It sucks when reality hits you, you're mopping at the screen of your computer, biting your nails, playing with the food on your plate, doing something "not quite right" and your mind just wanders into hyper-existence, you know the land where sugar monkeys play with magical elves and akara balls made out of palm oil actually are hot and sweet not savoury and then out of no where in the midst of your hyper-existence, something hits you like a huge organic chemistry book and you're back to reality and everything suddenly makes sense!

I NO LONGER HAVE "IT". You know the zeal, the "ladida" to write, to construct meaningless words and turn them into stories, to tell what I have seen what I know, its like some higher power is punishing me for being a lazy bum and not writing when I had the chance and now I don't have it anymore.

I came to this realization after reading other peoples' blogs, they're some fantastic writers out there that would get me kicked out of university if am not careful cos all I do is follow their lives, their blogs, and read the replies from their "acquintances" who also have blogs and who also tell lovely tales of their lives, and I have absolutely nothing, I have lost the ability to take words and mix them in a bowl and make delicious reads out of them. I might have lost pun, humour, sarcasm and what have you! But if I have all those precious gifts, what exactly have I gained?
Is there a lesson to be learnt?

does anyone like know????

2 comments:

Naijadude said...

I totally understand your sentiment. But we wouldnt realise most gifts not until when we have the motivation to do so. The inspiration might be so overwhelming that when we bring out the gift* we wouldnt believe we could achieve such a task.
You dont need to push it most times, you just left it flow, let it go by, and do what you have the zeal to do. Its not how far you do it but how well, how effective you make your impact known.

Never knew I could write, trust me when I first started to know about blogs, I feel intimidated, I ask myself why am I in the University because people are writing so beautifully but I dont think I can. I wrote most of my first blogs under a pensive mood, they became so deep people are asking me if I am a "Psycology" student, with that I could let out of my shell.

Thanks so much for the love on my page eh! Is it ok if I bookmark you on my page? So I can frequent ur blog everytime, lovely to see a Torontonian/Nigerian blogging, fate might have it that I know you personally as well, not quiet sure but I so goddamn think so!! And I trust my instincts most times!!

Joel said...

Mamarita the Clown!!!!!!