her kids, she needs to be by herself with a stranger preferrably one who has studied Neitzshe, Heidegger and Freud to an extent, to listen to her and explain to her that she's not crazy, she ought not to loose it, and that if she tries to understand the whatness of what if, perhaps she'll be okay.
I pray for Britney whenever I remember her, she's lost, in need of some form of guidance and the more she tries to seek the more the paparazzi get in her face and try to find that which she seeks, I wonder what would happen if she kidnapped a paparazzi and took him into the "wild" for a weekend retreat.........Where philosophy will be their only sustainance :) I think that would teach the rest of them a lesson, although, I'd rather go for a serial killer who only kills paparazzi that have a taken a picture of Britney Spears....MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

God bless us EVERYONE.

2008-02-04T17:30:00.000-05:00

This event should be televised

Oh my goodness, this year is moving extremely fast, its unbelievable, I’m in shock, we’re already in February, its been over a month since I last spoke to him (and other stories). Lent is around the corner, 2 days to be precise, and it just dawned on me and I praised my smooth skin in the mirror this morning, I haven’t decided on my “sacrifice” for this Lenten season.
Thank God I discovered “fasting” soon enough, food is not the only thing you must give up, it is symbolic of things you can’t live without, but then there are a gazillion things man depends on. In the past I’ve given up chocolates (grade 12 and 13), gave up cursing and *** in college, and recently I decided not to give up something but to give back, so last time I was “nice” to people or was that in 2006. No in 2006, I did the traditional fasting (I gave up food on Wednesdays and didn’t have anything with blood on Fridays). So this year, I wondered what I would give up for lent, so many vices, I gave up sugar this year, for health reasons, I like liqueur but I am not dependent on it, in fact I could go without alcohol for months and not feel a thing (side note: I learnt a blogger does not “drink” am still stunned by that discovery!).
The one thing that I cannot get enough of, I’ve been hooked on it since I discovered it, I’m so hooked on it that if I go a week without it, I’d go crazy, its my crack if you will. Sometimes when I tell myself I’d leave it and find myself going back to it, I think “gosh, this is what addiction feels like” and then I thank God its not cocaine! Phew. I have an addictive trait and that’s why I like to stop things before I get into them. I remember when special K first came out with the strawberry and cereal thing and I tried it with soy milk, that was all I’d eat, I’d have special K for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I kid you not, when Indomie noodles first came out, it was all I’d eat, we were lucky to have gotten cartons of them so I just ate like it was going out of style. So many near addictions that I can’t even get into…. (Chuckling at memories) Anyways this Lenten season, I’m giving up DIET PEPSI! I’m hooked on diet pepsi, it’s so bad, at one time I was going through a pack of 24 in a week! I just enjoy the taste and the fuzziness, and the feel of it, I don’t know why I love diet Pepsi, perhaps it’s the refreshing taste or the caffeine, or the lightness I just love Pepsi, but I figure if I can give it up just as Jesus gave up food in the desert for 40 days, then I can do anything. And the 7 bucks can go towards something nicer like cigarettes (I joke)
Anyway, this lenten season, I intend to be a better person, grow spiritually, read my bible, be nicer to everyone, go to Church on sundays, I might even join the choir, and of course, I'll be at stations of the cross on fridays, this lent, I'll leave this lenten period a better person.
AMEN

2008-01-17T16:45:00.000-05:00

A THOUSAND WORDS ABOUT ME

I believe that I am a nice person. I’ve always thought that saving humanity is something worth doing. I believe that deep in every person is the need to be loved, to be cared for, and that no man should be left alone, regardless of attitude. Mean people are just nice people waiting to be loved.

I don’t smoke, the year I turned 19 I smoked a pack of cigarettes and I didn’t see the use so I never smoked again. I drink casually, I have never been drunk, I was tipsy once, I drank 2 bottles of cheap champagne on a very empty stomach, I now know my limit. I have never woken up hung over before, I have never had the chance to blame anything on alcohol.

Mahatma Gandhi is not one of my heroes, I love his work, but he wore diapers, and I found that his double personality of been gentle and persuasive at the same time just too much to handle. My dad is my greatest hero, I want to be like him 10 years from now, a lot better but in that line. I wanted to be a banker as a child because of my dad; I just learnt that a banker is a person that works in a bank J

If I could choose to be like one of my parents, I would choose my dad, on of my greatest fears in life is growing up to be like my mum. She is a great person, but she woke up one day and became a totally different woman, she is still the greatest woman ever, and I am always so proud to introduce her as my mum, but I really don’t want to be like her 30 years from now.

I hate depending on people, I always have a backup plan for everything I do, I hate disappointments and I have never completely trusted anyone. I believe in people as humans and that no one is perfect and by not completely trusting when humans make error it’s easier to forgive.

I don’t understand the concept of forgiving and forgetting, you can’t tell your memory to let go of some wrong that was done no matter how much you say you’ve let go of it, so why do we bother? I hate the word SORRY. I’m no longer sure why I do; I hate the feeling of remorse, and as such try not to wrong people.

If people were to say things about me, I would like to think they would have a ton more good things to say than bad, not because am perfect or try to be, but because I have just never had the chance to be mean. I don’t want to rule the world; I want the world to remember me.

I always wondered what would be said about me if I were to die; I wonder who would show up at my funeral, what each of them would say, if they would cry, or laugh and why. Ideally I would like a disco ball at my funeral service, my body in a nice urn, and the mourners in pink, making music, rejoicing that they could at least say that they knew me and that I touched them in some way.

When I grow up I want to be a cartoon, I want to fall say ouch and heal, I want to die and wake up, I want to be shot see the blood and suddenly be whole again, still vibrant and alive, I want to grow intellectually, mentally but not age quite as much. If only I was a cartoon.

If there was a soundtrack for my life, I WILL SURVIVE for every time I’ve fallen, VIVA FOREVER for every friend I no longer talk to, BOHEMIAN RHASPODY for every time I’ve wanted to cry, DON’T GO LOOKING for every bad break up, AVE MARIA for every bad news I ever got, O FORTUNA for every uncertain period, SUMEMR TIME for boring periods, COULD WE START AGAIN for the one that got away, DANCING QUEEN for obvious reasons, THE SLEEPING BEAUTY WALTZ for when I find true love.

I am a romantic at heart people who know me would laugh at it because I don’t believe true love exists, you know the sort of love that keeps you up at night, the love that makes the world a better place, the sort of love that speaks for itself, the one only talked about in Verona. I look forward to that grand gesture, not roses and champagne or the whole world on a plate, but something small, very thoughtful but extremely small, almost insignificant yet carefully thought out.

I fear I’ll never find everlasting love. I fear that I would be a terrible mother, I fear that I would be a bad wife, I fear that I’ll be 40, single, pretend to be happy but find myself drowning my sorrows in promiscuity and alcoholism. I fear that I might end up getting married 4 times to 4 different men, love them all equally and leave them all when they least expect.

2007-11-24T00:24:00.001-05:00

Canada Je T’aime

So yesterday, am roaming aimlessly around the Eaton centre right, and next thing I see by the fountain is people, all three floors of the fountain area were covered with loads and loads of air breathing humans, just standing stagnant like flies around an open wound (EW). Anyways, I automatically thought it was a celebrity; quickly the analyst in me scanned the area to look around the people see similarities decide if the celebrity is worth seeing. NOTHING. So I had to do the next thing, ASK! But before I did I had to do my own research, fact, its Thursday, fact, there are a ton of people, fact they’re not facing INDIGO meaning its not a celebrity signing a book at Indigo, then somehow I caught a glimpse of the third floor, CHRISTMAS WONDER AT 6:00PM NOVEMBER 22ND 2007. Uhm…..could it be???? SANTA? Nah.
It was 6:05 and they were playing bad Christmas songs so I had to ask a store attendant….people were waiting, standing, holding on, because they wanted to watch the unveiling of the Christmas tree! Can I hiss now or later?
What can I say it doesn’t take too much to please us Canadians....

So at work there’s this total eye candy for me, like the guy is hot, he is so hot, he walks on snow and it melts, so hot if you poured ice on him it would melt, he is so hot, he boils water with a wink, I don’t care what people say but in my opinion, the guy is HOT!
Anyways from now on we’ll refer to him as “HOTNESS”. Anytime Hotness walks by my desk, I freeze, anytime he walks into a room am in, I just get so flushed and find myself being grateful for my skin color. He’s hot, he knows it and he’s not afraid of it. And that exponentially increases his Hotness!
Anyways, I have a daily routine, I turn on my pc, go get water and coffee, stop by my friend for chat while my pc loads up, well my friend sits across from him so talking to my friend is actually me getting my dose of hotness.
I would go up to talk to him except that we don’t work in the same department and he’s my superior, and we just have nothing to talk about and you know that feeling, when you like someone and you finally get to know them and what you think you like is not what you are getting from them. Like someone is soooo cute and they are extremely irritating, they think they're better than the rest of the world and worth not. Ok he's not that sort of person, he's really cool with my work budz so if he's a bitch, then we're two bitches that are right for each other.
So anyway, today, Hotness saw me as I was going to grab my coffee/water, and he smile and said HEY! Like we're old budz and I just grunted a "HELLO" and smiled back but it was so one of those moment when you take off your glasses and sing HE KNOWS ME HE ABSOLUTELY KNOWS ME. Like that was not enough, I don't know what was going on in his corner thats across the room from me, but in the afternoon I saw a man standing on his table probably fixing a floresent or God knows what, I later figured that would be the temperature, as it was getting in his way. Anyway, so there he was, across the room from me, fixing the light and am starring like totally starring! He probably knew I was checking him out, he had to have known, he finished whatever he was doing, took off his sweater and I swear I saw SMOKE! HOLY! I gasped, one of my superiors asked what was wrong, it was then I realized that I wasn't in heaven!

So if anyone knows Hotness, tell him I liked what he did during the day, and I would like to get "coffee" sometime....AH!!!

2007-11-10T00:35:00.000-05:00

Got Milk?

Have you ever tried to buy milk in recent times? HOLY! I don't drink milk, scratch that, I can't stand milk, infact I don't remember purchasing milk since the time the milk men stopped delivering, you know the whole full bottles in empty bottles out and the milk was fresh and it never spoilt and you never grew tired of it.. .Just saying.
Back then, you only had two choices, small or large bottles! It was still milk, it was the white stuff and no one cared if it was loaded with cow fat, it was milk it went into corn flakes and thats all there is to know about that.
Now buying milk is so complicated, I walked into the store hoping to pop to the back, pick up milk and pop back out. Boy was I wrong. The milk was at the back of the store (typical store planning tactic, another day we'll discuss operations management), milk had its own corner of the fridge. They had 2%, half cream, full cream, partly skimmed, 1%, goatmilk, pastureized, homogenized, soy, lactose free, 2% partly skimmed lactose free amongst others. How am I supposed to know what the milk tastes like, what is "homogenized milk"? Why would anyone drink Lactose free milk, aren't you better off staring at milk from afar?
Anyways I got one of the "customer service reps" to assist me, like I cannot read, the boy started reading all the types of milks to me. I oughtaaa!!! I asked him plain and simple, sweetheart I do not buy milk, I need to know, which one is the regular milk? He tells me it depends on if I want lactose or not, and then he started listing the complications of milk to me.

Obviously I ran off! I thought it was the store and the location, all those posh executives that are hooked on their crackberrys, don't get time to buy groceries and worth not, run into the store every other day on their way home to buy milk, kid themselves that a pig or mouse produced it because it is bound to be reduced fat!
So I got to my local grocery store, and went on my quest for milk, they not only had different brands, they had them in shapes, sizes, it was like writing the GMAT without studying, you're second guessing yourself, no blue, no purple box, no pasturized, no soy, what if she's lactose intolerant???? Luckily for me I bumped into a friend and she knew what regular milk was, and that is another joke for the dinner table on a drunk afternoon. PSH!

The weekend is PACKED! I barely have time for............ but thats alright, there's always next week and the week after that and the week after that one.

You know what sucks? When two people say that they love each other so much and they know that they are not right for each other and they're too chicken to take chances because they're worrying about those around them, and they won't let go of each other or fight to stay together, and you are just in the middle of it all, and then they ask you for advise? You don't know if its right or wrong, you don't even know if you agree or disagree all you know is that if it were you, then the situation would definitely have been different and you wouldn't have to make that particular decision.

LIFE AS AN ADULT. I miss the days when the toughest decisions you had to make was share your sweet with your friend or put it all in your mouth before he/she notices, I miss those days *sob*sob*

2007-11-08T21:16:00.000-05:00

Thank You For Smoking

(The movie is definitely a must see)

I was listening to a song by Infinity, I think its “Jesus Knows” or so, one of the lines mentioned something about smoking then licking tom tom before going to church so no one knows. I don’t know, (quite frankly I don't care)if they were implying that smoking is wrong from a Christain perspective, but that is my assumption.

From a health perspective, smoking kills those around you and makes you wish you were dead, you know the way a drug peddler watches all of his/her clients get addicted to narcotics and watches many of them overdose on the stuff, or the way a drunk driver gets into an accident and kills all of his/her friends but is still alive, yeah in that way smoking kills, and is wrong. Then again, you eat fresh vegetables everyday and die of frail bones but you get the main gist. Health = good, therefore cigs = bad.

From a religious perspective, I don’t remember the bible mentioning anything about tobacco being bad. But Jesus summarized the 10 commandments to love your neighbours as yourself, if you wake up at 2 in the morning, put on your jacket and step out to the balcony in the middle of winter to smoke, I say there is no greater love for those around you than that.

We can argue that smokers indulge in cigarettes and indulging is wrong, that would mean being Obese is a sin! Lets analyse:

* Fact: Smokers smoke because they can, and cheesy nachos taste great and you indulge in them because you can, only to complain about belly bulge (raises brow indecently)
* Fact: Many smokers do it to relieve stress, its been a long day at work, your subordinates are irritants, your boss was on your case the whole day, only to get home to your boyfriend continuing a fight that you don’t even remember, who do you turn to…That’s right, Uncles Ben and Jerry and they help don’t they….
*Fact: Smoking shrinks your lungs and you are prone to lung cancer and other complications, the perfect poutine is made of French fries, and chunks of cheese melted by thick gravy, tastes great, but all that “cheesy chunks” finds its way to your arteries and clogs it, and this causes…a heart Attack! BOOM!

I guess from a religious point, if smoking is bad then it’s a sin and it displeases God then enjoying fatty foods is bad and it’s a sin and it displeases God and my question is, wasn’t the foods created to be eaten like cigarettes to be smoked?

From a “moral” point of view, it can be said that smoking is bad because people become dependent on cigarettes, I know of people who can’t sleep 6 hours straight, nope their body needs nicotine when it should be resting, waking them up just to smoke. I know I screamed as well when I heard but from that unique view, smoking is bad because of its addictive nature.

From a hygienic perspective, the smell of cigarettes smoke in posh dining institutions is fantastic, something about it excites me. Now smokers that don’t like to take showers are a menace to society, think about it, the stale smell of cheap cigarettes masked by a fresh whiff of cigarette smoke… Not very flattering. I remember I had this teacher in high school I hated him explaining stuff to me, he smelled like what spoilt cigarettes should smell like if farted :) He smoked a lot and wore the same sweater as he smoked at school and he never took the sweater home to clean it, am sure you get the picture, except he didn’t stop there, he also loved his black coffee, now imagine 3 cigarettes and two cups of thick black coffee have been consumed, the “consumer” decides not to open his mouth for three hours, and then he does, “very offensive” if you ask for my opinion!

I guess what am trying to say is smoking is a choice thing and churches, mosques and other places of worship shouldn’t look down on good people because they like their cigs, now if those people were fishes we might have problems with indency and betty ford clinics, but that is not the case :)

(Just in case: Daddy, I don’t smoke, just so you know……..)

2007-10-24T00:00:00.000-04:00

On RANTS II

I have a huge problem and its one of those problems that you have to go see a shrink for, and if you don’t already know, my last shrink needed a shrink to help him help me, and then I went to see his shrink who ended up getting committed if you know what I mean. Its not like am crazy completely, I just am not the sanest human in the room, and if you’ve ever studied psychoanalysis as a hubby, you constantly keep trying to psychoanalyze everything even the people trying to help you with you psychological problems. ANYWAYS.
My problem; I have this habit that I can’t rid myself of, everytime I get crappy service I don’t say anything I converse with myself tell myself to go back and tell them what I really feel but then I don’t I just like walk away vowing not to ever go back.

I’m not very adventurous with things that go into my stomach, I mean I’ll try everything till I find what I really like and then the adventure stops there, I will keep getting that thing, and I guess that’s why I hate franchises, they are not consistent with delivering the same quality service.
I first started buying smoothies from Booster Juice when I walked on Islington and Bloor, I used to try a new shake everytime I passed by with my friends, till one day I tried the green tea matcha contortion and I was hooked like it was crack. I had a smoothie everyday, I would save cash just to buy my Matcha once a week.
Anyways, I remember the lady that sold my Matcha got some apprentice boy that didn’t enjoy working, and he sold me a shake, and it was BAD, not enough creaminess, too watery, you couldn't tell if you were swallowing green spit or if creaminess was supposed to be involved with the drink!!! I threw the 6 odd dollar drink in the bin in front of the boy and looked at him with disgust and walked away, I told everyone I knew about how he sucked, we still bought smoothies from there, but if we saw the boy we walked away

That being said, I’ve tried varieties of my Matcha Monsoon, I know that the ingredients for a “decent” drink is 2 scoops of frozen vanilla yogurt, 1 half a cup of ice, an “eyewatch” of soy milk, a spoon of Matcha green tea powder and you blend, the drink should be creamy to some degree, I use it as a meal replacement it should be that thick.
Anyways, I was out to Lunch today and decided to stop by Booster juice at my new place, about 10 minutes walk from my office, I thought it’d be nice to have something to suck on as I did my work. So I paid above average price for a regular matcha monsoon, I saw the lady pour the ingredients into the mixer as I paid for my drink, I made it a duty to tell the dude operating the machine that I would like my drink on the thick side and included the words “Add some more frozen yogurt, anf some milk, but I like it very creamy please”.
They handed me a watered down version of the drink, I was pissed, I tasted it, looked up, shot the woman a deadly look one of them “I know where your family lives and I’ll eradicate them all….I WANT TO SEE YOU SUFFER” sort of looks, she looked like she was tired, like I care. Anyways I was soooo pissed, I sipped the drink and soliloqued all the way back to the office.

In an ideal world, this what should have happened:

Me: What brain dead monkey mixed this atrocity and declared it a drink?
Them: Madam, is there a problem?
Me: Could you taste this and tell me what wrong?
Them: (tastes) It tastes fine to me
Me: Oh, tell me, do you get the cream yogurty feeling, is this something that would satisfy your lunch cravings, I don’t feel the cream and I definitely don’t taste SOY MILK. I specificially asked that my drink by creamy, but do you listen??? No. Perhaps I ask for too much, perhaps I don’t walk here and don’t know how the drink is prepared, but I certainly know that you are skimping on the frozen yogurt, and Mr it bugs me! It bugs me because I paid full money for this evil imitation of the green tea Matcha, I work hard for the money, sure it could be said that my dad paid for my ticket to travel here, but am here ain’t I and if I wasn’t I probably would have some old guy giving me money to do nothing but that is not the point! The point is that I don’t like filthy cheaters like yourself who think that because I don’t know what I ‘d like to drink you can cheat me and offering me a fake. I don’t very much care for that Mr, so listen carefully.
I need 3 scoops of frozen vanilla yogurt, NO ICE, half a cup of Vanilla soy milk and a spoon of Matcha goodness, for booster I’ll take something soothing because of the bad karma, now get to it before I teach you about manners

I wish the world was ideal somedays, I wish I could fight for my right and not shrug telling myself that I wouldn’t be back for repeat crappy service. It happens a lot, the other day too I went to Lettuce for some ceasar salad, I specifically asked though jokingly that they shouldn’t be shy with the dressing, but then I ended up eating dry leaves! Did I complain? No… the next time I went in, I told them that I’d wait for the SS (Salad Specialist) who usually did my salads and I complained while the other dressing skimper was in ear shot about how I hated when people skimped on dressing, if I didn’t want dressing on my salad, I’d bring fresh leaves from home.

And you know it ticks everyone around me off, especially my sister, I will whine, and cringe and complain about everything wrong with service but not to those that need to hear it. I’m tired of being pushed around, getting crappy service and not complaining at the time when my emotions are ready to flair, you know….I don’t know, the smoothie sucked, the bread tastes good, but am not happy

2007-10-14T12:35:00.000-04:00

On Rants

It has finally happened! 1 USD = 0.995CDN, if you don’t know what that means, in short form, I will probably spend the most money buying gas this year, as I will be spending a bulk of my shopping time in Buffalo NY. And I will tell you why, back in 1999 when 1 US = 1.47CDN and we hoped and prayed our Uncles and Aunties would shake us in USDs, we’d change the cash and have a filled day, and well a book that cost 9.99 in usd was 13.99 cdn and we bought the books delightfully. Then the rate started to drop, and we didn’t really bother, but then as of three weeks ago when the 1 US = 1 CDN, I thought it was off that a 9.99 usd book still cost 13.99 in Canada!
Uhm….then I went on my fav store’s website and their 5.99 shirts were still being sold at 9.99 in Canada, I thought something was off, and it keeps getting worse. A GMAT book at COLES is going for 39.99 in Canada as compared to 19.99 in the US. Now people will say doesn’t the gas cost cover the difference? Its not about the cost but the fact that they’re taking us for chumps, these big corporations, and its not their fault, we Canadians are so quiet, we let people run us over, I mean a GMC Envoy is still 30k US and about 42K CDN, and the average American graduate earns like 5k more than the avery Canadian graduate, you know. And we pay more taxes, and are deeper in debt, our educational system is more expensive, should I stop?!
AH! And Buffalo is like 1.5 hrs away from Toronto, and less depending on traffic, there’s a ton more variety down in Buffalo, and, if you have a great car, you can hide enough stuff between your tires and not get double taxed at the border. There’s more variety down there, I know I say Buffalo like one would say NYC, but I’m cheap not crazy, I won’t drive 8 hours just to buy clothes, books, and lotion, JAMAIS!
I’m glad I got the whole American thing out of my head, if all Canadians that live near the US could cease shopping at American stores based in Canada, no one’ll teach them before they drop their prices as well, I mean I would love to add to the Canadian economy but they’re making it tough for me, its like throwing money away. (My dad would be so proud of me if he ever read this)

That being said, what is up with British Airways these days, they’re so incompetent its sickening, I personally would rather fly Air Canada and know that am getting crap but whats the point of paying to be treated like crap? Once my mum was flying back to Lagos en-route BA and they gave her total grief, total disrespect, even their manager, I had to remind the guy that even if it is small, part of “our” ticket money goes into paying his pay cheque and if we all stopped flying BA then he’d be like jobless!
Everytime I take my folks to the airport I make it a point to mention the crapiness of BA and why I would rather fly half way across the world to get to Britain before I fly BA. Anyways see me going on about their crappy service when I’m really pissed that my dad’s bag came just in time for him to leave. He arrived Toronto with one box, they promised the second box would be in by Sunday, for where ,then they promised Monday…right, we called them like they were giving life out for free, and it turned out that they gave us the wrong tracking number, eventually we got someone with some brain to track the luggage only to be told that it had been in London for almost a week. After making threats and “calls” we finally got the box on the way to Toronto. And then my dad tried to change seats, he was confirmed for one day, waitlisted for the next, and then some half brained mongul told him that was a seat for the day he wanted so he cancelled my dad’s confirmed date only to leave him on a waiting list! I can’t fully disclose what happened but we got the man a seat on the day he wanted and like my boys would have said “they lost a lot of men out there :)" It does pay to be a B.i.t.c.h. sometimes

OH MY GOODNESS!!! I just heard that the average grade 9 student (14 yr old) has had sex with at least 4 different boys! I mean seriously, and there are 14 year olds that have been with some 50 odd men. I want to throw up, its disgusting, and many young kids still, think that oral or anal sex does not count as having "done it" and they hold "rainbow" parties where they specialize in B.J.s eww, ewwww ewwwww. What is our world turning into, is this civilization? Is this the price we're paying for being career women travelling, working hard? Have we ignored our sons and daughters and left them to grow up in unimaginable ways? I don't know, I really don't know who's to blame, the TV, the schools, I do not know but my 14 year old better not be fucking some uncut boy and not understanding what intercourse mean because I will teach her all about STDs and show her what happens when STDs go BAD!!!! Gosh...

The question is, how are you supposed to tell your kids about sex, what do you say to them, I have younger cousins that are getting to that age where they are looking at boys, they have a very open relationship with their mum which is good but I fear that soon they'll have "grown up" questions and since am the "black/pink sheep" in the family they'll come to me and I really don't want to push them to men, or push them away, or turn them on/off sex, I just fear and if I can't talk to them when I have my kids, I can't send them off to them (cousins) to talk to them.

But that is gross, when I was 14, I didn't want to play with a boy's "wee-wee", I talked to a lot of boys, but I enjoyed the intellectual conversations, or perhaps I was too busy wondering if all the guys I knew were gay and what it meant. I don't know....God help me raise my babies (when I eventually have them :))

2007-10-05T18:26:00.000-04:00

Wednesday Oct 3rd 2007

Dear NaijaDude;

I have been writing to you almost daily now for over a month, sometimes I wonder if am schizophrenic and you really are a figment of my imagination, but I delight in writing to you.

So today started off not too badly, I ironed my outfit the night before so I wouldn't forget to unlpug the iron after. I set out for work early, I arrived late due to subway delay. It was a hot day, I wore my brown skirt and I black shirt with my new brown blazer, I am still wearing flats after the comment my father made.

Work wasn't too much fun, I tried to do some "serious" stuff, communicated some important informations to the powers that be, and yes, I had the most delightful pizza slice today at lunch, I know I know I cannot digest Pizza, but it was some sort of DELICIOUS CHICKEN with a ligh spreading of cheese, it was fantastic but I couldn't finish my slice of pizza.

When work was over, I realized I was extra tired, but I managed to drag myself en-route the school library to do some research, I forgot to tell you, I pass through 1 KING STREET WEST everyday on my way home from work. But anyways, I was working on Yonge street, you know past yonge and Adelaide, past yonge and Queen, stopped briefly at THE BAY, they're having a sale!!! WOOOHOO, and I was just about to go into the starbucks by JACOBS you know opposite PRINCESS OF WALES THEATRE when I saw Toy-toy across the street, obviously I yelled her name, and crossed over, yes the things we do in the middle of rush hour traffic. She was with a friend heading to the library to do research so we decided to work together, closing our eyes to temptation of the EATON CENTRE.

And then we started to hear music and it occured to Toyin that Natasha Beddingfield was playing that day at DUNDAS SQUARE and she was supposed to get a free pass but didn't because of work. So we stood on the outskirts listening to the music thankfully we had our glasses on, so I took a few pictures.

And then we saw people going past the barricade and we wondered why, and they told us it was a free concert, of course you know what happened next I don't have to tell you.

Natasha performed all her new songs and there was this guy in the crowd that kept shouting I LOVE YOU NATASHA, and it reminded me of that time that we went to see Madeline Peyroux together, you know before I got the CDs that I love soooo much... (thank you again for that)

Anyways Toy-toy and I kept spotting people we knew, and I swear I thought I saw Overwhelmed (by virtue of hair color), and then someone had their hands around my shoulders and I thought, could that be Michie, but she'd have gone to Toy-toy, and then I looked back and you won't believe who it was yeppp OVERWHELMED, and then we bummed to some Natasha B. together with her lovely friends.

And then they had to leave and I just basked in the glory of Nat B. playin...

Whatever happened to her brother? I loved loved loved that his song - "IF YOU'RE NOT THE ONE"

I hope Calgary is treating you well, and you're loving it. I wonder if you're real, perhaps I'll take a trip to Calgary and stab you, if anyone calls the cops then I'll know am not crazy.... :)

2007-09-12T23:02:00.000-04:00

SISTERS IN LAW

I'm watching a documentary as I type, its called "SISTERS IN LAW" about two sisters Vera Ngassa and Beatrice Ntuba, they're lawyers trying to bring change to their city of Kumba? Cameroun. I'm watching because I am going to contact them, I have to contact them, I love what they are doing and I want to see how they can work with our NGO S.A.F.
There's a case they're working on right now, a woman ran away because her husband beats her and forces her to have sex and she's afraid to sleep at home, so they're in court, the husband is being charged for assault. Now his lawyer's only defence is that the woman is a bad wife because she left her house and has left her husband hungry, and his clothes dirty, I mean COME ON! The husband claims that the wife has been sleeping with another man because as a "muslim" you always have to tell your husband where you are going and she didn't and that was why he beat her.
When one of the sisters started her cross examination, the "wife beater" (I dont know his name) claimed that afterall she's still a woman and she should watch how she talks or something like that...Anyways closing statement comes along and the male lawyer wants the court to send the wife back home to her husband, that he has learnt his lesson because he will be found guilty and thats harder than any punishment he could be given...SERIOUSLY!!!!
The one that caught me was the grown ass man that raped a 9 yr old and claimed with a straight face that the girl said she was horny and wanted to sleep with him. The Lawyer sister now asked "You mean to say this 9 yr old girl came to you, she's breastless, and she wanted to have sex with you, you refused so she cut herself and started screaming?" The man said YES! I wanted to die.
Anyways they found him guilty, then the he-goat opened his disgusting shithole of a mouth and said that he knows that he has been found guilty but they should treat him nicely because he is an orphan. GROWN ASS MAN o. Like that was not now bad enough, they sentenced the man to 9 yrs in jail, and then decided that as he is an ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT he should be deported back to his home country................THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA! as in I screamed, my neighbour actually knocked on the door.

Anyways, buy it, SISTERS IN LAW Am watching a woman who beat her 6 yr old niece/stepsister,with iron hanger, because she sent her to go buy bread but she wanted to watch tv, the girl's back was all bruised, her eyelid was even torn. The girl ran away for 3 days and the woman didn't even bother to look for her. CHEI! And then when the girl's other relatives came she claimed the girl fell, like seriously. Apparently the woman uses the small girl like a maid, and she has children too you know.
That reminds me of the time my friend Jude went to Nigeria with some of the cast of his movie "The Tenant" and they saw this girl carrying shopping bags and two adults behind her, I think one slapped her or something because she dropped a bag and the certain cast member who's Jamaican was shocked that there was still slavery in Nigeria. *shakes head*
Growing up we had "maids" but if you ask any of them, they probably will tell you that they felt at home at our house. I remember in Primary school, my mum would wake me up at 6am, to boil water, sweep the "compound" before preparing for school, by the time I was on my way to school the maid would just be getting up. I know if I enter Nigeria tomorrow and one of my mum's "domestic staff" takes it upon them to clean my room I won't hear the last of it, but today is not about my mother its about the SISTERS IN LAW.

One of the sisters made a fantastic point towards the end of the documentary, she commented on how she's been practicing law for 17 years, and it was only in 2004 that she was able to convict two men of domestic violence against their spouses and both women were MUSLIM. One even managed to get a divorce from the Sharia Court. Oh damn, I think I'm moving to Cameroun.

"that justice may reign"

2007-09-06T23:16:00.000-04:00

TO THE GREATEST TENOR EVER

Right after lunch, I was waiting for the elevator to get back to work and I decided to catch up on happenings, I totally decided not to follow the news because the last time I followed someone's health (Pope John Paul) he died and I tried to cry but the tears didn't come, PAPA was more than a pope to me, I liked his courage, his discipleship, his take on life. Ask anyone Pope John Paul, oozes holy presence, he entered the large field, and the moment his feet touched the ground it was holy, what am I saying field, he was in his pope mobile, and before he showed up on the screen at the CNE in 2002, we were all in tears, feeling the presence of God, and unworthy, young folks, old folks, folks that didn't have the faintest idea who he was, it was magical. Anyway, I prayed that he would be in Germany for WYD 05 but he wasn't and I cried because WYD was just a few months away when he died.

So I didn't follow the deteriorating health of Luciano Pavarotti, and I found out that he died just today, apparently he died last night but am just so sad, ok maybe not sad but I really loved Pavarotti, and I was so looking forward to seeing him sing live someday.

(My first, my last, my everything - Barry White RIP and Luciano Pavarotti RIP)

The first time I heard of Pavarotti was on a British Airways flight, I was either leaving or entering London and I was rebelling against "new age" music so I flipped to the classical station, and I swear I thought I heard God, but No, it was Luciano Pavarotti, sing LA DONNA E MOBILE from Rigoletto. I enjoyed it so much, I wanted to fly back just to hear more from RIGOLETTO, luckily for me on our flight back, another station was playing PAVAROTTI AND FRIENDS. I obviously bought the RIGOLETTO musical, watched 2 renditions of the Opera and watched out for Pavarotti in concert which I never got to see...

I bought a couple of Pavarotti's cds, I labeled them SLEEP TIME SPECIAL, I especially loved NESSUN DORMA it used to calm me down when I was stressed, I don't know what it means, but for me Nessun Dorma told me everything would be okay.

One day I stumbled on a song that was apparently sung by Pavarotti and Dion *apparently it was first done by Dion and Brocelli*, what would such a collaboration sound like I asked myself. See, Pavarotti revolutionized the way we saw Opera music, I mean his voice was all over, I've had people ask me what genre of music he was supposed to be classified as, he doesn't have a genre, he's an ubiquitous singer, I think am using that word well oh well....He will be missed. I LOVE THEN I HATE YOU

My sister's friend said Luciano Pavarotti almost sounds like Lucifer, I quite agree, he will be missed.

My only consolation is that my aunt Yemi's dad will have Pavarotti close to him to sing for him as he looks down on his children to bless them and watch over them.
REST IN PEACE LUCIANO PAVAROTTI, REST IN PEACE AUNTY YEMI'S DAD and for those of us left, we can still enjoy the AVE MARIA, by Shubert, the one song in the world that still makes me cry.

2007-07-25T19:49:00.000-04:00

Call Me Irresponsible

He walked onto the stage, shabbily dressed with his head down, one would think he was an alcoholic who had just been kicked out of yet another rehabilitation centre, you don’t get it? He was sporting a pair of very faded blue jeans; a partly buttoned dress shirt that he probably picked up from the depths of someone’s very cluttered trunk, he had a glass of what everyone assumed to be gin in his hand, his beard needed to be visited by a decent shaving stick. His hair, was unkempt, it had major residue of what one could only hope could have been hair gel.
He grabbed the microphone, and mumbled something about a dedication to the newly weds and walked over to the piano, the guests were petrified, someone started an odd rumour that he was the ex-boyfriend of either the bride or the groom, he took his place in front of the grand master, played an off tune, the guests shifted in their seats, the bride, on the dance floor didn’t seem bothered by the intruder that was now armed with a microphone and a piano. Her groom’s face could not be seen but one could only hope that he had not pressed the white panic button and was now awaiting re-enforcement.
He breathe into the microphone, two men in black jackets stepped forward, they were stopped by the bride, the alcoholic-cum-musician-cum-hostage taker smiled, he rolled the back of his hand delicately across the keys of the piano, creating a melodious tune, the crowd mumbled. He played a few chords in C minor to get their attention; the people sat up, and from his mouth came sounds, that cannot be explained, he started to sing; Me and Mrs Jones; we’ve always talked about Angels singing to God and praising him, perhaps one of them fell out of heaven and took over the body of a mere mortal, and decided to render it useless with the gift of music.

“Me and Mrs Jones
We got a thing going on
We both know that it’s wrong
But its much too strong to let it go now
We meet everyday at the same café
Six thirty and no one knows she’ll be there
Holding hands, making all types of plans
While the jukebox plays our favourite song

Me and Mrs Jones
Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones
We got a thing going on
We both know that it’s wrong
But it s much too strong to let it go now
We got to be extra careful
That we don’t feel our hopes up too high
Because she’s got her own obligations
And so do I

Me and Mrs Jones
Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones
Now its time for us to be leaving
And it hurts so much
It hurts so much inside
Now I will go away,
I don’t mind But tomorrow we’ll meet at the same place, same time

Me and Mrs Jones
Mrs, Mrs, Mrs Jones

That was the thought that crossed my mind as I played Me and Mrs Jones on repeat :)

Me and Michael Buble, we’ve got a thing going on, ever since I played the CD for the first time, I haven’t stopped playing it, (Thank you “corporate sponsors”) Don’t get me wrong, my first love will forever be Matthew Aaron Dusk, but MB rocks as well.

2007-07-18T19:57:00.000-04:00

HUMP DAY

Thanks to Tania all day at work the durex hump day song was stuck in my head

"Hump day, Oh Hump Day you are what we seek
Right smack back there in the middle of the week
Single or married, at the game or ballet
Durex offers sex on this glorious day
Thursdays are nice, and fridays don't suck
But Wednesday's the day on which we should (BEEP!)"

At one point I was sure I was going to start humming out loud.....Thankfully I didn't.

Yesterday the girl at the salad bar really ticked me off, so I went for the custom crafted salad, she told me I had 4 vegetables, So I asked for Tomatoes, cucumbers and ....sunflower seeds. The lady goes, you need one more vegetable, so I said EXTRA SUNFLOWER SEEDS please, and then I asked for crumbled egg as my protein and her response was "You could have used the egg as your 4th vegetable".
In which part of the world do these recruitment people find these weirdos that tell you that an egg is actually a vegetable. I mean anywhere else we could laugh it off, in the bank, we'd call it a mistake but if you work in the food industry, scratch that, a salad bar and you cannot differentiate between a vegetable and an animal product then you should just like you know cross the highway at night with your eyes closed. :)

Let us take time to praise God for the gift of life. Father, I woke up this morning healthy, I wiggled my 10 toes and 10 fingers, I walked with my two feet, took in air through my nostrils, saw the world with my two eyes, it is not because of my doing but because you oh God are great. I praise you for the world, I thank you for making each person different and giving each one of us different paths in life, I thank you for everything you do is for a reason, I thank you for the faith that I have in you, for the hope that I will not stumble, I thank you for everyone, for problems because you fix them in your own special way. Thank you for the gift of life, for the wonder of medicine and technology, for economics and statistics. I thank you because where our minds stop to function, you come in. I thank you for Physics, for psychology and Philosophy, without which we would limit ourselves.
THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING , and God, I've spoken to you a lot but I'm asking again, bless everyone, bring back joy, take away anxiety, sorrows and illnesses, fill our hearts with joy and love for one and other. And God....THANK YOU FOR BLOGSPOT and Joann that made me join. AMEN!

2007-07-17T19:06:00.001-04:00

CONFESSION TUESDAY w/ MAMARITA

I confess that some days, I miss H.U.N., I met many a great people on that site, I mean its still up there and all, but it is not like the old days, you know, people had intellectually stimulating conversations many times about nothing. I remember when JennyC came up with her confessions, and she would confess in codes and KonstipatedL and myself would try to decipher what she was trying to say. Ah the good days. (This is what inspired my confessions by the way)

I confess Its been almost a month since I last spoke to Konstipated L, its like the end of an era or something, its sad but I guess all good things are supposed to come to an end, she’s still one of the greatest people in the world, just things can’t go back to the way they were, its like fighting a lost battle

I CONFESS THAT ALL IS NOT WELL

Sometimes, my subconscious asks God why I still believe in him. I believe in God because he listens to me, and solves all my problems, sometimes though, its like he leaves and I’m all alone, but God never leaves, and some days when I’m scared I hear footsteps by my door or I feel comforted and I just know that God is there by my side.

·My favourite colour is pink, I bet that’s not news

I confess that I was in denial when Theo left and now that he is back, I can't wait to cath up, although I don’t know how to tell my other friend that Theo being back doesn’t mean I’ll go back to ignoring him ;)

I confess my life sort of has no direction at the moment and my future is in the hands of God and the mercies of the world and I am praying that things go MY WAY.

I confess my parents are so in a vacation mood I like this new them, but I know that all good things will eventually come to an end.

I confess I know I will be missing my cousin’s wedding in August, but I keep telling my sister that I will be there so she doesn’t get offended, eventually I know the truth will come out and she would be disappointed in me, but the only way for her to actually make it to the wedding is by me not going. (Ok the trick here is discretion, let us try not to actually tell her. *thank you*)

I confess the future looks bright yet uncertain

I confess I keep deluding myself into thinking I’m living a low-carb lifestyle.. LAWL. I probably eat twice as much carbs as the average carb eater. I know I know I keep telling myself that if I think so then its so

I confess my birthday is on Saturday, I haven’t got the faintest idea of what I’m going to do, and all my friends are literarily waiting for the call that tells them what the plan is, MAY GOD HELP ME because if I disappoint, then next year I better be buying my own cake and wishing myself a happy birthday.

I confess I seriously miss being a child; all this responsibility stuff is just so overwhelming, no one to tell me what is right and what is wrong, I have to fight my conscience and pretend to ignore my gut feelings. I miss the days when I could do whatever and get beaten up, now everyone is all about “ITS YOUR LIFE”. What do they mean it’s my life? Its OUR LIVES…
I confess I am loving my job, all I did all day was read a novel and eat...tralalalalalala
I confess all isn't completely as it seems but I'm starting to see the sun after the cloudy rain
I confess that I've never been in love, perhaps by choice, but we all know we can't choose love, I just don't think I've found a man that can "handle" all my love.
I confess my new favorite drunk song is HEY BABY... Hey, hey, baby. Uh AH, I wanna know ooooooo, if you'll be my girl. I can loose my voice over it
I confess, Shalewa is on her way to London and I didn't get to say goodbye *SOB*SOB*LOUD SOB*
I confess am starting to ramble........

2007-07-05T18:42:00.000-04:00

ITS ALMOST THE WEEKEND!

Why is it that we spend 4 years minimum in a "higher" learning institution trying to get the best grades possible, half of us not sure of the words we're spewing on paper as we've crammed the whole course not bothering to understand but to pass, only for us to hold the degree in our hands, promising ourselves that we can now get ourselves nice apartments downtown, a "flashies" cars and of course shopping sprees that last a life time. But then, we start to apply for jobs, and every job that we think we might want, demands experience from us. Get this, they ask you to finish school and have experience at the same time, but they never tell you where to go to get this experience.
After getting turned down by almost every company that ever had a job opening, someone decides to give you an opportunity or you probably lied your way to the job. You're excited not knowing what to hope for, you're reading all your textbooks looking for clues as to what it is a "financial analyst" is expected to do.
Cut to 6 months later, a friend asks you what exactly it is that you do, and you respond with I HAVE NO IDEA. So tell me, why the hell is it that everyone requires prior training and experience from you if they expect to train you on everything you need to know, and sometimes expect you to do what you do not know you're doing. My last job went through plenty protocol, they needed Customer Service Experience, knowledge of computersystems, the interviewer asked questions about providing technical support, I got the job, and they trained me for 7 weeks on what it was that I was expected to do. Half the people that got on the floor, didn't know shyt, half the time the "newbies" were the bane of my existence because I knew too much, and part of what really made me hate the job was the fact that a CSR had the shrievelled balls to tell me to stop reading a script, I had gone 4 levels above my "scope of support" I just put him on hold and transferred him to my rude supervisor who told him in a thick "Indian" accent to go fuck himself, more or less... LAWL.
Ah. Oh well, I love my new job, I'm gaining a lot of experience and exposure from the job and my boss rocks, my whole team consists of the coolest people ever, they're very helpful and when I ask what am supposed to do, they laugh and say they don't even know what they do and I feel at ease but I was promised a fast paced high pressured environment and all I get is chill? I'm pissed and I keep complaining to the director and she keeps promising me that work will come and stress would be involved, I smile when I hear that so am still waiting for the busyness and well am hopeful, starting to give up cos its been like 3 weeks?????
Oh well.

That being said, I wanted to talk to you about Sharon. I love Sharon, Ok Love is a strong word but me and Sharon sort of started to get serious about 2 weeks ago, I did Sharon like twice that week, she was fantastic, I used to talk about her to my friends way back when I didn't know her and all, I talked about how she has a perpetual smile and worth not, but men, the girl wears you out and she still has a huge smile on her face like she could go on for hours. Thirty minutes in the morning is all the free time I can handle but whatever it is that she makes me do, WORKS! I mean the other day I wore a shirt that was tight at the arms like 3 weeks ago and it was loose, my shirts from the winter fall off my shoulders, and well, I told myself I was low carbing but I've had off days when I binged on rice and oh, Naijadude cooked jollof rice and chicken one time and forced me to eat it, but even after that, my pants are still threatening to fall off my arse.
Sharon Mann's Body Tech is the greatest and I think I'll invest more days a week into it, I'm so not a gym person, threadmills suck and when you lift weight without cardio, I don't know about the rest of the world but I just feel silly. And the best part of Sharon other than the smiles I get when she makes me do unthinkable things is that its FREE on telly, so I basically roll out of bed, match myself to the living room, commit my 30 minutes sin 3 days a week and get it off my plate. I only hope am able to keep it up :)

I hate CAB DRIVERS! Today, I realized I'd be late for work if I took the TTC so I hopped in a cab, on a good day heading downtown shouldn't take more than 7 minutes, traffic lights and all, but then the driver started to do 30km/h on a 50km/h road with no traffic. First block I didn't say shit, second block, I Sighed, then I noticed he was slowing down so the lights would catch him, by the time I got to Chruch and Dundas, I couldn't hold myself, so I told the man straight up that I didn't take the cab for the convenience but the speed and if he wasn't sure of the speed limit on the road, he might as well quit being a cabbie and work at Maccydz.
I'm not a bitchy person by nature, I know the guy probably used to be a medical Doctor in Bangaladesh, and I really was going for nice, but he was trying to make an extra loonie off me, the money that I would have given him as tip, Oh well....These things happen right?

I wonder if anyone is following the UNDER 20 soccer games, well Canada is currently playing AUSTRIA and to be honest, its not looking gud from where I'm seating, I mean Chile slapped us 2-0 on our own Canada day. EHN? Who scheduled the match and when they did why didn't they bribe the Chilean team? Ah. Ok. Well Nigeria is doing gud am proud of them, they beat Costa Rica and Scotland and they are playing Japan on Saturday. If you have not seen the Japanese team in action you won't understand but I AM AFRAID. So not a big fan of any form of sports but my sister drove us to Suya Spot and I was enjoying th company which was how I saw the Japenese team, the people are good, Bee and his brothers were making comments like them Japanese team were being controlled by Ninetendo Wii thats how good they looked out there, and the Nigerian team, well, you know, they could be better. I hope they at least tie with Japenese if they don't the Japanese team, and I'll try to watch the game as well.

My birthday is coming up, am delighted, not quite, since I turned 12 and my dad forgot about my birthday and my mum travelled without me and the maid had no money and I literarily had to buy myself a birthday card and cried myself to sleep, I cried every year on my birthday, I'm not sure why I did but I usually did. Until Last year, last year was a "champagne" celebration for me, I planned a cool b'day for myself, had a little party at the rooftop, it was OFF THE CHAINS. Had friends from work talking about it for days, the idiots that were feeling too cool to show up suddenly were wondering why I didn't remind them....AWON O to the D to the E. The party rocked, my girls were like dressed to impress, the bartender Jess was FANTASTIC, she actually took a cab home to empty out her liqueur cabinet just for me, awesomeness. And of course my dad gave me money for which I didn't thank him, blame MICROSOFT for that one, I wrote a nice long email, pressed send, the thing refreshed the page and I just walked off. (I did him wrong, I apologize but I never stopped feeling guilty about that).
So this year is a challenge for me, I wanted a beach thing but someone is already having one the week after and unfortunately for me, Suzan and I are friends with the girl and we also have common friends with her, it'll be like 2 beach parties in a roll. And Theo has been mixing major techno jamz for me, dang. Its a tough one, but I think I'll just ask suya spot to use their "lounge" get a karaoke machine and seek out a Karaoke machine, get a liquour licence and tell my peepz, SUYA n BUZZ and see where that leads us. I actually do hate celebrating my birthday, infact the year I turned 20, I celebrated it as my 19th birthday, and asked that all my cards and gifts say "HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY". I felt warm and fuzzy on the inside, and this year I'll ask strictly for moneyholder cards, no gifts, no YOU'RE ** years, simple a plain card, nothing on the outside or inside, and well MONEY :)

2007-06-25T22:20:00.000-04:00

ON VIDEOS AND MUSIC

I found this while perambulating the internet trying to feign laziness. I remember the days when music videos were original, they made us laugh. I remember TRYBESMEN, I discovered them by mistake from Lola Abiodun's "hook up Nigerians". I remember eLDee was showcasing two shots and 2 ply was it, and they had a video like that, men at work, and they got majorly dissed cos they were wearing bubble vests in Naija, but that was the fashion back then, in the scourging hot sun we wore bubble vests cos we've gone to jand and seen them wear it like that. Anyhow, I don't remember how I discovered them and worth not, but I heard Plenty Nonsense and I was completely hooked, I wanted more, and my good friend Mrs O, sent me their cd, which I played until it scratched, burnt copies and played it some more.
I guess now is a time as good as any to say I WAS A TRYBESMEN groupie, they were good and I was sure to mention them to any one I met, in fact if I marry my "my first love" they have to play at my wedding even if it kills them, because I met him through them.
TRYBESMEN...They rock, here's to them getting back together.

Of which, I heard Plantashun boys are back together o, they even have a song sef
Say you believe me . Its not all that, I'm just shocked that they 're back together I mean seriously, like after Faze cried his heart out in the bathtub, the other two get back with him, like dudeeeeee NOOOOOOOO. Sha am happy for them, and I wish them the best in all they do.

I have to say, the last Blogville Idol eliminations sucked o, haba, no one voted for my TLK, I mean he actually got eliminated like seriously, WHY????? The song was stellar, the performance was good, and he was sent away just like that. I'm totally boycotting Blogville Idols now o, I mean what is the point, TLK and Bobby have been voted off *sob*sob*. What is there to listen for, my flag is down, my spirit is low, I'm playing "the party's over" from one of my showtunes for my superstars. TLK FOR LIFE... and BOBBY ROCKS!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHH

Am I the only one that hates the shuffle function on devices, I mean sure who send you message but sometimes you press buttons by mistake, you're walking home, listening to some upbeat music and you're like powerwalking right, and then the stupid music changes to something excruciatingly unwalkable to, like totally. So am listening to C Cho Ca Brule and am walking fast, and the song ends and the next song my stupid walkman plays is HURT by Johny Cash. I obviously love the song is why its in my walkman but mennnnnn, thought them mp3 players were supposed to have some sort intelligence...

I love Matt Dusk, I'm crazy about him, Matt is not the sort of man whose music you just enjoy and forget about, No no, no, Matt is not only sweet, his voice is amazing. I found out about Matt Dusk in 2004, I turned on my tv and I was doing something else but I heard
and I went out and bought the CD just like that. I have never seen Matt Dusk perform life, but I bet you I've seen every possible publication out there with his name somewhere in the context. I love Matt, the way he talks, his voice, the way he looks, the simpleness to him, the fact that he attended St Mike's choir school, his extremely mixed heritage, and I started going to his forums, and the man responds to his fans, and there are so many duskettes out there, old, young and even unborn kids. I have followed Matt's life, am not a stalker or nothing but I've "followed" him, and well, I guess I'm letting go of him now. Matt will always be a part of my life, when people make me cry, I will pop Matt in and he will sing my blues away, when I am happy and need to express the joy, Matt will be there for me, but Matt and I cannot be together, I need to let him go, sure he will always be in my heart, he just isn't the man in the shadows promising me forever X eternity :)

Lenny said to me on Saturday that I am talented and I should not suffocate my talent. Thank you Lenny, when I finish my "project" I will be doing a one line dedication to you, (most people will be getting honorable mentions) you've been one of my rocks, every time I've thought of giving up you've told me that I'm better than I think I am. I remember the days when you used to quote me to me, thanks buddy! God bless........

Torture method #245
Tie up your prey in a white room with surround sound and a BIG screen, and play the same episode of teletubbies for 24 hours straight. Don't forget to dope them up with lots of caffeine to keep them awake....MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

2007-06-19T22:28:00.000-04:00

8 THINGS ABOUT ME

So Spook E tagged me, I wonder why, I mean I couldn't possibly pick out 8 random things about myself, but i guess I will try.

The Rules:
List 8 things about yourself. At the end of the post, tag and link to 8 other people. Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they’ve been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do

1) I didn't know Homosexuality was considered wrong until I was 14, I thought a child was lucky to have two daddies.

2) I love driving, in fact driving is my therapy. When I need to clear my head I find a nice set of wheels and hit the highway, I usually feel better afterwards.

3)I hate coffee, when I was a child, my mum worked at Moore Plantation and we used to go visit her after school, and they used to make coffee and hot chocolate, we would drink the hot chocolate and my mum and her colleagues had the coffee, I loved the smell and thought it would taste better than my hot chocolate so one day I snuck a sip of hot coffee. I've hated it since then, now I only do exotic coffee based beverages from starbucks :)

4)I have a sister, no brothers. My sister and I look nothing alike, I look like my dad she looks like my mum. The only thing we have in common is that sometimes we sound alike over the phone. Yet, we are so close, if my sister falls down, I'd feel the pain, weird but true

5) I wish I was 5 feet 2 inches. Its the perfect height, and there are so many shoes out there for the vertically challenged and so many men to go with that height. And thats why I hate short women.

6)My favorite color is pink, I thought I would grow out of pink when it became big but I just loved it even more. I'm crazy about pink, one in every 3 items I own is pink. When I get my own place I have a good mind of painting my "lounge" area pink.

7) I've always wanted to be an actress, I know its a lot of work but its also a lot of fun, I especially envy performers in musicals. I don't remember when I got into musicals but I love musicals, I envision a world where we can sing out our lives with strangers, its my love of musicals that makes me a huge fan of World Youth Day.

8) I've been in the presence of Pope John Paul II (RIP) and I felt the holiness, even before I saw him.

and am tagging everyone.......:)

2007-06-19T21:36:00.000-04:00

TUESDAYS WITH MAMARITA

It is Tuesday right? MAN! Time flies, just three days ago we were chilling at the Nigerian Reunion in Canada, which was a whole lotta fun by the way, Bobby was running all over the place on Friday, you know Planner extraordinaire and all, they did a lot of work and men I was ashamed to be Canadian. MENNNNNNNNNN! The event was set to start at 8, we waltzed in at 10 thinking we would miss the "red carpet" special, and there were like maybe 7-8 people in there, I felt so out of place, especially when I saw a lady in native, like kai who send me message. So we waited for over an hour, and even when the performance started the place was still well empty. The gist was that everyone was in VIP......
Sha, the performances started, Ash Thomas rocked the house, then Temilade...well, and then there was "Canadian Basket mouth", he was introduced as a comedian, and I know its hard to face people as a dancer, comedian, announcer whatever, so I urged him on. I mean his first joke was RAW, I had to explain it to everyone around me.
dude comes on stage saying he has HAIR stuck in his teeth and he had just finished eating. He said his wife said he must chop by force before he leaves home and so he did *Chew on that for a moment*

Anyhow, Madarocka came on, I am not into hip hop but the lady ROCKS!!!! And then Banky came on, and all the girls were all over him, the boy rocked the house, like totally, He missed a bulk of CAPABLE because I was outside meeting some Naija Ryders.
Then Ikechukwu came on, and damn....I love the man's energy, but I hate what he had to say about Canadians, I tried my best damnit, I can't stand hip hop but I cheered him on, and the boy's body was uhhhhweeeeeeeeee. I had thoughts of vodka on bare chest......uhm

So we started to dance o, the room was still somewhat half empty, cut to an hour later the place was packed! Ok not like sardine packed but like decently packed. Now you ask why was I ashamed to be Canadian? The fee was $85 per person and many people I called thought the price was too much? Ok at first I thought that, but the location was right downtown, opposite CN tower and Sky dome, what more could you ask for? Free non-alcoholic beverages, cute waitresses carrying around hors d'oeuvres and saturday's event was in the classy business district on bay street, you had the path under your feet, the TSX next door, I mean come on, 85 quid was nothing. And the bbq was badly attended, there were like 50 of us, I mean this people did major advertising. They had posters in places where every Nigerians visited - suya spot, the meat store, india africa, hair dressing salons....HAB, there was the online thing via facebook, I heard from Bobby T, but I did some major texting of my own. So why the turnout sucked....Well, I would like to know myself.

I was happy though, I spent the reunion with one of my classmates from my Air Force days that I hadn't seen in what 8 YEARS! I hooked up with her on facebook but it was good seeing her, and then we were at the picnic right, just chilling, waiting for suya, and am gisting with a friend I hadn't seen in months, and this girl comes up to me to say hello. I screamed like a little girl. I hadn't seen Rukkie in years, no word of her, nothing, although now that I think of it, her sister's in peg city, but it never occurred to me that she could be in my Ontario. That was icing on the cake for me.
And well, that was the reunion, of course I mentioned I met Bobby so yeah, am happy and girl it was a pleasure, when next you're in Toronto, we'll hang!

Ok, so on Thursday major bad things happened, I got a disheartening email about stuff that I did, got me freaking, and just then I got a phone call from a job interview telling me there could be trouble and everything else in my life was just crashing, MAJORLY. Anyways, I was so sad, if I hadn't lost my tear ducts I would have definitely cried, if I hadn't given up alcohol I would have drunk. I did smoke some cigars, and well, I should say SMOKING is not my thing.
I took a walk to buy smokes, and I looked out my balcony and it seemed like a good idea to you know, JUMP! AH! I won't say my life has been great but it has not been bad, and I just thought there was no hope for me. I logged on to JennyC's blog. I've known JennyC for a couple of years now, before she started the telephone ministry and all, she has always been a model Christian to me, so I went to her blog right away, and it was like she was speaking to me in that particular post . I quickly called God on his emergency line, told God to TAKE CONTROL, and I slept, woke up and I felt a whole lot better :)
Anyhow I thank God I got the job I was scared I wouldn't get, and everything else seems to be sorting itself out slowly but surely, and I know God is in control.

Uh this weekend is THE WEEKEND....TRALALALALA GAY PRIDE PARADE on Sunday, and I absolutely can't wait. My half naked men, total eye candy, crepes on the streets, DJs spinning electronica, cute rainbow flags what more could a girl ask for, oh yeah free CONDOMS and no traffic on Yonge street. You know they don't even close down Yonge street during Caribana, but they do for pride parade. Sometimes that could be frustrating, I remember my mum's 50th birthday, major blockage cos we live just off Church and Bloor, and well, getting out of the house was sickish and getting around downtown was even worse, it was the one time I hated PRIDE PARADE but am so feeling it right now.

Ok tell me am not the only one that has noticed the new trend of people having kids before getting married. I don't know, me personally I don't think I could have kids with a man without marrying him, the way I see it, sure accidents happen but if we are on the route to happily ever after anyway and you plan to stay with me, it won't be a totally bad idea if we drive up to the courthouse one day and get hitched. I'm just saying. And if you're not sure a man is for you and you are carrying his baby....IDEA IS NEED.

2007-06-14T19:49:00.000-04:00

ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE

Not the religious type, I love God and talk to God everyday and watch him work wonders in my life, but God is ABOUT TO DO IT. You know the big miracle, the miracle of miracles. Kai, God said it'll be ok, I know it is ok, I asked and it is done. ALLELUIA

I just love that I have a father in heaven who's always there to listen, he takes the baggages off myshoulders and helps me get comfortable. I feel like a preacher but I'm just gyrating to God's love. He's my daddy and he gon fix it, he gon fix me, In fact he has started and am just going to dance and look out my balcony and tell the devil that he is a liar, I ain't gon jump, I've never thought about it and I WILL NEVER THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!! WHOO.

On Eagles Wings
You who dwell in the shdaow of the Lord

who abide in His shadow for life,say to the Lord:

'My refuge,my God in whom I trust!'

And He will raise you up on eagles' wings,

bear you on the breath of dawn,

make you to shine like the sun,

and hold you in the palm of His hand.

The snare of the fowler will never capture you,a

nd famine will bring you no fear:

under His wings your refuge,

His faithfulness your shield.

And He will raise you up on eagles' wings,

bear you on the breath of dawn,

make you to shine like the sun,

and hold you in the palm of His hand.

You need not fear the terror of the night,

nor the arrow that flies by day;

though thousands fall about you,

near you it shall not come.

And He will raise you up on eagles' wings,

bear you on the breath of dawn,

make you to shine like the sun,

and hold you in the palm of His hand.

For to His angels He's given a command

to guard you in all of your ways'

upon their hands they will bear you up,

lest you dash your foot against a stone.

And He will raise you up on eagles' wings,

bear you on the breath of dawn,

make you to shine like the sun,

and hold you in the palm of His hand.

2007-06-12T22:46:00.000-04:00

TUESDAYS WITH MAMARITA

Today is Tuesday, I had a job interview today, the lady that interviewed me was a phenomenal woman, and I felt that I did great with the interview, I seriously doubt I will get the job, the reason being, the moment the "boss lady" saw me she asked the lady whose job I would be doing to interview me and even after smiling and batting my eyes at her I realized that all was lost and I might as well had just left with my head hanging low, but I didn't. Perhaps it was the little "allowance" on my skirt, or the radiant lady that interviewed me but I was so confident in my abilities I told her I didn't think I would get the job although I felt I was the right person for the job but I liked her attitude. She smiled, I smiled, shook her hand, thanked her for her time and graciously walked my slightly smaller waist out of the office. I'm still job hunting and something tells me the perfect job is just around the corner waiting for me:)

I love Robin Thicke. No wait. I LOVE ROBIN THICKE. Did you hear? The guy just helped me through a gruelling SQL session, I wonder why am learning to code if I want to leave my IT past and pursue a future in Technology Innovation, I don't know why I do these things, I really don't I know I'll soon figure it out, but ah....

I started my own version of the Kimkins diet yesterday, I watched my carbs a bit in March but April and May were awful months of sacriligeous chocolate binging and I fell off the wagon, you know finals and all, and well I did the travelling thing in May which was fun, especially the crocodile eating part and meeting Willie Chinyamurindi and buffet breakfast but yeah, that attributed to my falling off the wagon. But as of monday, I've survived on less than 25grams of carbohydrate, and although its tough am learning to deal, as long as I chew gum I know I'll stay alive :)

I know its just tuesday but let me just say I can't wait until the weekend, its the Naija Reunion in Toronto, first of it's kind, like EVER. I mean sure we have barbeques and "mo gbo mo branch"s in the summer but this is like the big KAHUNO, of course before my event in AUGUST! I'm so tripped, I can't wait, I mean I finally get to meet BOBBY, its been like 4-5 years coming? And all those Torontonians that I haven't seen since the time I was a parambulator...WOTTTT

I have finally given into temptation and joined in the new blogville pasttime BLOGVILLE IDOL So many talented performers, although I think Naijadude should be voted off as soon as possible, his singing should have been a medieval torture method and I say that with love. He can dance, he can dress, heck he can turn the world around with his smile, but he can't sing, and everytime he sings, I die a little. (thats for making me beg) I wonder why I didn't find out about the blogville idol earlier but am definitely loving it at the moment, props Pink Satin and Ms Opeke , you ladies rock! TLK FOR PRESIDENT!!!! :)

You know how you get that feeling of anger and you rush vent but somewhere between the walk home and the computer, you calm down, I HATE THAT! I finally remember why I was supposed to rant. So I went to pick up my invitations today from the printer and I'm sorry, some people take stupidity to a whole nu level! We picked the cards from a catlogue, showed it to them, gave them all the information we wanted on it, nice white card with gold edges, we left them to it, we go to pick it up and we have folding cards. The cover has all the information, and you open the card and there's nothing inside.

*excuse my french, *

WHY THE FUCK IS IT THAT I OPEN MY CARD AND THERE'S NO FUCKING INFORMATION INSIDE, I'M SORRY IS IT SOOOOO DIFFICULT TO PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE AND ASK ME IF I WOULD LIKE ANYTHING INSIDE THE CARD, IF ALL THE VITALS ARE ON THE FRONT COVER WHY DIDN'T COMMON SENSE COME TO PLAY TO DISCERN THAT THE CARD WAS MEANT TO BE A ONE PAGER, I COULD HAVE SWORN I SAW IT IN THE CATALOGUE WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT A BLANK SPACE ON THE INSIDE OF THEIR CARDS AFTER ALL THE INFORMATION HAS BEEN TRANSMITTED ON THE OUTSIDE, ITS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE IS COMMON SENSE AND AM NOT VERY SURE YOU HAVE IT.
AND THE DATE OVERLAPPED. IF YOU CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN IN BUSINESS FOR SO LONG AND SOMEONE CENTRES THE INFORMATION ON AN INVITATION CARD YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THE DATE NEVER EVER EVER CONTINUES ON THE NEXT LINE, YOU MOVE IT TO THE FUCKING MIDDLE AND IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT, PLEASE DROP BY MY APARTMENT AND JUMP OFF MY BALCONY, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE FOR YOU TO LEARN IN LIFE.

And thats how I felt when I left the printer's shop :) I feel a lot better now that its out there, and am going to bed.

to the person who asked me why I don't get angry, now you know why........

2007-05-25T16:50:00.000-04:00

ROAD RAGE AND THING..

Some people need their legs shot at, no, they need their legs broken, they need someone to give them a good old beating and teach them the rules of pedestrianism. These awful people take their stupid walking habits behind the road and that is what gets me even angrier, sure we can avert danger by foot, hiss and bump into the fool as you pass them, but who wants to scratch their cars?

I hate downtown this time of year, every Chris, Tom and Laura's taking a walk with their brains in the fridge of their houses. So I'm walking, I'm almost late for appointments, had to pick up drugs, pick up cards, cash money and head to my "beautician". I gave myself just enough time to get to the pharmacy smile at the counter lady, call the dr and BS my way into prescription for the King and Queen, but out of no where this fetuses just like crowded the road, they were probably on their grade 11 religion retreat (the one where they go to that run-down church and talk to the former gigolo). And they're walking with some biker guy, and they take over the whole fucking route, like what the fuck, taking tiny baby steps, you see me with my shades, no smiles no earrings, am behind you almost exhaling for you and it doesn't make sense for you to path with your friends? I was so angry, I almost ran into a car escaping the idiots, I couldn't bring myself to say excuse me anymore.
And then there are the stupid jumpers, I get that sometimes you exit a store right in the middle of traffic, if you were on the highway, you'd automatically drive to the speed of the other cars, so why is it that on the pedestrian route, people merge and then slow down, like seriously, if you're doing the walking thing for leisure, buy someone to wheel you around and practice walking in the comfort of your living room.
And don't get me into those that walk five minutes, run into their friends and rather than "parking" their legs to the side to gist, stop in the middle of pedestrian traffic to gist. May God gimme strength.

That being said....My friend Kat and I as with many of my close friends have an understanding as to how our friendship works, to remain close friends we must separate ourselves from each other, and return and separate and return. And that has always worked for Kat and I, in fact these days I only see her in the summer, apparently in the winter the 4'11 lady, tries to stay underground to hibernate.
I hardly see Kat, we are still cool, and if I were to be in Toronto all week next week I might not see Kat till mid June, so why is it that Kat decides to want to hang out with me before I leave for Kenya tomorrow. Why Kat why? I'm not mad or nothing its just wel,l my dad is asking me to come to Nigeria after we're done in Kenya and I haven't been in a long ass while and I haven't gone partly because I'm afraid that once I go I won't be allowed to leave, and although Nigeria is home and everything tastes better there especially party rice.... UHMMMMMM, I'm not ready to go live there, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever live there again. I can't say I grew up there, or know my way around and if there's anything I hate more than being dependent on people, it's people telling other people that I depend on them. I just want to pull my hair out.

So darling Kat, my little bitch *thats right Sundae she's my bitch not yours but mine* I'm gone a fucking week, maybe 2 at the most, but I'm insecure about going already and you're just adding to my fear and wanting to spend the last night before I leave, where were you when I was leaving for Germany, you didn't say goodbye then, and where were you all those times I'd gone to "places"? I'll be back and we'll watch "the movie" and play but if I get one more message with a sappy goodbye.......I'm buying a BMW STATIONWAGON!
muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2007-05-23T07:20:00.000-04:00

Ok there's a movie out there and made me think about suicide yesterday, if the movie industry actually saw the movie, it would be banned for GOOD. I don't think I want to say the name of the movie, but I will say this, the acting was HORRIBLE. It takes me back to Kat's Debut back in 2003, we were lounging at my old apartment, I don't think we drank that day, and one of the guys (Gabby I think) decided that we should make a tape for Kat's debut. And so we did, you know being the geniuses that we were with a camcorder and lots of commercials that we found funny at the time and of course Theo in his directorial debut. We did the Bavaria girl stripping, the lost contact with a pinoy accent. And lots of other things I'm not sure I want to remember.
We had a blast, and our little tape with our amateurish act and camcorder would get an oscar nod if it ever got submitted with the movie that I saw. The story was so messed up I am not sure I can tell the story. Oh, so we thought Nigerian movies were bad with over acting, the actors of the said movie, don't know what acting is.

One scene I remember, the man saw a picture of a lady, and his wife was telling him who she was and he took the picture and said some lady was dead, and the lady goes after him LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA and is like "who is she" and the guy is like "Let me be woman" and she is walking behind him as he leaves the room, saying "why will you call the woman's name, you must tell me" and they are following each other...Please let me add that if 10 year olds were to read the script with no emotions whatsoever, they would probably have done a better job :) The movie was BAD. I prayed that it would end, and it never did!

I watched part 2, and what I think happened was that a young Ghanian lady bought a baby from the black market at 22 to keep a man and then she moved to Canada so she wouldn't be heard of again and the guy she tried to keep turned out to be the father of the girl that she bought. They stole the baby at the hospital from this 17 year old girl who somehow ended up in Canada as well.
So the stolen baby is all grown up, she lives in Canada and somehow ends up in Ghana, (am guessing somewhere in part 1 the girl might have figured out that her parents weren't her biological parents, but what the writer forgot is that, the father is the father, the mother is fake, and how can a man deny one woman just to marry another woman who he wanted to be pregnant!!) While in "Ghana" she's at a house party, meets a guy who takes her mom to his mother or something, sha the boy's mum was at the hospital the day the girl was born, they were in the same ward. (apparently at birth you can tell what a girl would look like even when she's wrapped in a blanket and you're screaming in pain. Now we know that the boy and the girl are agemates right, the boy is 14, and somehow the boy and girl sneak into the hospital to steal birth papers of the boy...Why? HEAVEN KNOWS.)
The mother that bought the baby at 22, shows up a girl's house, *I guess it would be a good time to say Joann is the girl that had a baby at 17 and got kicked out of school and somehow ended up in Canada* So the mother is at Joann's house asking her to leave her daughter alone and then Joann packs her things and is about to run away, when somehow the daughter calls the father to let him know that Joann didn't die and somehow he knew where she lived and went to her house to look for her just by checking the YELLOW PAGES!!!
APARTMENT BUILDING MY PEOPLE
Bad acting, more bad acting and somehow a stranger offers to take Joann to the airport and she gets kidnapped and then more talks with the mother, the 14 year old girl comes back home to her mother, ignores her *this girl is supposed to be 14* runs to her dad and tells her dad everything that's going on. *Remember though that the girl's dad already went to Joann's house before the daughter's return from Ghana*. Suddenly the girl is in the car with her friends, the father goes back to sleep, the mother is on the street exchanging money with d hoodlum that kidnapped Joann.
BAD ACTING, BAD ACTING. And then the mother ends up in her room writing a letter about how she bought a baby and came to Canada and she's sorry for all she's done and she's about to kill herself when a call comes in that the kidnappers have her daughter and Joann, then the mother makes her way out there and wants to shoot everybody.....UHM Then a gun shot goes off, and all we see is a woman squeezing tomato on her chest!!!! YES I SAID TOMATO. And thats all I remember, because my hair was done and I left HELL.

If you think my story telling is bad, try watching the movie, the actors didn't sound Ghanians and even the ones that did had that fake accent undertone going on. You know the one with the tongue twisted, teeth clenched, voice sounding like a one string guitar gone awefully bad. I know am not a movie director and there's a whole lot of hardwork involved with that, but truth be told somethings are just not worth it, like this movie, it wasn't worth all the hardwork that probably was put into it, unless none was put into it then it will all make sense....AHHHHH

2007-05-18T00:45:00.000-04:00

THE ONE ABOUT THE STUPID PEOPLE

I totally believe that having a brain is no longer a prerequisite for jobs these days, trust me picking at your scabs does take a tad bit of brain activity but in my Canada, you don't need a brain, just bullshit right, fuck the right person and suddenly you have a great job with benefits.
Exhibit A:
My resume fully states that I am in College, and some nitwit tells me that the job which is being offered requires a high school graduate, if I didn't finish high school, or have some form of high school finishing diploma, how the fuck would I have gotten into college?! SHITTTTTT

Exhibit B:
Am at the chicken place, I get the eight piece, I tell the man, half spicy half recipe, because my friends don't do spicy. So Mr. Chicken seller man, gives me 8 piece chicken, in the same box, no way to distinguish the chicken but by smelling, and I always thought half of 8 was 4, but apparently, its 6 and 2:) Then again I expect too much from people

Exhibit C;
I'm at FedEx, I explain my situation stating that I've never used FedEx to send anything before, and the next question I get is, DO YOU HAVE A FEDEX account. How are you supposed to have an account if you've never used the service before. I can't have a costco card if I've never been to Costco. SHYT! shitter than shit! So fucked up, I want to fucking puke, and today wasn't even a good day..... Too many brainless people to continue, I got to a point where all I did was smile to save from yelling

I always wondered, are we to blame for the irresponsibility of cab drivers? I'm getting obsessed with cabbies and I don't even know why. I mean seriously, is it really the cabbie's fault when a drunk mofo pulls him over at one of busiest intersections, its an opportunity to make money and well, when I'm doing my job screwing my boss for a raise, sure his wife might be pissed but its all for the greater good you know what I mean. (p.s. its wrong to screw your married boss for a raise....unless of course he's married to you, then its all GOOD)

Oh my God, so before I saw Grey's I'd heard too much about it, Abi had called my mobile unceasingly to find out what I thought on the topic and well, I was expecting too much from the show emotionally, but I will be honest, I shed a tear at the end of Ugly Betty and I was just in shock at the end of Grey's. Why the fuck didn't burke and yang get married? Oh my freaking goodness, they're perfect together, she loves him in her own way, he gets that and he understands that he is supposed to do all the "love" work, but she doesn't ask too much of him, and they're a team, you know, and just because she said "I THINK" he walks off....Does that mean there's no such thing as the perfect man, you know the mess of a man who's screwed up but that you so completely get? AIYE! I'm so full of emotions, I could cry, if I had the energy, but I'm saving the tears for .....something.
And everyone suddenly hates izzie, I don't know, I'm indifferent to her existence, so she loves George, and George is married, and she keeps breathing down his nose, I guess thats what love is supposed to do to you, if you choose a person and you find yourself looking elsewhere, maybe you got married for the wrong reasons.

I feel a lot better. I can't wait till Monday night, HEROES SEASON FINALE....Trala lalalalalala ladida!

2007-05-07T00:54:00.000-04:00

THE GAME AND OTHER STORIES

I didn't sleep last night, I was up till 4 watching COUPLING season 4 and didn't see why I had to sleep for two hours before heading to church so I didn't sleep at all.

And weirdly I'm not feeling overly sleepy. UHM....

So today, Glen walks into Lynch hall and proclaims I LOST THE GAME! Now you might be thinking, what the $@$%T#$%^@%@? Oh yeah I did too, till I got the premise of the game. Apparently everyone is in on this certain game and every time you remember the game you lose the game until you remember again then you have to scream out loud I LOST THE GAME. Ok it still doesn't make sense, but am fascinated by it, and this is how I understand it.

10 friends get together, the loud one goes; "OY B lets play a game" and everyone's pissed drunk right, and then they're giggling, reaking of vodka and tabasco sauce, mascara running down some of their faces, hair all flat from the heat, and they go "sure let's play". And the loud ones tells them the rule:
" The point of the game is to forget that you are playing the game and the moment you remember the game, you've lost the game and must thus exclaim out loud I LOST THE GAME, making everyone around you remember that they're in the game, thus loosing the game".
And everyone giggles, at first they find they're loosing their buzz and all that information is too much and they find themselves yelling I LOST THE GAME, and giggling. Come the next day, suffering from the supposed worst hang over ever, they don't remember a thing about the gathering, and they're hoping they didn't make asses of themselves the night. A few days pass, no one talks of "the game" and suddenly, short term memory meets alcohol/might be a dream memory and unsuspecting listeners only hear I THINK I LOST THE GAME??? And they all get so angry with the recovered drunk and there you have the game.

I only hope I haven't ruined it for everyone :)

Life as a cab driver

Have you ever thought about being a cab driver, I mean like woah, imagine the things you'll see, hear, those people do a lot of work, not just driving around. So they pick up a client, and their very first prayer is that the passenger isn't a serial killer, wouldn't run away with their money, puke in their car and would at least have an address.
And then the first prayer is answered, the idiot didn't yell FOLLOW THEIR CAR, now the cabbie must decide, should I mind my own business or make conversation.....If I do I might get a tip, if I don't I might not get one. And then you start to talk and you pray to God that the person doesn't find you repulsive.
On the other hand, the passenger might shut you up, and then secretly you thank God.
Now you pray that there is no traffic, lets face it, the cabbies don't make the traffic, but the passengers always think its their fault that they're stuck in traffic, no one sends people to "taxi driving school" or nothing like that, I sometimes wonder how some of them get their licenses but eh.....I don't know if I care:)
And then they've tackled the driving, they've tackled the dead air/conversation, and then they get to the destination and they want to crap in their pants, is this person going to pay me, or are they going to kill me.....

I guess I should say I might understand cab drivers more now, they're the worst drivers in the history of driving, they have no regard whatsoever for the rules of the road, and I've seen them be close enough to causing accidents with their radical driving, abrupt U-turns, rough cuts and what have you, but I guess its part of the job, if they leave their houses every morning not knowing if they'll come back home in one piece:(

2007-04-30T02:13:00.000-04:00

LIVE FROM MONTREAL

So I've been here for like 3 nights and 2 days and I must say the city is not bad at all, granted am envious of them bilingual people, I suppose its the same way people get when I suddenly start speaking Yoruba or break into pigdin English without warning. I feel pigdin English should count as a language on its on, sure there are different dialects, but the one generally spoken by Nigerians/ Sierra leonians is understood by Jamaicans and Ghanians, so like what is the problem? Its a language as far as I'm concerned and I'm for that reason I'm very fluent in 3 languages, TAKE THAT you English and French speaking Canadians.
The subway system was not too difficult to grasp, and the routes are pretty straight forward, and the city never dies, clubs open at 2 in the morning, and the men are pretty friendly when they stop you at 3:30am as you sneak out of your hotel room in need of a 24 hour grocery store.
I didn't feel very spiritually fulfiled with the Taize thing I came for, I didn't get the goosebumps or any other feelings, perhaps its because I lost some feeling in my leg, I don't know, but I'll lay the blame on the choir singing taize and the movement, we kept walking up and down in the rain and I don't know about everyone else but my hair was getting messed up. The sharing groups were great but you know how you just don't get into something no matter how hard you try to, I put myself into it, and well, I guess I shouldn't have :) NOW I KNOW.
Montreal is a great city, and well I see myself living here in the near future, or maybe I'll move to France....who knows. *sigh*
Perhaps, I should be in bed sleeping, perhaps I should stop reading my old blog....

The 7 deadly Mamaritisms

I got this from Joann wayyyy back when I liked my msn spaces.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Travel across 5 continents in two weeks on BUSINESS
2. Make a name for myself
3. Get married, stay married and raise a family
4. Get a PhD in psychology and be the hottest prof at Ryerson U.
5. Pilgrimage to Jerusalem
6. Road trip across Canada!
7. Buy my parents his and hers rolls royce

7 things I can do:
1. Dance
2. Make party
3. Eat and Drive *at the same time*
4. Cook
5. Play with a martini shaker
6. Take care of myself
7. Be weird

7 things I cannot do:
1. Do backflips
2. Play any musical instrument
3. Skate
4. Be patient
5. Dance naked in a forest
6. See a cute car and walk away without drooling
7. Fake emotions

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Scent
2. Eyes
3. Mental state
4. taste in music
5. Voice
6.Dress sense
7. Height

7 things I say most often:
1. Brilliant!
2. Tralala
3. Marvelous!
4. Such Fecundity!
5. Haha
6. Thats daft!
7. Oh my Godddd

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Chiwetel Ejiofor
2. Homer Simpson
3. Matt Dusk
4. Chris Noth
5. Will Simith
6. George Clooney
7. Stewie Griffin *so I like cartoons, sue me!*

2007-04-25T15:28:00.000-04:00

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE

My week has been very "eventful" up to this moment. Had an exam on monday, total waste of my day, apart from the coolness of training and development, I wonder why the course exists, I mean the professor was going through major issues, she was always late, sluggish, she probably had stuff going on but point remains the exam was a waste of my time and I would have been better off sleeping in my bed!
After exams, I get a call from Theo, we met up at mines, he made breakfast, that man makes the best pancakes EVER! Like WOAHHHHHHHHH. I know I was supposed to be off carbs, but it was exam season, I HAD to put stuff in my mouth and when I ran out of nuts and beef jerky, I had to do crisps, and I thought, a week off wouldn't hurt and if I were to get back on, I'd be better cos God knows I cheated the first month into my low card diet, but I did see results. Anyways the pancakes were goood. And we were planning a dinner for our friend toy-toy whose birthday it was.
It was just supposed to be informal pasta and meatballs, but theo was grocery shopping and we thought, he had to be there, and I felt it would be weird just having theo so I asked abi, and then we thought it would be weird if we didn't invite toy-toy's friends that we knew. Next thing we knew we were turning off lights, screaming surprise and moaning over great stir fry. *Did I mention THEO IS A GREAT COOK?*
Anyways, dinner rocked, it wasn't too hot, or too cold and before we had champaign in our systems we were talking innuendos and big packages. It was fun.

Jump to Tuesday, some miserable sod in my building has been drilling God knows what for the last two months, it woke us all up, I work all through the night, I expect to sleep during the day, if thats a sin then sue me and watch me go all Godfather on you. I had a bad headache decided to watch tv and guess what was on....yep. SPICE WORLD, If you were born in the 90s chances are that you do not know the spice girls.

I myself first discovered spice girls when their hit song "wannabe" came out. I was in Benin Republic at that time, we were having one of 'em end of the year events, it was my first year there and being the "seniors" we wanted something sophisticated to do for the school, the hall was beautiful and worth not, it was supposed to be a classy event, but then all the students had to be in their "afternoon" uniform. We didn't know that at the time when we called Sherifat from American International School to teach us a dance. She taught us the moves, myself, Yewande, Karen, Blessing and Sophie I think. All I remember is that I was scary spice :) I had my kit and all, and then we were told we had to perform in our uniform! We yelled, screamed, but knew we had to perform and well we did, and it kicked ass.

I loved the spice girls, I remember that first album, SPICE, we played it so much we had to re-dubb it and then start playing it all over again. Especially WANNABE, and when we got tired of dancing, we'd play MAMA and WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.
Sometime in 98, we were in the air and for some reason we were just hoovering cos there was no light at Muritala Muhammed, I don't know what it was, but I changed the channel on my headpiece and viva forever started to play by spice girls. I just started crying, till this day I associate Viva Forever to departure and loss. I cried so hard and I still can't tell you why I cried.
Ah spice girls, I remember 2 become 1 was the shyt back in the day, when people would have "house parties" and we were fairly young, but when things were going to go slow they usually started out with 2 become 1 and then moved to them boys 2 men "I'll make love to you". And 4 seasons.....
They attempted to come back in 2000 with that forever CD of theirs, I really like holler but I didn't go after the cd like I should have.

Ah how time flies, am feeling very old right about now......

2007-04-13T06:49:00.000-04:00

For Fictional Purposes Only

So you've waited for the moment when you'd hand in your final paper as an undergrad. You answered the last question anxiously, THIS IS LIKE IT! Pen on the table and you are done with being an undergrad, you of course know the next step, and no one else does but you.

You leave the auditorium, you spot him waiting for you around the corner with a medium iced cap from Tim Hurtons, its cold outside he has no gloves on, and he actually walked 3 blocks to get your favorite drink to you. You let him hold you in his arms as you grab your drink from him. ITS OVER! He sighs, you don't. You just take in his scent; the smell of fresh laundry mixed with childhood innocence and boyish handsomeness. After what seems like eternity, he grabs your hand and you walk home, an abstract 8 blocks from the business building.

You call "home" and confirm your departure information with someone's PA; everyone is officially expecting your arrival. No convocation ceremonies for you. No sir! You almost didn't get to finish but you pushed hard and worked even harder.
You hang up the phone, you watch him in the kitchen putting together some beef stroganoff, you walk up to him, hold him tight like you're never going to let go, like you never want to let go, your palms on his chest. He turns to you, kisses you softly on the lips. You look away. He grabs your face just in time, his oceanic blue eyes staring into the depth of your soul; he places his lips on yours again, this time you don’t turn away. You suck softly on his lips, move your tongue softly into his mouth. He grabs you tighter, as he wrestles with your tongue in his mouth. You want more from him, your body closes into his; he lifts you onto the counter *deleted scene*

When you're in love, time ceases to move, you want to stay in the moment forever but reality always has a way of taking joy away from you.

He watches you as you pack your things, he clearly doesn't want you to go, you don't want to go but you know that you must go. You promise him that you'll be back. The two of you take a moment for yourselves. He grabs you again and has his way with you, you let him.

He helps you park your things; you have less than 24 hours to go. You decide to walk around the city one last time, you remember walking around the city the first time with him and he seems like a habit you've gotten so used to that you don't know how to give up. He has become your cocaine, your life line, your nicotine. Oh damn, you don’t want to leave, even if it is just for a visit. You are loosing your mind and you know it, but you smile at him as you take time out at the city hall to watch the lights and other lovers walking around

Ma cherie, je t'aime beaucoup, pour maintenant, pour toujours
attendre pour moi
Parceque je t'aime

Your last night in the city.
You spend it, in his arms, you both cry, share some pizza, make plans for December, even though its months away. You laugh with him; you share your worst fears with him, some of your worst fears. You profess your love to him in ways that words fail to do, and you do it, again, and again, and again. Not for the pleasure but for the memories of the wonderfulness of his inner sex god! Only he satisfied your every need. You watch him finally fall asleep as day started to break, you watch his muscular body, lie naked on the sheets that you both picked out, the paleness of his bare skin, matching the blond hair on his head, and you picture those oceanic blue eyes of his that should be searching into the depths of your soul, now covered by eyelids.

As you drive to the airport, you want to stay with him, in his warm embrace; the city had been a terrible place until he came along. Oh that brutally freezing winter night, you were walking back to your dorm room after a long cram session forced upon you because your promiscuous room mate was doing unrighteous things to yet another stranger. You were matching home to tell her to move her whorehouse to a different location; your room was for sleep not coital activities. After all you’re black and African and if that wasn't something to fear, then you were going to have to talk to bleach your skin white. You were so ready to tell her off, if only you could see your way in the awful blizzard.
He bumped into you, furious you. The you that was tired of getting pushed around, but that you calmed down as he apologized profusely for not looking. Sure you blamed him when in fact it was your fault. He wanted to show just how sorry he was by buying you dinner, you tried to say No, but one look into his angel eyes and you muttered "uhn uhm".
He brought you to OAKHAM HOUSE. You'd never been there but you loved it, you ordered the day's special, and he was a nervous wreck, you didn't know what happened to the confident boy that asked you to dinner. You loved him, you loved his eyes, the way that he tried to find his words, the fact that he was a final year engineering student with lousy jokes from The Simpsons that you got. You loved that you two talked till Oakham closed and you walked to get "coffee" at Tim Hurtons and you talked till past 3 in the morning.
You loved that he walked you back to your dorm room, you imagined his lips on yours, and when he didn't kiss you goodnight or ask for your number, you ran after him and got his number and you've been inseparable ever since.

You smiled at him, his face still the same 4 years later. You shake your head in disbelief, he wondered why? You knew not because he asked with words but by gesture, but you never told him what thought was on your mind. You didn't want to leave him, you pulled the couple thing that you hated so much, you cried like you lost your money, and he was there for you. He made you promise that you would come back.

Ma cherie dans votre yeux je vu ma coeur
attendre pour moi

As you said your final goodbye, you walked slowly through customs. You are about to go through customs, you turn one last time to your love, you yell out I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. He starts to wail but manages to mutter ME TOO.

****************************

The moment you get off the plane, your entourage is at the Muritala Muhammad airport, waiting at the gates to receive you.
"Madam, we've been expecting you, how was your flight?" the PA says
You nod in her direction and throw your bag to the floor, but it doesn't hit the floor, it is caught by a young lady whose existence didn’t seem to move you.

As you walk with your entourage through customs, not caring for anything or anyone around you, your mind goes back to the lover you’ve left in Toronto. You wonder if he would show up, you wonder why you had to return so soon, you wonder if you should keep walking or run back. You walk straight past the luggage pick up area, stress free.

You arrive “home”. Without civility to the available help, you match to your wing of the huge villa to freshen up. You start to undress when someone knocks on your door. You spring off your bed as if by clockwork to the door. And there was, looking as good as the last time you saw him, but you didn’t feel the same thing you felt the last time you saw him, your heart doesn’t beat like it fast like it did before. You let him put his hands around you but you didn’t feel safe, you are back to be his wife, but your heart belongs to the man you left behind.

2007-03-29T01:59:00.000-04:00

Shoes and Thing

I have kept quiet for way too long but this issue has been bugging me for way too long. Women and heels. It is not by force to wear heels, I mean they're sexy and all, Lola once referred to heels as "two and a half inches of irresistible tubular sex", if that is so, why oh why do people still go about dragging their feet and slouching with heels. Its not sexy, its not appealing, its annoying and sloppy.

It bugs me, it makes me want to hit my head on the wall, that people take such fine instruments of sexiness and reduce them to uncomfortable foot covers. I actually do hear the dragging of shoes on the floor as opposed to the majestic click that one should hear and it makes me want to SCREAM OUT LOUD, pull out my hair and things.I once asked someone why they were dragging their feet in their heels, they responded that the shoes were heavy and uncomfortable. Why the hell would you buy something that is "heavy"? I understand the discomfort part, there's a cure for them, its called shoe pads and if you're into wearing tight shoes, you're probably used to the tight discomfort. And whoever said sexy = comfort anyways, its not comfortably bearing half your breasts, or wearing a tight short dress so why would sexy heels bring comfort?

And slouching with heels is just not attractive, I do not own too many pairs of shoes, at least not as much as I would want to own, but before I go out in my new heels, I break them in, I wear them and clean up my house, vacuum the floors, take out the garbage, sometimes I cook, dance, you know the basic things you do in your shoes, but most importantly I listen to my heels, if I'm shuffling too much I take the shoes back, if I get a clickity click then the babies are keepers. People tell me they don't feel comfortable in heels, if heels were meant to be comfortable we'd all walk sloppily. You think its easy to strut across a room with music in your head imagining flashing cameras? Heck no! But it is sexy, it is uncomfortable and it makes everyone see you as an object on display, not for touch but for sheer visual pleasure.

So ladies, if your heels don't click, and your backs do not straighten up when you walk in heels or you feel like you're going to fall, that you're not balanced on your heels, and thus portray that in your walk, look in a full mirror, walk towards it and away from it, do you look silly? If you do take off the heels try another pair, try a different pair, and if you are new to heels, start with kitty heels and platforms then slowly work your way up to spike heels, the world won't hate you for it, they'll probably never know about your progress but at least they'll find some sort of pleasure in seeing you walk :)

Its almost my favorite time of the liturgical year. PASSION WEEK...Tralalalala. It starts off with palm sunday which am going to miss *boo-urns*, and then holy thursday- the mass where the washing of the feet is done. I remember my "good friend" has this joke about the blessing of the oils (catechumen, annointing of the sick and confirmation). They carry the oils forward for blessing, as one person lifts the oil above their heads the reader reads the description of the oil. But people hardly ever listen so my friend thought it would be funny to bring up preparation H.
Anyways, I love the good friday mass at 3pm. It brings back memories of my alter serving days. The church would be silent and all the alter servers from all the masses would file in to the "runway" of the church, and kneel, the priests would lie on the ground, and every time I've seen that happen, I feel a "presence" in the room, an heightened sense of spirituality if you will, and I enjoy the service.
Cut to evening, when Pedro performs the mime of the passion of Christ. I've seen that passion for like 6 years now I think, I each time I watch the performance, its like I'm seeing it for the first time and I find myself crying after Jesus dies. I'll try to take pictures on friday, but Pedro (he plays Jesus) looks like the popular picture of Jesus that you see. You know the brown hair dropping to his shoulders, the beard, mustache and all, fabulous.
And on saturday, known as dark saturday, no masses are celebrated, I believe there's confession somewhere there, I'm not sure I remember, but then at midnight, Easter Sunday mass is celebrated. I love the midnight mass, everyone that I haven't seen all year usually attends that one mass, and the best part of the mass for me, is not the lighting of the candle that is so systemically planned, or the act that leads to the beginning of the mass, or the 1 o clock choir singing the canticle of the saints *which I really do enjoy*, or the break during mass, I enjoy the mass because I get to see all my friends from way back when, for some reason I find that Catholics fulfill their holy days of obligations by attending the easter midnight mass. I can't wait for the week ahead.....

2007-03-20T20:44:00.000-04:00

Tuesdays with Mamarita

Six degrees of separation :

Life is too short to set out to seek revenge. The world is too round, too small, for you not to end up hurting someone close to you when you set out to “payback” someone for whatever it is that they might have done to you.

The world is too round, too small for you to hurt a stranger, a person that you do not know. The man whose eyes you pluck out of its socket today could be the same man that could have saved you from being a vegetable, if only you’d have let go, and allowed God to do his work.

Psh, who am I to “teach”. I love revenge; I wake up in the morning and plot ways to inflict pain on people, for sheer pleasure. I enjoy seeing fresh blood on skin, and the sounds of a person screaming in pain….uh….like very good vanilla ice cream melting slowly on a warm fudge brownie. That’s the old me, or at least the me that should die, so that a new caring me can live.

I’m the quiet kid that plots out a 5 year plan to destroy someone’s life and would just seat by their side and watch them suffer, while I smile internally at the ruins of their so-called lives. The same person that would tell them not to kill themselves, only because the pleasure of watching them suffer would end, yet would secretly wish for them to shoot themselves in the head with my only golden bullet carefully placed in their gun, laid nicely under their pillows.

When I have these funny feelings towards “higher animals”, I write about it in my journal, place it under lock and key because if other eyes should feast upon my words, their minds could want to carry out the actions that my mind has created and we’ll have a lot of blood and unnecessary suicides on our hands. And so I thank God for restraint, I pray that he would not let me down when I call on him for justice, so far God has not disappointed, it is just that many times, I don’t want to wait, I want instantaneous results, results that I can see, feel and talk about.

The Analyst:

I went for a job interview the other day for an analyst position, and they asked me why I felt I was suited for the job, and all I could come up with was that I live my life piecing together puzzles, finding glitches in everything, solving “problems”, and I am so engrossed to solving complex models with so little information that I no longer think in boxes but out of circles.

I hope they call me back its been almost 2 weeks, but I am so good at this life as a puzzle thing that it is phenomenal, I can say in good faith that nothing gets past me, every movement, every sneeze, every gesture is a clue for me. I guess that is why people say I know things about them even before they tell me.

I wonder how the heck I have time to study people when I’m so obsessed with myself close to the point of narcissism and yet I am aware of those around, perhaps in my obsessiveness in myself I have grown to realize that I am part of a whole and to fully be the self I must embrace the whole?! Uhm……. That is my thought of the moment.

Other randomness;

Matt Dusk is still very hot and alive, he’s on tour in the United States if anyone is interested, I saw a short clip of one of his concerts and I think God is great. How can someone with so much melody, lack rhythm? It just does not make sense, he sings so well, his voice goes well with music, he’s got rhythm in his music but home boy has no dance rhythm and I find that to be a very attractive feature, as weird that that may sound anyways……

I think I can officially dim Matt Dusk MY FUNNY VALENTINE, his looks are not laughable, he is very photographable and he should not change a thing about himself, he is wonderful just the way he is :)

I am so feeling Robin Thicke, I spent all of last week mopping, and the only thing I had going other than my family was well, THE EVOLUTION OF ROBIN THICKE, I don’t know what possessed me to get his cd but I sooooo love it and I might have scratched it already because it was constantly playing in the car as I drove around in circles.

I have so many random crushes and after a week or two of crushing, the feeling dies off, and the object of my crush/twinkling eye just goes back to being a person and I am back to being me, no twinkle in my eye for whoever the crush was, and recently all my beloved crushes are coming back into my life with twinkles in their eyes, and I am from the school of thought of not putting all my eggs in a basket, am sure that doesn’t make me a bad person.

If you are not into Jazz music, what the %#$^& are you waiting for? Jazz takes my blues away. I needed some jive this morning because I was feeling blue thinking about the issue at hand, and OH MY....Am I feeling fly some 8 hours later. God bless Duke Ellington for composing Sophisticated Lady. Oscar Peterson makes me proud to be Canadian, the man plays the piano like he was born with it, he should be the original piano man. I jived to "Night Train" and like that was not enough, God bless the child interpreted by Billie Holliday, Oh damnnnnnnnnnn "...God bless the child thats got his own, he just don't worry about nothing, because he got his own".

“ To be naked is to be oneself…..to be naked is to be without disguise”

2007-03-14T22:16:00.000-04:00

2 Tricks and a death.

I hear that we must always celebrate life, we must always be grateful for the lives of those around us because we don't know when they'll live.

Last week monday my dad was in surgery, and my mind was running all over the place, the man has beat all odds and lived, he's played chess with death a million times and he is still here, a little routine surgery shouldn't scare me but he did. He came home alive and well, and you know same old man I've always known.

I remember when he got the scare a day to his 50th birthday, the whole bank scandal was at its peak and they needed him urgently in Nigeria, he was preparing to leave when the Dr called that he must be in the ER or he could drop dead, so we all marched ourselves to the ER where he was admitted because they found Deep Vein Trombosis in him through the CT scan that was supposed to find the catalyst behind his cough. Anyways, after the dr waved his magic wand and called my dad a medical mystery, we all went home a day later, dad on the couch laughing as usual.
Did I talk about the time that he was sick for months during the whole coup d'etat with Diya and co, we were on our way to Abuja, and half way through dad just started throwing up, all the way to Abuja, we got a dr from the hotel and they later flew him to Lagos, after weeks of hospital changes and him getting snuck into the house for late night showers, all the while giggling, I had to go back to school he went to London and came back very well. Apparently, the doctors thought he was going to die, and there I was thinking the worst that could happen to him was the drip in his hand....My dad!

He is alive and well at home now, bubbling, obviously he is not dead! I just love him more.

When I was in JSS2, at Regina Mundi Girls Secondary School with my fav cousin bukkie, I remember one closing day like that, probably my last at the school cos I remember Tinuke Agoro dragging her broomstick legs to the door as we settled for lunch, crying that we could be in Lagos enjoying meatpies. Anyways, Bukkie's mummy came late for us she was just coming from my Uncle Segun's wife's burial. My Uncle Segun, I don't know him too well or remember seeing a lot of him as a child, but I knew what he looked like, he was my Aunty Yemisi's brother and that was good enough for me! He lost his wife to Lung cancer, she left behind 3 kids, a boy and two girls. Femi was my age, Nifesi a bit younger and the little baby that I remember seeing at Aunty Yemisi's wedding.
I never officially met my Uncle Segun's offsprings till 2002, I was in Nigeria visiting, and they were at our house for the Yuletide season, it hit it off almost immediately. Nife was mum's little baby, she'd run to her and we'd get all we wanted, she replaced Bukkie's cute charms and we loved it. We played, we fought, we laughed but we never got to cry because amongst cousins sorrow is non-existence. We made promises that we would visit in 2003 and spend Christmas together again, but then in March 2003, I got a call from my mum that Femi died.

I never got over that.

On Monday, I turned my phone off for the day by the time I checked my messages, my sister had a Vm for me, I couldn't make sense of what I heard, but I remember, dad, accident, unconscious, call mum. So I freaked and called my mum, my dad was fine my sister hadn't spoken to them. Then I panicked, who's father is unconscious. I managed to stay strong till I was about to get home and I heard the full story, my Uncle Segun was in an accident and unconscious. Just saturday he came up in our conversation about how he was so close to my grandpa and how my grandpa's death hit him really had.

I talked to God again that night, I put my Uncle Segun's life in his hand to wake him up, nice and spanking new like a baby but even better with fabulous adult features. Then I went to bed after talking to my tulelo. So why is it that my dad woke me up tuesday to tell me that my Uncle Segun died, leaving behind my two cousins?!

2007-02-24T04:13:00.000-05:00

On Sex

Sex is a beautiful thing! Unfortunately we spend too much time focusing on the exstacy that we forget the sheer beauty of it. When people talk about sex and loving sex, many people are unfortunately mistaking sex for fucking, and trust me there's a huge difference.
Yes, people talk about "love making" and I would explore that, but basically its the story of where babies come from. "Mum and Dad" love each other so much that they wish upon a star and a baby comes, thats is exactly what love making is...IMHO. How can I create that which I do not posess.
Anyways sex, beautiful, yes. Being a big fan of sex doesn't necessarily mean that you must have sex with whoever looks at you with genitals. No! No! No! No! research shows that self preservation sometimes enhances the pleasure of sex, something about satisfying hunger.
I enjoy talking about sex, in a discussion, not over the telephone, with genitals palpilating as if expecting some form of release from conversation. I like to talk about sex with people to gain their perspectives on sex, and maybe teach/learn a thing or two. I talk about sex, because it has always been a taboo subject in my time anyway, I remember when Salt n Pepa came out with the single "Let's talk about sex". Woe betide you hum that tune at my house around an elder, they'd have slapped the living shit out of you, and then some. But the lyrics of the song was actually educational.
Then there was sex ed, oh damn! In biology, we breezed through reproduction like it was the "unmentionable devil", and then condoms started to fly all over the place, girls were labeled bad for talking to boys, all those that pointed fingers back in the day......well, who am I to point fingers and judge baby mamas :)
Back to sex. What is the point of sex, why do we have sex? And most importantly, why is sex such a "huge" deal. When I make a new "friend" my way to acknowledging friendship, sort of accepting a person is through sexual innuendo.. A certain somebody can never say I'M COMING without giggling to herself. Thats just me being me. I love the unordinary, the different, heck gimme weird and I'll take it.
Sex.
What is there to know about sex? TONS! My curiosity began at the age of 14, I just realized that men who liked other men and liked to play with their genitals were “different” and that there was a word for them homosexuals, and that some women who liked other women and liked to play with their genitals were called lesbians. It took me back to my boarding school years, I knew girls who felt “urges” and acted on them and I knew people thought bad of them but I did not know why. If a girl was pretending to be a man with another girl why was she “bad”, to me, for one she was being safe not wanting to get pregnant and all and well she was getting the experience….SWEET DEAL! *I was never involved in such "acts", not because I wasn't offered but well, because I'd kissed a boy and knew what if felt like, didn't see why I needed to practise any further*
My very first time moving to Toronto, there was the leather ball going on, right on Church street, and there were all these men in leather things that covered just their penises, I thought WOAH, public display of saggy balls, and wham! A man kissed another man and the driver started with unnecessary profanities at the men exchanging spit. I thought that was odd, then my uncles came to visit and I'd hear words like "gay", "community" and things, it didn't take long to figure out that gay was supposedly a bad thing.
For months it bugged me, it haunted me, how could a man be with another man, women had fingers what did men have that allowed them to practice on themselves and if the driver man was cursing then whatever was happening was definitely bad. Long story short, through pop ups I found out about porn, all varieties of it, and I thought to myself, these things are very helpful tools for everyone. Now I knew where a man stuck it to another man, and what lesbians did for fun that was so bad, and of course I learnt about bestiality and am still not sure who has the fun, the animal or the human it can definitely not be both.

Well you all know what sparked my curiosity, “gay men on church street” but then after learning so much about sex watching clips online, I wanted to know more, so I started reading on sex from websites, I don’t remember the names now, I couldn’t talk about sex to anyone, and you know up to this day, I still do not derive pleasure from pornography, I always found it as an educational guide, then and now. I remember once, my sister, some insignificant thing and I were at home in broad day light watching porn once, my sister was doing laundry, the other person was fixing my hair and we were commenting on the techniques of the characters that we were watching, like it was just another movie. When I watch porn alone I am constantly watching for the pleasure attained from actions performed, and I ask two of my favorite men questions, and they have been very helpful in my sexual journey because with them, nothing is taboo, we cover everything from anal zones to G-spots and deep throatting:)

I was telling someone the other day that I am getting into biting! I guess that’s the most I can do when it comes to inflicting pain for pleasure. There are some interesting things people do during sex that brings them pleasure, I love watching KINK and BLISS on TV, and I’ve learnt so much about people’s sexual “indiscretions” on those shows, oh and Sex TV too. I found Sadomasochism to be very interesting, and just very recently I found out that it is actually in the family of BDSM (Bondage and Domination, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism). Yes, people in our time find pleasure in pain, degradation and submission. I don't know how being someone's pony brings about sexual satisfaction but I hear pony boy/girl is the new shit. Get your lover, saddle them up and ride on their backs, that is so perverted, it takes me back to the days when I was a kid and I rode on my uncles' backs...
And I am fascinated by how many people are into BDSM of all forms and shapes, I guess outside of biting I would do the candle wax thing *not on my body* but I don't understand how spanking could turn someone on, or something like piercing one's nipples and pulling them by the nipple, I would cry for days! People apparently love that, and trust me I've seen some bizzare BDSM acts
There’s a great book that covers BDSM that everyone should definitely read STORY OF O by Pauline Peage. I bought the book way before it made a comeback, I read the book and it did not make sense to me, I thought it was well written, I just wasn’t sure why anyone would enjoy reading about a woman who submitted to her lover, who branded her, chained her, watched as she was objectified, totally abused in every way of the word. Am a simpleton! But apparently the book was written by a French woman for her lover, to show him that she had a wild imagination?! If someone wrote that for me, uhm…….. I wonder what I would do.

Of all the bizarre sex acts I know of, my favorite one is Autoerotic Asphyxiation, I like the name itself, nothing more. People attain heightened sexual pleasure by suffocating themselves when they are very close to orgasm! WOW! The first time my friend told me of it, I thought nice, it sure beats good old suffocation, you know you want to put an end to your life, you decide to wank off one last time and just when you’re about to have an orgasm, in comes pillow over the head trick or for a more dramatic effect, paper bag over the head, then squeeze tight, the pleasure from the orgasm and the pleasure from the breathlessness is sure to leave a smile on your face for when family finds you.

LOL!

(to be continued)

2007-02-16T00:14:00.000-05:00

Love, Sex and vanilla ice cream with chocolate flakes!

I hate valentine's day, there's nothing special about it, actually there is, its the feast day of Valentine of Genoa I believe. I found this out when I was 9ish/10ish, all I knew about valentine's day was that we were supposed to tell our friends that we liked them and exchange "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY" cards. *all girls catholic school.......*
Anyhow, I remember the 13th of February that year *when I was 9/10* Sister Emmanuella barged into our class during night prep, called a couple of names, went to the next class, same thing, I noticed feet shuffling back into the hostel after lights out. With all the names that was called I tried to figure out what the "crime" was, it just didn't make sense. The next day during assembly, they were called up again *same kids from the night before* and they told us why Valentine became a Saint.
Sometime in the roman empire, to boost morale or whatever, the king was banning his soldiers from getting married and St Valentine's was doing it on the D.L. He was caught and warned but he didn't stop so well justice was done and he was brutally murdered, his bones were exhumed years later and he was beatified and February 14 became his feast day. He believed in love and thing. I hear that in 1969 the Catholic Encyclopedia of saints removed the feast day of Saint Valentine's because there was problems with confirming his bones in the catacombs.

Now why do I hate Valentine's day other than the fact that we've all forgotten St Valentine's who gave his life for love? Hallmark and the big corporations had a meeting and decided to use that which is dear to us to get back at us. Love, many of us believe in this "ultimate" goodness, the end all, be all, the beginning and the end. The foundation of all truth, pure, beautiful, unexplainable, feelable yet undescribable thing. LOVE. We are so consumed with love that we never stop to ask ourselves, what exactly is Love? Why do we love? Why do we want love?What do we gain from love? Is love the solution to all life's problems or just the beginning of all our problems? Love!
Hallmark and the big corporations decided to make us all want love, want to be with someone, want to find that which we lack and need in someone else. And that is why on valentine's day singles are sad, couples are blurting out I love you, because they feel it is what they have to be. Funny thing is, I feel people get hurt the most on Valentine's day, we made up a day for love.....that is 364 days worth of love is supposed to be expressed in one day.......and it is that day that is the most loveless of days IMHO.
Half the workforce skip work, you ask your friend to chill with you and they have "plans" with their boyfriends.....like they can't have sex with chocolates any other day. Love should be about caring for those around you, all 365 days of the year not just some measly day.
Am not completely angry, I just wish that along with taking all our money Hallmark would just lobby to make February 14 a holiday. Its all am asking for, I feel bad for all those children who have to carry ballons, roses, and teddybears that are twice their size on the subway at the end of the day, making their peers who are single to feel awful, to want to look ridiculous on the subway ride back home. And the workers who had just been dumped to have that day to stay home and watch movies their spoons deep in haagen daaz while their married colleagues well do whatever it is that they want to do, without making the single friends feel uncomfortable. Is that seriously too much to ask?

*to be continued*

2007-02-13T04:17:00.000-05:00

Toronto:

For a place to stay
with oppression at bay
For freedom to say
and the power to pay
For the opportunity of the day
and the weather not so gay
For the progress that may
and the success on the way
For the bricks of the new life I lay
and the high taxes I pay
"Thank you Canada" I'll forever say
-Jude Idada

So I was walking back from the bank, and I saw this, in the middle of eaton centre, just there like a smuggled cargo everyone's afraid to touch for fear it might contain poisonous snakes. And 3 out of every 5 people that passed by the box, well looked inside, and am thinking to myself. Maybe I will buy a volvo C30:)

Windows Vista was released into the market "officially" *we worked with VISTA sometime last year, I know I love my geeky friends too* And well, they built this little ICE HOUSE thing in the middle of Dundas Square, and served free coffee and hot chocolate. The ice house had a bathroom, you could seat on it and thing, I like the idea so much, I must go to the Ice Hotel next year with my lover....

So I came out the wrong subway exit trying to head to Festive Hall to get my "SLIME THAT MEN DO" book signed, I was late, about a day late! And well, I thought I'd walk back home out of who knows, and I looked up and saw the CN tower, it only felt right that I take the picture so I did, I think we'll call this.......bootleg CN

2007-02-04T02:10:00.000-05:00

ALL SMILES

So I checked my email today and got this:

Hey M

I appreciate your thoughtful and thorough discussion of my book. Some of the men in are in fact Giant A-holes that are just bad seeds and can't be helped. Some are just doofussess that just haven't learned how to deal with Women properly yet and could be saved.

Either or Its interesting to get your perspective on it and If you don't mind I'm going to link to your review.

I would only point out that however the stories strike people they remember that some of this pain is going to help other Women, as a portion of every book sold goes to The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.

Thanks again and all the best,

Wow! I was shocked,that the guy that compiled THE SLIME THAT MEN DO could actually take time out to read my blog and put it up on his blog thank you....and please be like me and buy the book because a portion of every book sold goes to THE CANADIAN BREAST CANCER FOUNDATION. Pass it to your friends, and their friends who have ever been hurt, when am sad I feel a little better knowing am not the only one:) Thank you Humble Howard. You made my weekend

2007-02-03T01:16:00.000-05:00

My friend always said where one man's freedom ends is where another man's freedom begins, and I'm starting to believe him more. So I got a summons letter in the mail sometime this week, and I went straight to bed to cry *I lost the ability to cry, so we'll stick to illusions of tears*. I was in a car accident in September, the car was a write-off, you know the whole guns and roses bit, insurance, ambulances, but thank God no one got hurt, although I still some pain in my neck but anyways......The guy that smashed into me while I was waiting patiently for the light to go green is taking the ticket that they gave him to court.
This man claimed that he was driving at 50km/h at the time of the collision, call me stupid, but at 50km/h you hit the bumper of car, maybe break a light, you don't take out the whole trunk, I still haven't figured out how to upload pictures from my phone but the trunk of the car was GONE, and it wasn't a hatchback! three out of 4 doors couldn't open, everything in the coin compartment spilled to the back seat, the guy was probably doing at least 120km/h in a 40km/h zone IN THE RAIN "negotiating a bend". Call me a bitch but that deserved him getting his license taken off for at least 10 years for starters.
He is my age, maybe a couple of months older, he didn't even come to see if I was ok, I'd understand if I was driving slowly or if I stopped abruptly but he had no fucking excuse and I am just angry, no not angry, am furious crossing over to thunderously murderous *if there's such a word*. He is obviously guilty of whatever offence they're hitting him with, I mean if there was someone in my backseat, they'd have died, I could have put in a wheel chair if someone else was speeding past in the rain, if I was crossing the road, he could have put me in a wheelchair for life or worse killed me. So that he is fighting the ticket gets to me. And its not his fault, its Canada.
They tell you that you can be free to do whatever, take a ticket to court waste tax payers dollars when you know you are obviously innocent. I wonder how good is lawyer can be to actually advise him to go to court, I will be there as a witness, although to be honest, I'm not sure I know what the man looks like and if am permitted I'll beg the judge to find a way to get the man behind bars for having the balls to try to fuck with Canada's precious gift of freedom. God cleanse my heart and help me to forgive but not when mo'fos like that idiot are still alive.

Anyways......Theo got a film credit for his work on xavier.....he worked on it sometime last year, he got to go to New York (again) and worked with Liam Neeson.....am so happy for him....he was the "costume designer" wheeeeeeeeeee. That made his day because he's been going through a lot these last couple of days, and well it made me happy too, I almost opened a bottle of champagne but then I realized that if I finished it by myself tonight, my morning I'd be getting a lecture on being an alcoholic, from the parents....

2007-02-01T01:48:00.000-05:00

Lerry kept me up all night:p and this is what I have to show for it

2007-01-27T23:27:00.000-05:00

So its almost the beginning of a new week and well what can I say this week went absolutely well, am happy indeed, the week pleased me beyond recognition. I finished two books by Laurel Hamilton in the past week, and all I can say is that the woman is AMAZING. I first discovered her in my first year at College, my friend was reading her Anita Blake series, and she was hooked on it like it was crack. So you know I went into the store, and I saw a new book that wasn't part of her Anita Blake series, they're about Meredith Gentry and I read the first book, waited 6 months for the second book, then stopped reading her for about 2 years, then picked up the third book because it was hard cover and on sale for like 4 dollars, and as soon as I finished the third book I ran into Indigo and bought the 4th book, I needed to feed on the story and I finished all 385 pages in 2 days. School suffered, work suffered, life suffered but am glad that part is over now.....I don't regret Meredith's life for a day but I should have stuck to reading a chapter a day.

Well, the highlight of my day was thursday. I'm in one of those elective classes where all my team mates have known each other since the day they started school, boo urns! Anyways, so am like the odd one out, which isn't too bad except that everytime we meet and we are discussing, they talk I listen (obviously) and when something has been agreed upon like what assignment to do, one of them makes it a duty to explain everything they've decided to do to me, s-l-o-w-l-y! I don't know wat to do its the third week and I find it amusing. I mean they've heard me speak, I sound like one of them save for the repetitive use of the word "like" and my sentences sounding like questions but you get the point. I guess I can't be one of them...even if I tried.

Anyways, after classes on thursday, I met up with Lisa, after like 3 years or so...fine I bump into Lisa once in 6 months, we were in 1st yr ITM together and she decided she didn't like the course anymore so she dropped it. Anyways we met for coffee and we're basically catching up and suddenly she remembers the "prostitute" she saw in one of her classes. I was like wow! They bring professionals into your sociology classes thats good...... But Lisa's like
"No Mary, it was a real prostitute, she had on skin tight leopard skin pants, and a backless top and all I could see was her purple bra, and she had one of thos calf length hooker heel boots and Mary...mary listen, she had on a prostitute fur jacket, that covered up to her breasts and the rest was just silk....."
I almost fell on the floor laughing
*the joke from my perspective is that well, she didn't see a hooker just a badly dressed student*

I like hanging out with Lisa, I remember her from Grade 11, we took drama together, fun times, she just absolutely rocks, she beats me in the hair section, everyone I know loves being blond but not my Lisa, she's a natural blond and I've seen her in every other color but blond. She once died her hair pink....like PINK PINK. She got me into Laurel Hamilton, she is one of those friends that I wouldn't talk to for months and years and I'd talk to her and it'd feel like I've been in touch with her for all those times that I'd not.

So I left Lisa, on my way I run into Liz. I haven't seen Liz since our final exam in OAC. We took accounting together, and we always yelled at each other, only out of love obviously. See when I first got into school, everyone was so nice and so fake, they never said what they really felt and awkwardness was the fresh air. By the time I graduated my "friends" and I could make jokes about ourselves and laugh it off, and curse each other off just for the fun of it. Liz was real cool, but I hadn't seen her since I left high school, so obviously we had catching up to do, you know who's married who's pregnant, how life sucks and Liz just looked totally matured and I'm proud of her, she's come a long way from the girl that had brown hair and wanted more, always dressed in black to this lady who was free and happy and just enjoyed life for what it was. Anyways, we talked for a while, she was late for her class and I headed to the crepe place on Queen street to meet the "forkers" for a mini-reunion.
I was sad Tania couldn't be there, and all the girls were there, including Denise W. Denise, I'll never forget, she's the epitome of cool. She takes cool to a whole new dimension, when we were in school Denise is what you could call a "godmother". She knew everything and everywhere, I remember her sister Debra was at our school as well, and when I first got there and we joined the African Carribean students association, she was nice to us, showed us around would stop us on the hallway to say hello. You know and she was like in her last year, cool as a cat, I thought that was wonderful. And then Denise was the one that took over my campaign when I ran for grad council treasurer, and I WON! She was running for President of Student Council as well at that time and she took time out to help me and even after I got in, she would advice me on how to get scholarships and stuff. So last summer when I saw her at Loblaws, it would be understandable that I ran out of the car and chased after her to say hello *after over 3 years* and invite her to my birthday party. She was there and since that time, I've seen her everywhere....COOL

Anyway, with everyone else, *save for Z that I see in church* we just don't get to see each other or make time for them, like we see each other on MSN and never say Hi and when we'd run into each other we'd lament about how we don't meet up often and should but don't. Yes thats what Canada does to you, it makes you stay home and wish to want to hang out with your friends.

So we had crepes, laughed, danced, whatever...and then we decided to go for drinks....OBVIOUSLY, we crossed over, I saw a chick smoking in front of Second Cup, I looked closer and she looked familiar, she starred back and I screamed....Thursday was my official reunion friday. It was Helen Mitchell....One of the greatest minds of our time, after Denise.

Helen Mitchell, was in my English Lit class in OAC, with Constancia, we were tight for a while, I was bad in the sense that I usually came in late to class just in time for Mr McGarry *our English teacher* to take home room attendance and send it down, he was always late with the attendance. I used to wait for Helen to mark her in and then take attendance down. She was always later than I was ...... and she usually leaves class right after attendance to eat or something...cool. And she passed with 90s! I saw Helen once after graduation, she goes to U of T *hiss* and she wants to teach, she wanted to be a journalist she was willing to give her soul for Journalism and she just suddenly stopped writing. Helen WAS a good writer, she wrote about her boyfriend one time on a rough piece of paper. I had goose bumps.

Thursday was a lot of fun and I like the company of my friends and I wish we'd make more time for each other.......Canada EH!

2007-01-15T23:11:00.000-05:00

The slime that men do

If you've ever had your heart broken, by a MAN, been dumped at a low point in your life when you needed someone to care, wanted to stand from Olumo Rock, naked under the pouring rain with a rusty sword, cursing at generations of a man who has hurt you.
If at one point in your life, you have tried to kill yourself because you've given all the love you've got to a man and he has thrown it all away and you have nothing left. If you have ever said out loud "He hurt me bad, and I wish he'd die". There's a book for you.

It is called THE SLIME THAT MEN DO

Its a compilation of true stories about women who have been hurt one time or another, I read two of the stories and am still in pain, got me saying Thank God, the bastard result of a leaking condom, utter waste of useless clay showed his true color and we no longer talk.

One of the women dated her "fiancee" for 6 YEARS as of 2001, had a 3 yr old kid with him and then they decided they'd get married, the lived in Toronto but went to Chatham, ON (3 hrs from Toronto)where the lady's parents for the wedding. Sha the story in brief is sha that, the man had married another woman in 1997 and they have an 8 month kid together, he went AWOL on the after noon of the wedding, and they found his car at the train station with a note, that he couldn't marry her and he'd told everyone from his side that the wedding was off......Can you imagine!!!!! WOW

The other story, I read. The woman was married for 23 years, one day she checks her email and her husband tells her the marriage is over and he'll come for his things soon! Can you imagine.......She said she cried for a day and sent his things to his mothers house the next day. OH MY GOD

That brought back memories of things that women go through with some men. I remember one friend of mine, this guy chased her for like forever, she was 18 at the time if I remember correctly or maybe 17, well the guy promised heaven and earth, he'd pick her up from my place, take her to his and she'd come back with stories of how he wanted to marry her, call her princess and all. Finally they did "it"...*lol* and that was it. She'd call all his eleventeen numbers he'd not pick up, like damn. That went away, she's moved on from that, she's been through loads. I remember some guy that wanted to get with her, talking about how when she was raped, she was just trying to get attention. Like what the fucking fuck?!

I remember another girl like that, kind hearted girl, dated one ballless mo'fucker like that, they started dating, guy had no job, was in school, she'd give him money and all, I understand he was broke and all. She bought him loads, gave him her time, her love, et la. Homeboy ruined her credit, she started working two jobs trying to pay debts incurred by boy o, her mother met the guy prayed for them would leave her car for them to do whatever, all that and the only way he could pay her back was to tell her to get the fuck out of his life. Like seriously. I mean she walks into his house there's a girl on his lap and they're doing the ish and the girl was standing there reminding him who she was. I mean it wasn't like they fought or nothing, he just was tired of her....I mean REALLLYYYY

I guess I haven't seen anything, one of my favorite ladies, I am not happy with some of her choices but am still very proud of her. Her story, she married her first boyfriend, had two kids with him him when one day, home boy packed his things and moved in with another lady for a couple of years. They didn't fight or nothing he just felt he had to be with another woman, didn't care about the children, nothing. And then walked back into their lives one day, just like that........

Three years ago or something, I was walking home from School *yonge street chronicles*, some lady stops beside me at the stop sign, I smiled at her, and she asks me: "Don't you think its funny when your husband leaves you for a bunch of lesbians and he discovers they're transvestites." Naturally I laughed because I thought it was a joke, but by the time I walked past her analyzed the way she was dressed I realized she probably was talking about herself.

I know tons of stories of women who have had their hearts broken by men and some of them have done extreme things to move on. The way I deal with pain is to think of other people's problems and remind myself that I don't have it that bad. My husband-to-be never walked off a few hours before our wedding, my husband never left me and his kids for 8 yrs to be with some woman, I never ruined my credit because a man, I don't think I've done the ice-cream thing or even stayed in pjs for days crying that some guy would come back to me, but people have been through that, and to them who think they have it bad read

The slime that men do its a really good book for people who've ever thought their ex-boyfriend was sent by the devil.

2007-01-13T02:07:00.000-05:00

I have been told that I say the meanest things to people in the most polite ways. Ok scratch that, I sometimes open my mouth and then realize what I have just said and you know how it is when someone curses you and you don't know they'd cursed you till they cover their mouth then suddenly the Peter Griffin effect wears off and you realize what has just happened and you feel terrible. So as a decent person, when I realized I've said something I shouldn't have said, I just look away like nothing happened that way the person that is being spoken to doesn't necessarily think I've said anything wrong.

I've always hated ignoring people, I mean we all know how it feels to be ignored, you're talking to someone and they just walk away, why not just pour your cheap drink in my face and call it a bloody day! Shhhhh. I remember my little sister in Lithuania (who I have to call...) was telling me about her one year in the States, people'd come up to her asking her how her day was, she'd open her mouth to start yarning *obviously* and they'd just walk away. Insolence! Off with his head....NOWWWWW

We are all guilty of rude misconduct one way or another, you know, me personally, when I'm on the phone and I can't hear the other person clearly, I hang up. Or when people speak with extremely strong accents or speech impediment problems I just tune off, smile and nod and not even bother taking the time to listen to what they are trying to say. Ok I guess I make up for it with the fact that I speak extremely fast sometimes, I used to stammer a lot as a kid and my mum used to yell at me or just walk away, I would think I should be more understanding. Well anyways.

So to make up for my insolence, I try to talk to people that no one else can stand, you know blabber mouths that don't know how to shut up and apparently its rude to tell them to shut up, and so people walk away from them. Not I, I find intelligent ways to tell people to zip it. The other day some kid was just going on and on at a meeting of like minds, and everyone else started shuffling and thing to get him to shut up, apparently I lack tact, so I stood up and asked someone to call me when the boy was done talking. He was quiet for the rest of the meeting, till today when I say hey to him on the hallway he looks away....Shio, like his face is on an important currency.

Of which, I live my life as a princess, ever since Diana died, I realized that I had to be more of a Princess, you know people are always watching you and being in the public eye is not easy, you can't really live life, you can't be free, drink as much booze as you want and wake up in your own vomit. (Ok I don't want that) You can't see a cutie on the side of the street and bart your eyes at him, if a young man looks at you twice, suddenly he disappears. At least one should be thankful they get to live a little.

And then you decide to leave your home country. You know what that means, treaties have to be signed with other countries that if something happens to you, heads must roll and war may start. And even though people tell you that you are free, you are not, you always have to look your best, God forbid you break a nail, its the end of the world as people know it.

I guess there are perks, you don't ever have to worry about anything because you are taken care of, it is unheard of that a King is overthrown and his family is thrown in jail and stripped of all their wealth and titles and oh God MAIDS!. I mean seriously the kingship thing is in the blood, its just there, you can't kill 3 generations of Princes/Princesses and their cousins. Unless of course your cousins try to kill you. No, cousins wouldn't be that devious, thats why we all played together as children, you know, at that time no one knew anything, a house was just a house and mum and dad just liked jewelry and travelling around the world and being driven in big cars was just because Daddy was special and Mummy was extremely pretty.
You don't even have to worry about getting your heart broken or falling in love, its all taken care of, a Young duke of noble parentage who you grew up with will one day fall on one knee and tell you how gorgeous you are and you'll have a grand wedding and live happily ever after in a huge house with lots of yard for the kiddies to play in. Life as a princess.........

It only sucks when I wake up in the morning:)

2007-01-11T23:06:00.000-05:00

So there I was looking through my past writings from when I had a lot of fire in the belly for writing and wanted to be the next Amy Tan with interesting stories that everyone'd want in their bathrooms and wouldn't wait to go take a dump so they could tease their brains with a little more "Life" by Mamarita. Oh yes, I wanted to be the next guilty pleasure, you know the chocolate you know you shouldn't have but steal at it when no one is watching yet pinching at it so it'll never finish. I wanted to write that book that the world would talk about but no one would know the end because they didn't want the pleasure attained from the book to end.....I wanted to be on everyone's book shelves in several languages.

(from the vault)

THE DANGEROUS LIVES OF NORMAL PEOPLE

Resting my back on my wall, feeling the cold breeze blow on my poor hand that has been condemned to this beast, a brainchild of Gates, whose price is being paid through hard work that I see as a trailer with a can of coke praying not to fall asleep while the rest of the world is preparing for another day of 6.45 an hour, while I shall proudly be earning a 6 digit paycheque. Yes the joy of aspiring to be an actress in the future while I be a nice ITM student and watch my father send me to days of tribulation, suffering listening to some cats make thousands, talk while I play on MSN. Life!!!!!!

Anyways where was I? Yes, my fingers are dead, but I have something important to say before I lay my wearisome head on my well fluffed pillow, ah yes, God bless Looney tunes for the creation of Tweety, what else would I cuddle up to after a long day’s work. Attention Deficit Disorder is the new thing in my dictionary. Yes I have diagnosed myself with it, yes there is no cure, why not just accept my fate and move on. No I wont blame my lack of enthusiasm when it comes to reading my books on me, it’s the ADD, I plan to read, yes I do, but when the time comes, I just forget to. Same for everything that’s important to other people. When I forget to post peoples’ letters for them because they find it a bore to take a stroll 2 blocks down the road, it’s the ADD, not my forgetfulness.

Enough about me!!!! What brought me to disorders? I know some people and I feel I owe them an apology for being myself. (Take a moment to laugh). Where was I, in this world every day at a certain time, everyone wakes from deep sleep and find themselves living lives they feel are NORMAL, going to their 9-5 jobs, look at the next person, find faults in them and find themselves perfect. It’s just the way of the world; it’s the way our brains have been processed. Love what is normal, condemn what is not. The boy in the gym looks cute, like a supermodel, you’re checking him out, he looks perfect then you go and introduce yourself, and you find out he’s speech impaired, and all of a sudden, he is the ugliest thing on earth.

The difference between my “disorders” and that of others is that, some disorders like mine are in my power to fix, while most people there’s nothing they can do about it, and all they want is a little compassion, a little understanding, and love amongst other human emotions. And we deprive them of it. I was walking home from school the other day and I saw this really gorgeous lady, and she was approached by a guy, one of those stupid town criers I wouldn’t pay a mind to, anyways…I was intrigued by her responding to the guy and I kind of watched them talk a little, I am assuming he asked for a contact information from her, she proceeded to take her hand that was hidden in her pocket out, to reveal she was missing 5 fingers. Ladies and gentlemen, this self serving bastard asked her not to worry and bailed, right on a major street!!!!!!!! I bled inside for this damsel that was willing to stoop down to the level of the street cat that later dumped her.

That’s just one of my interesting stories anyways. Human nature is to define normal and abnormal, to look at the disabled in a funny way, a way that tells them WE DO NOT WANT YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE MISSING A LIMB. A look that projects disapproval, I am judging myself today, I am slapping myself because I have looked down on two wonderful kids, make that three, I found them annoying, I wanted to shove hot rots down their throats and watch their intestines roast, then I found out, they were being friendly in their own “special” way, and now I want to fall on my knees and indulge in an eyes leaking activity but the last time my tear glands worked was ….I don’t remember. To all the disabled I have judged because they’ve not been like me, I APOLOGIZE. I WILL TRY TO TREAT EVERYONE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE AS MY BRAIN WILL LEAD ME. After all, we’re all human, all not perfect.

Now my week is almost over, and I am soon to travel, I’ll be publishing my DEDICATIONS soon, but before then, I would like to thank all those people that have been there for me, those of you that signed my guest book, told me I was an amazing writer, and those that keep coming back and critiquing my work, trying to make me better. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I started this little thing last year, after we started the fundance crew on a Friday. Now, I’m proud to say, one year later that FUNDANCE is happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-06T00:35:00.000-05:00

I don't know if any Canadians are interested, but tell your friends, tell your friends' friends, NIDO YOUTH is getting launched in Toronto, January 19-20th and yall are invited. I definitely will be there, especially since I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLY want to meet, have to meet, must meet Gbenga Sesan, The I.T. youth ambassador for Nigeria I believe....anyhow....tell your friends, it'll be a great opportunity to meet other Nigerian youths striving to make it in Canada, Toronto.....

That being said, the weather these days in Toronto is UNBELIEVABLE...Oh my goodness, today I had to go back home and drop my jacket, it was beautiful out, pure sweater weather in the middle of winter... Oh joy....I know I should cry cos of pollution, and the other cool stuff, but err.....I will probably raise my children in some faraway land, where civilization is being kept at bay, like North Bay. Oh well.....we'll all die somehow anyway, by water, by air, by road, or even by sleep, when death comes it comes, global warming/ozone destruction. oh well
Anyhow, something interesting happened to me today as I waited for my sister at Quizno's, people haven't seen my real hair in YEARS! I take braids off, I put a weave in, my hair is extremely thick and completely natural so yeah.....anyhow I was tying a cute scarf, I didn't look fly or nothing, just sat there enjoying my sandwich, wasting time before heading to the salon with the sis when some random stranger walks in the door, and takes a place beside me.
I have a terrible habit of smiling at peole when they look at me, where out of nowhere the random stranger that walked in the door starts talking to me, not trying to be rude or nothing, I take out my hair plugs, he asks me if I know am beautiful. Of course I think that I know that I am beautiful:)
And then he goes on to tell me that I am so beautiful that he would like to take a potrait of me eventhough he doesn't have a camera. I'm smiling trying to be polite, going WOAH! Then he goes on about how if he was to take the potrait, he'd have a black bird and a white dove, of course am smiling wondering why am having this convo with a random stranger, and then he's all like analyzing my personal favorite features of me. I was like WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wasn't tripping or nothing I just thought the stranger was a whole lot strange and he was definitely going to ask for my number when the impossible happened.
He said he thought I was beautiful and should not take crap from any man and that he knew that he was crazy but whoever let me go was el loco of the oddest sort.....I felt touched, and then he asked my name, and walked off.....Sure this is the part where the smooth talker walks off and the girl walks after him...For where.........home boy's nails needed A WHOLE LOT OF WORK, so I just sat down to my sandwich, and let me tell you, it was delicious and on sale and I loved ever bit of it.

If anyone cares to know I have a new addiction, his name is Adrian Lester from HUSTLE. He's so HOT, everything he touches meltsss (corny, I know)

2007-01-04T01:53:00.000-05:00

Happy new year all, the new year hasn't gone too well for me so far but I'm thankful for the good things I've gotten so far, God has been really good to me and I'm very thankful to God for all he has done.
In 2006 nothing major happened in my life worth mentioning......Ok that sounded awful, I met a lot of wonderful people online and I think I might have built some interesting long lasting relationships with some bloggers. I also officially stopped being "friends" with some people, less numbers to remember, but wait, I made new friends as well so they cross out in the end.
In 2006, my life flashed before me, my dad's life flashed before him, my mum got a gun pointed at her, my sister almost gave up on life but we are all still here today smiling, praising God, thanking him that 2006 is behind us.
People got married, people died, people brough new life into the world, I had a crush on one of my professors and although I no longer want to be caught under his desk, or on his table doing the spread eagle, I still want to learn from him.
2007 is going to be a fabulous year, I can feel it in my bones and I am mighty happy about that, oh yes it will be a year of fabulousness, dreams will be pursued, smiles will be brightened, and of course, the Glory of God will be seen again.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE.......

Tania, if you're reading this, well, you made me do it...

1. Would you marry for money?
# I’m really not sure what marrying for money means…….
2.Have you had braces?
#not yet, am getting them pretty soon
3.Could you live without a computer?
# I guess I could.
4. If you could live in any past time period where would it be?
# 5 years ago
5. Do you drink enough water?
# Part of my new year resolution is to get more water in… so I guess the answer would be no.
6. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?
# Take them off
7.What are your favorite fruits?
# strawberries, grapes, pineapples, apples
8.What is your favorite place to visit?
# Still searching
9. Are you photogenic?
# I have no idea
10. Do you dream in color or black and white?
# I dream in greyscale
11.Why do you take surveys?
# Why do people wear short skirts and long jackets that they can’t button in the middle of winter?
12.Do you drink alcohol?
# Err….yes (Tania, everyday is NOT “a special occasion”)
13. What is the most beautiful language?
# wow, that’s to toughie, I’d say Yoruba, but that’s just being silly. GERMAN
14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?
# uhm… yeahhhh
15. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?
# The more important question is, do I like the sun…
16. Do you want to live to be 100?
# Depends, will I look 20 and sexy?If so yes….
17. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?
# hell yeah
18.When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?
# Depends on how am with, but I like the lights dimmed
19. Do you believe in magic?
# I believe that by believing things happen.
20.Do you think you can draw well?
# No, I can’t even draw a straight line with a ruler
21.Do you like to watch cartoons?
# Totally
22.At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?
# I never thought Santa was real. I only know of my uncle kay that played Fr Christmas at my grann's christmas party....
23. Do you write poetry?
# Used to
24.Do you snore?
# I’ve heard that I do.
25. You sleep more on your back, front, or sides?
# my side
26.Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
# PODDLES.
27. Are you basically a happy person?
# Happy people are suicidal…..I’ve never thought of killing myself
28.Are you tired?
# somewhat, yeah
29. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?
# no
30. Have you ever met "the one" off the internet?
# that’s a complicated question I’d like to skip
31. How many phones do you have in your house?
# 2 landlines and 4 cellphones (I live with my folks)
32.Do you get along with your parents?
# When they’re not around
33. Do u smoke?
# no
34. If you're gonna talk to someone today, who would it be?
# my lovar!

2006-12-25T09:43:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

Its that time of the year again......BOXING DAY SALE!!! Wot wot....So my list this week is a car, an mp3 player, 2 black boots, and some pants, I am doing all my sleeping tonight so that tomorrow at 6am I'll be the first one at eaton centre SHOPPINGGGGGGGGGGGG. Ladida

I always wondered what Christmas was about anyways, when we were at church for the children's christmas mass, the kids were so cute and the Priest talked about how the manger for the pagent was built right below Jesus on the cross, and the kids pointed out that Jesus is born and Jesus dies just like all of us, he came to the world to die for our sins and on Christmas the greatest sacrifice should always be remembered. Jesus was born to die so that man's sins can be washed with his blood. So who is St Nicolas aka Santa Claus, and what the heck are reindeers and them Frosty the snowman, what role do they play in the greatest sacrifice, why do we give gifts, recieve gifts, celebration of the birth of Christ? Shouldn't those gifts be given to the homeless, the poor, in fact maybe next year I'll work a soup kitchen on Christmas, giving back to the world as I have little myself.

"The kids were so cute"
I remember when I was in boarding school in Cotonou, there were a couple of youngins between 4-7 at my school, Editha was one of them I don't remember ever seeing Editha's parents, I think she was an orphan, but I felt she was too young to be in Boarding school no matter how fantastic it was. And there was that child that spoke a lot of Yoruba, I don't remember her name but I still don't remember seeing her parents.
There were other young kids in there as well, at least those ones I still saw their parents, I remember Godini, he liked to be like one of the older boys, he'd tell his parents to leave whenever they came to visit, because the other guys didn't think it was cool, bless his little heart, I wonder where he is these days.
But most importantly, I remember Yemi, he was the cutest kid ever, barely 5 at the time and he was in BOARDING SCHOOL. Shyt, maybe he was even 4, I don't know, he was in kindergarten while I was in JSS2 and it just hit me yesterday after so many years that Yemi had a father and a mother but he spent his week with us in the hostel and the weekend at some other "home" for kids. His parents just sent the money and ignored the fact that the boy ever existed, and the father of this boy keeps procreating and what the heck is he doing with those children, and there are so many men like him that want children but haven't got the faintest idea what to do with them. ISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I hope Yemi is well, I hope he is back with his parents or at least at peace with the world around him, I hope Yemi and all those other children whose parents discard them because, well they can't be bothered with them and dump them in boarding school at a young age and never visit them realize that, it really sucks for the kids and it takes away from them. And I wish them all a Merry Christmas, and if people can't take care of their own children, then they shouldn't have them, many people are willing and able to take care of children but are not able to concieve. LIFE SUCKS WHEN YOU'RE THE LITTLE "PEOPLE".

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2006-12-07T00:58:00.000-05:00

When I write, sometimes I like to listen to Gregorian chants, I love the way Latin songs are sang, so slow, so soft, so heartfelt. I'm a huge sucker for Schubert's Ave Maria! Its so bad, sometimes when I hear it, I do the sign of the cross, and walk really solemnly. Ave Maria feels me with solemnity. I'm a believer of finding God in little things, you know in the way you walk, while eating, in giving to those in need, in bringing joy and laughter that sort of thing.
As a child, I used to love going to the dominican church with my mum in Ibadan, I like the way the church was built, the audience sits in a large circle and the altar is in the middle. I really liked it because of the Dominican fathers there, I loved seeing them because one time while we were in cathechism class, I caught a glimpse of them in a straight line, you know their brown overalls, rosaries hanging at the waist, roman sandals at their feet, humming along as they said the rosary. That for me is ultimate spirituality, being one with the creator through song while praising the vessel of the son of God!

Why am I going on and on about Gregorian Chants and Latin songs? I've just heard the most fabulous AVE MARIA! I don't know how to describe it, when Pavarotti sings it, watch him closely, you can almost see tears forming in his eyes, I once heard a recording by the St Micheal's Choir School, the little lead boy that sang the first part, brought me to my knees, you know you're walking down and suddenly the song on your MP3 Player changes to a soft young lad singing

Ave Maria Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Ave, ave dominus
Dominus tecum

You have to stop and acknowledge the beauty of the voice, praise the composer for the tune, and glorify God for keeping you alive to experience the joy of a young man singing an "older" song and doing it with so much life..........

Anyways, I thought I'd heard the best Ave Maria till my Gregorians did their own o.....I was literarily on my knees, doing the sign of the cross, and people although no one can say they saw it, tears were rolling down my cheeks. The Gregorians KILLED THE SONG, BROUGHT IT BACK TO LIFE AND PLACED IT IN THE HIGHER REACHES OF HUMANITY WHERE IT CAN NEVER BE CONTAMINATED....EVER AGAIN

Ave Maria - composed by Franz Schubert

Ave Maria
Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Ave, ave dominus
Dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus
Et benedictus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Ventris tui Jesus
Ave Maria
Ave Maria Mater dei
Ora pro nobis pecatoribus
Ora, ora pro nobis
Ora ora pro nobis pecatoribus
Nunc et in hora mortis
In hora mortis, mortis nostrae
In hora mortis nostrae
Ave Maria!

2006-12-06T01:40:00.000-05:00

TIPS

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8.Sometimes , we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

2006-12-05T21:59:00.000-05:00

The-o, The-o, Daylight gone and me want some pho:)

One of the dearest people to me is Theo. (Teofilus not Te-o like the french call it I hate that they call him te-o). I have so much history with Teo I don't where to begin. The first time I met him was at church, at a meeting, now how did I know he'd be in my life forever??? I couldn't possibly tell, I remember the moment I realized he wasn't "normal". We were having Youth Mass, and they were trying to get the choir together, and Teo just went to one of the microphones, with his torque on, looking like Enrique Iglesias and the mic was on, and sang "would you dance if I asked you to dance". The Hullaballo died down and everyone just starred at this "reverend" asking the same question. What the???????????/ And then we all fell in love with him.

Theo and I have been together for so long, sometimes he creates a language and I understand every word of his jibberish, I know its weird and am crazy like that but Teo is just dear to me, and I know I don't tell him as much as I should that he's one of my favorite "toys" but I know he knows and thats why I don't bother.
He is such a character, he has the weirdest stories, the most fabulous lines, and he is just an accessory to have around you when life gives you lemons, he squeezes out the juice and somehow gets the ingredients to create a fabulous margarita! Thats my Teo.

Stories:
* I remember the night I met L.C., she was with her friend Biola, Teo picked us up from the bus station after we dropped off L.C. and you know we had dinner with Biola who I was meeting for the first time, he had to ask how we met, and she was like, "Am meeting them for the first time". Till this day, every time Teo meets a Nigerian friend of mine (I don't have a lot in Canada) he claims I picked the person up from the Bus station.
He makes up the funniest stories
* I remember the time in Germany, I told Teo all year that I was going with his "little group" to Germany. Anyways time comes to register for WYD I find out am late and I have to contact Micheal!!!!!! Micheal and I have history, we drank wine together and have shared "moments" *won't go there*. Anyways Micheal after all we've been through did not know my REAL NAME!
So all my emails freaking out about registering me was ignored, so I freaked out on Teo, he called people and in moments, emails were sent and I was registered for WYD in Germany. I had to buy my plane tickets and all that cool stuff. Anyways, time comes we are all on the same flight to London (Teo and his group and I) We make it to London, I'm talking to all these boys who have heard stories about me, that I can't begin to phantom (thats my Teo, he has stories, stories, stories). Anyways we get to London, Micheal hands out tickets, we're at Waterloo. Everyone leaves for Belgium en route Germany, and I had to wait an extra 3 hours cos am special. The plan was Teo and the boys would settle in at the "meeting point" in Aachen, and he would come back for me.
Anyways, I arrive Aachen, Germany, at 7:00pm, *their train arrived at 5* I looked around the train station, no Teo, so I go to the cyber cafe close by, printed out the address of our destination, took a cab there, I arrived at the "meeting point" in less than 5 minutes, No Teo, No Group. I settle in, register and decided to go out to see what was going on, I sight the group making their way to the meeting point, and am welcoming them. Of course they were shocked, they walked, I cabbed. They didn't believe me, Teo started his own version of the story which he still tells today...His version basically is that my father sent an helicopter for me in London and it brought me to Aachen, Germany. Somehow people believe his version of what happened than my logical one.

And then leaving Germany again, no one cared about me:), so I managed to get a first class train ticket back to Belgium en route London, an hour after the guys left, we were going to meet for drinks in London. Anyways, somehow I ended up in Belgium, the group got delayed by two chickens that went to fuck! And Teo made up the flying with a broom stick story assisted by Clara, and somehow people believe that story as opposed to me being in the right place at the right time. Thats because Teo is a good story teller.

I remember last Christmas, I spent it with Teo, everyone else was in Nigeria, he had a lot of marking to do, and I was there to help and I remember we heard "Love Generation" by Bob Sinclaire together at that time no one knew it, but it became our "Jamaican goodbye song". YUP Teo named it

Teo was once a teacher! He taught at an all boys Catholic school for two years, and I hope all the children under his "tutelage" are safe and out of mental institutions of sorts..... Theo got a laptop for his birthday, that was the day the world came crashing on the poor kids, he learnt to edit songs! So for detention, he recorded 700 mb of Whitney Houston screaming: "and I". I can imagine listening to "AND I" expecting ..will always love you, and that not coming. And there were his comebacks, oh my goodness......Gotta love the man, his kids had a lot of good things to say about him though, I remember we went to a party in Montreal, and people just kept coming up to him and saying hello....OUCH! I felt old to say the least

And Theo has this scream thing that he does when he likes/hates something, its so sudden I call it S.O.S. - Sudden Outburst Syndrome, its the missing link between a scream, a moan and a cry for help! Its fabulous.
I remember the good days, before he left, he lived across the street from me, he'd call at 1 in the morning on thursdays, we'd both listen to the electronica mix on 100.7fm, and he'd send a shout out to me, we'd clean our rooms and go out for pho and rice, we don't do that anymore, because he is like streets away from me, but am sure by next year we'll schedule time to go out and eat and catch up. Am thankful for the Korean place on Yonge street, all you can eat raw meat and rice. He likes his rice

My friend Teo is one of the dearest people to me, I can't remember what life was without him and am not sure I can see life without him. Sure sometimes I get fill of him and just "avoid" him for weeks but now am waiting by my phone hoping that he'll call, I know I wouldn't call cos he would probably be sleeping or dancing pretending to be studying pretending to be busy, because that is what Teo does.