On love and other flavorless water :)
Before I go on I would like to offer an electronic round of applause to all those men and women who have loved and lost, been burnt by love, been touched by the hands of everlasting love and for some reason or the other lost grasp of it; you are the reason we skeptics still long for love and pretend to fall in love at the end of every romantic novel society forces down our throats.
That being said, I am writing to my young lady who thought she had her heart broken after playing hard to get for a month, I laugh! Love, you don’t know what heart break is;
Heart break is when you wake up in the morning and feel the urge to kill yourself and just lie in bed for fear of facing reality
Heart break is when you drink water to quench your thirst and it feels like stones going down your throat and the only thing that feels remotely normal is the tears that continually flow down your eyes
It is what you feel that makes you tell your neighbor to go and die just because they uttered the kind words “good morning”
It is when you hear the name of the one you love been uttered and your chest tightens and you struggle to breathe and you can’t stand, you can’t sit, your head feels light, and blood seizes to flow through your body
It is the point in time, the only point in time, you contemplate standing at the balcony of the CN tower, pretending to “fly” because secretly you wish the wind would blow you away and you seize to exist.
Heartbreak is when your heart literarily stops beating, your five senses cross, and you start to hear your smell and see noise and feel the saltiness, taste the softness of cashmere on your skin and nothing makes sense to you.
The world seizes to exist and each day feels like a thousand years because your heart seizes to leave the past.
The young man who once loved but lost, and went through heart break, upon seeing the object of his affection after recovering through his heartbreak, does not walk slowly away from her like in the movies, or yell at the top of his voice the words SHE DEVIL, no, he held his wife tightly and introduces her to you, the one that left him for death. But he has moved on, he is happily married with a beautiful daughter, and well you never got around to that, and upon seeing how good a man he is you want to go back to him?!!! COME ON sista!!!
Just because he cared for you, begged you to stay and share his bed with other men just to be close to you, THEN, does not mean that you have wrapped around your middle finger, BE IT AS IT MAY, he may love you and love you forever, somewhere deep inside, he cares more for his life and his wife and beautiful daughter, he loves them more than life itself because he plunged back in and realized that love was a two way street, not just muffled up emotions, ending in ecstatic cries of pleasure, wet foreheads and candied apples.
He’s gone, so yes he is your friend, and he cares for your well being, but sista, don’t wear that short black dress to his house pretending to be in the area just because his wife is out of town visiting relatives, because you think you can have him back if you want. He’s gone, you are only wasting your time; he’s cried, denied, accepted and refused you in his life, and the thin line between love and hate is what still keeps him cordial, if you cross that line with your selfishness, HE WILL HATE YOU and yell SHE DEVIL and write profanities on your house and call your employer to tell them you are a call girl just to get you fired and no one would blame him.
When all that love turns to hatred, he will make it his life’s mission to see to it that you never find true happiness, lose all that he has just to make sure you never have a smile on your face; YES, he will pay men to stalk you, to stop you on the street and sign autographs of naked girls and tell you that you look ugly in person. And have weird people call you to yell at you and hang up and don’t try to change the number or move countries, if his love turns to hatred he will find you and be angrier that you are actually making him work.
Apologize and walk away, you may hurt him twice
COULD WE START AGAIN PLEASE!!!
Today started out as one of those days that I didn't want to get out of bed, the alarm went off and my subconscious tuned it out and out and out until it went off but my body remembered that I needed to work today so it went off sleep mode at a little after 8, usually at the sight of the number 8, I'd fly out of bed into a showers but somehow this morning, I just laid there dreading the fact that morning had come.
Somewhere, miles away from me, young men woke up hours before I, said good morning to their wives, readied their children for school, kissed their wife and vowed to see them after earning their daily breads. Some luckily fulfiled that vow and are now heading back home or are already back home with their spouses. Others....well, perhaps others did make it in the door but not to their seats, or maybe even they made it to their seats but by some misfortune, ended up in the hospital, for once I like that option better.
The month of October is lay off month in many companies and to be honest, in all of my working life, I've never seen a "corporate" firing, the only thing I can say about it is that it is PURELY HEARTLESS. Nothing left to say, and I've played it over and over in my head to understand the rationale behind this firing strategy and I keep coming up with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
You work in the door in the morning to meet your boss and his/her boss and their HR consultant rushing to meet you at the door to guide you into a conference room, only to be further humiliated with a stupid speech about structural changes and how you well...currently no longer have a job but have a month to work with somebody to get another job. Who's idea is this? And did they consider other alternatives? (i.e. hand a gun with one bullet or a sharp object to the person, lock them up in a room with a letter or better still do it via text or email from the HR department)
And the managers just walk around on D-Day like they are so confused and they are as shocked as anybody else, its like everything else in life, it is a choice you make, I think the huge cheques on some level cover those days when you have to let go of someone you're so fond of, don't make things worse by pacing around like you think you've done something bad. Rationalize and stand by your decision because let us face it, its the only thing you have!
I am so pissed today, I almost didn't do anything but I thought of all the lovely innocent people who are impacted by my work and decided to do something, but it is not for the establishment I'll tell you that much.
I think it is very hypocritical how people prance on the days they have to live out their evil decisions, I think that you have two choices, and people would be able to rationalize with you if you really believe you are doing the right thing. I mean think about all the times you've slapped your neighbour for stealing your candy, you didn't feel bad afterwards because you felt you had done the right thing. And I don't blame the folks who do the firing, am only saying, the moment you make up your mind to go through with letting someone go, before you do the deed, understand what you've just done, rationalize it, explain it to yourself and accept it. So when the day comes and you have to face it, you do it with the confidence it deserves, there is nothing worse than a jittery manager after getting rid of staff members that just tells me that I cannot trust you.
If you are being told to let go of me, I would at least like to know that you either fought to keep me or felt that it was the right thing you were doing, and if you want to look so good, refuse to do it! And if you have no choice at least let me know ahead of time so that I am prepared, all that distancing from staff members and attending pointless meetings and staying away from the office is just BOGUS!!!!
I'm happy for my job and I love what I do, but I don't think am working for the right people ON THE LARGE SCALE :(
*typed but not edited....*
In other news MATT DUSK's CD just dropped...HATTTNESS
A LITTLE BIT OF THIS/THAT
When I was younger, I used to be a very angry person, not any more, am a happier person now; although, every now and then I get the urge to be angry because lets face it am only human. This is to no person in particular but if I hurt you by what am about to say....TAKE IT TO GOD IN PRAYER!
Ladies, especially the so called "future fashion designers" please seat closer and read clearly this one is for you. We get that when you choose styles for your ankara fabrics they look nice on you, and every so often your friends copy your designs, (I'm happy for you) but each time they tell you that you are so good at picking designs you should be a fashion designer,
PLEASE....
BIKO....
IGNORE THEM. THEY ARE ONLY BEING FRIENDLY, THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.
I've noticed that every tom, dick and lagbaja and lakasugbe is now a designer o, we've seen it all, jumpsuit ankara, hammer pants ankara, a lined tube dresses with extra space for breast enhancers, patch print skirts, I could go on and on, but like Madonna once said "WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE". A fashion designer, goes over and beyond to suit their outfits to the bodies of their models, they innovate, they think AWAY from the box. Vera Wang designed a dress once, I saw it and at first on the rack I thought EWWW...but being a vera wang, I had to see it on someone and boy o boy....I still have not stopped talking about the dress. I can't describe but only one with a true sense of style and class could have done something like that.
So you have an idea, so you think you can innovate, perfect your art if you think its what you want, don't come up with some haphazard idea that has already been perfected mainstream and claim that because it's a different fabric you automatically are a designer and we must all pay $300 for it....No thank you!!!
And this is for all those people who have suddenly fallen prey to Jim Ballisle and co.'s brand of the hand held communication device the BLACKBERRY. I guess when they started they wanted every household to have one like the song "Every family's got one" and we applaud their effort but not everyone is ready for a blackberry, the way I don't think everyone should have a computer.
The facts are these:
- Research In Motion designed the handheld device to work with some form of internetwork, thats why when you don't have internet connection, your phone doesn't function properly
- The makers of the "blackberry" are CANADIAN (RIM is head officed in Waterloo, Ontario)
- With every smartphone, it is "suggested" that you backup your information every so often, so that if the phone happens to drop on the ground and break (oops) all you need is a USB or bluetooth to get all your information back
- The Blackberry is not a toy or a fashion statement, it is a telecommunication device!
Knowing this, if you decide to invest in a blackberry because everyone else is "investing" in one, and you don't have an internet plan on your phone and the battery falls out one day...guess what happens... YOUR INFORMATION IS WIPED OUT FOR GOOD
OR
Lets see here, a smart aleck decides that to fix your phone you must "hard reset" it (RESTORE FACTORY SETTINGS). Well as you might have guessed, all your information like magic DISAPPEARS... oh no, oh no...oh no
Now that we know this, lets ping each other, my BB pin is $%#@$^^@$ (as if)
And to those of you who have lost your information, I do sincerely apologize I hope you shall now use the Blackberry application that was given to you at the time of purchase of your blackberry.
Lastly. I know that the world was made so that all men can be equal and have access to the same things, but somewhere along the line, the makers of luxury products didn't get that memo, and believe you/me, I have forgiven them a long time ago....so why is it that all those previously PRESTIGE items have now become like pure water, M-Benz producing the B class, BMW with the 100 series, Lexus with IS series (its the car that comes in that awful yellow) and the list goes on, I understand that in a time of economic recession it is better to sell whatever you can but really? Next thing we'll know evey household will have a royce rolls and every other near millionaire will park a Maybach in their driveway....It doesn't please me in the least
And tell your brothers and sisters that think they can sing and dance, the next time I hear bad music on tv with Kenny's music backing, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE!!!! There will be blood, thats for sure
(This message was not sent from my BLACKBERRY!)
MY FELLOW SCRUPOULOUS NIGERIAN CANADIANS
The first time I heard about the NRC and their annual reunion event (in those days, the reunion was an actual reunion that happened in one state in the U.S. of A.) I dreamt of attending one, and then Atlanta started one too, and next thing I knew 4th of July was not longer "reunion weekend". And so I vowed that I would not attend of the reunions and would wait for all the "Nigerian American artists" to come to Toronto.
I started talking to my friends about having a reunion weekend in Toronto, and it was something that sounded like a great idea and then a group of young lads decided to carry this idea forward, and then we had our reunion in 2007. I was excited, I told everyone I knew that was Nigerian that a Nigerian Canadian reunion was happening, I didn't know any of the performers that were slated to dazzle us but I was still pretty hyped about the reunion. And then it happened, we arrived 2 hours late to Friday's event, the venue was almost empty but apparently the whole world was in the VIP area and then the entertainers started after the place got a bit fuller, and the entertainers started. Ikechukwu, Madarocka, Ash Thomas, Banky Wellington. Ok too much story, the punch line is this:
All the Nigerians in Canada that attended this event, just stood there STARRING!!! NO HYPE, NO FUSS, NO MOSS!!! NOTHINGGGG
Thats not all, it happened again, Blak jesus, Rukus and Blacko opened for eLDee and oLaDeLe in March, and what would you know, each time a performer got up to do their things my scrupulous Nigerian Canadians just stood at the back of the room, no hype, no dance no nothing...Even when the eLDee that everyone came out to see came on stage, people yelled, and then went back to their little corners...and didn't even give the other performers a chance....
They have called us stupid, called us illiterate, called us dry and boring yet everyone knows that Canadians have the most fun, so why is it fellow Nigerians in Canada that we cannot show our Canadian side? We are not snobs, we love to have fun and we have gidilounge (Yes it is Canadian, ask your brothers) Well the past is past we must focus on the present. M.I. Abaga, aka Mr Incredible is coming to town...mark your Calendars JUNE 12th and 13th...We all know M.I. (look him up on gidi or check out http://www.reverbnation.com/miabaga).
M.I. rocks, he is a wonderful artist, I've seen him in concert and he was fantastic TWICE and I know many of you are dying to see M.I. we don't think you're easy or silly just because you stand in front of him and sing along, it makes you cool if nothing else. And if you don't know the songs just learn the songs, and like totally sing along...It is all am asking.
Tuesdays with Mamarita
I hate that there is not enough information in the proper channels for Nigerian "celebrities", in the 21st century when the local herbalists have mobile phones and a websites, the least every known name could possibly do is hire a riff raff at an internet cafe, pay them 2000 and ask them to keep their online profile updated. This includes but not limited to;
-> paraphrasing what other people have on their sites
-> Doing research on the celebrity (if they cannot get their profile) through online forums, facebook patterns and wikipedia
-> Updating information available on the said celebrity on web forums
-> Making sure the celebrity is known on naijarules.com
Each time I attempt to find out more about somebody, the information I get sometimes angers me, for example, Adaure Achumba's profile on Silverbird television until VERY RECENTLY was a copy/paste of the profile blurb on her blog, now I am not saying that the information could not have been copied, I'm just saying well....clean it up a bit before posting it. Which brings us to information piracy, I once got in trouble for plagarism because I did not put quotation marks on a quote I paraphrased although I had the source's information in the bibliography. Well what that did was teach me to summarize and paraphrase better, and although this involves work, it takes a "specialist" to pick up on my advanced copy/paste skills (just saying).
Not that am picking on the Silverbird team o, but I found an error on Jide Alabi's profile, he is also a part of the STV team, and it says he was born in 1991! Which makes me question the fact that someone actually checks the site for correctness.... Like do they even have a web master (if they don't am in the market o....and am cheap cheap cheap!)
Did anyone go through the MOBO nominees profiles? Apparently D'Banj is still based in London (their words not mine) and he is still 24 years old...!!!!! I want to be 24 at 28 (Dear Santa, I hope you are listening!) They basically copied his profile from Wikipedia, didn't bother doing anything with it.
FACIAL PRODUCTS!
If you are like me and you have "issues" with your face, you'll find that everyone has a product that works like magic, whether it is acne, or impurities, or discoloration or just well skin irritation, someone just happens to have the "magic cure".
The one thing people forget is that sure the product you use works for you, but do we have the same problems? I don't use anything with sacrylic acid, infact the last time I had a pimple on my face, I took a towel, dipped it in hot water and cooked the sucker off my face, applied some tea tree oil and it was gone. Now the guy that asked me buy tea tree oil I thank.
Now, I've been told that the best advertisement is through word of mouth, and that is sooo true, but true also is the fact that different companies having realized the different needs faces have, have created different products to match those needs, and if your friends tell you to use and exfoliating scrub when pimples are making love to your face then you ought to ask them if they are ok, because scrubbing dead skins off your face does not take away the ripe pimply things on your face, it is almost like fertilizer to them boozooes.
Anyways, people should know their facial products before offering them to people
Accentuation
Now if you have heard me speak, I sound VERY NIGERIAN in my opinion, or maybe I pick my drop my "accent" whenever, but whatever! I cannot stand being in a very obvious Nigerian crowd with folks forging some kind of razz accent. In their heads it might sound different but folks, you are among your people, there's no need to twist your tongue, and speak through your nostrils, you're not Indian, its not attractive...no I take that back, it sorts of attracts my fist to facial structures. Gosh!!! I was out and about a few weeks ago and the accent situation was awful, terrible in fact, left, right and centre folks were just throwing shitty accents around, I was speechless and just decided to drown my frustrations in alcohol.
Why do we feel the need to impress? I don't get it
Tuesdays with Mamarita
It is that time of the year again, LENT, and this year I gave up something of a sexual nature,I of course will not discuss it, but let it be known that I am doing something this lenten season and I hope that those that gave up chocolates and bad talk are doing well so far.
That being said, SEX!
I was ironing when it came to me that we have completely lost it as a people when it comes to sex, now I am not of the belief that sex is meant just for procreation or that the world should be prudish when it comes to sex, but like everything else I believe that we as a people do not respect sex as much as we could and although the 60s and 70s tried to preach free love, we have stopped smoking marijuana and have stopped hating "the man", I think it is time we gave up the "free love" as well
On television and in movies these days, it seems to be the norm that teenagers (by that I mean kids under 17!) are having sex. Let us reference a movie that pops up in my mind Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist , the kids were still in High school and one of them already had a F.B. and knew that she was pre-orgasmic...REALLY! And two of the characters had sex the first time they met each other, call me prudish, but at 18 in my day, sex meant something more not just plain old fucking and I am sure I am not that OLD! Now let us not even refer to gossip girl , lets stick to the new 90210, in the old one, there was sex, but it wasn't that cheap, the new one on the other hand is PHEWWWW! Nuff said.
I am not saying people should have sex recreatively with as many people as they find fit, in fact, I say if you can, take a sex partner for every day of the year that would be 365 people for one year and then try to see if you remember anyone from January in May......BUT know what exactly it is that you are doing.
Each and every time you have sex, fuck or make love with/to somebody else, you share a bit of yourself with that person, now reverse that as it is a two way street, so as you are giving yourself to someone, you are becoming a teeny weeny bit of that person. Now let us analyze that a bit more, if I give a bit of myself to a stranger who for all I know could be a mass murderer, for all I know I am now a teeny weenzy bit a murderer and then if I keep going down that part sooner or later I'll loose myself and become a body of little pieces of somebodies....... And that is why although I encourage promiscuity, I also think people should understand what exactly it is that they are doing.
I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday that took me back to the discussion I had had with another friend two days before on the subject of homosexuality being synonymous to promiscuity, like SERIOUSLY!!!!! We found that people are of the opinion that being gay meant they are supposed to fuck anything that would take them, not so, homosexuality I believe was built on the foundation of love, on commitment to one person and one person alone. If you have not seen BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN although people argue that Jake Gyllenhall's character was loose, the lovers were "gay for each other" not any other men, and that is what I think homosexuality is about, and I am starting to hate promscious gays, stick to one partner and LOVE IT..... And if you must be promscious do it for a while only, there's nothing fun about taking in 3 random guys in one day....nope
I believe we should talk to our children earlier on about sex and when they have questions we should be quick to answer them the best way possible, I learned about sex from books and the internet, and I don't mean porn, just books that explain everything, the sort you'd find in the library. Oh I also have to credit three wonderful men in my life who have answered every single sex question I've ever posed, it helped me understand sex from different angles and I think I am a better person for that.
RANDOMNESS
I have heard that if you stay somewhere for too long you start to see what you shouldn't see, that is why I like to arrive late at parties and leave early. Now this same adage applies to everything else, if you eat too much, you'll eventually get to the bottom of the pot (which is the sweetest part of every meal by the way, but then you also have the burn or saltiness) and start get that heavy full feeling...yuck! If you smoke too much your mouth starts feeling funny, you get the gist.
So it is past 1 in the morning, I am tired and wornout but I feel like I must finish ironing these clothes, (somedays I just want to throw out the clothes...just saying) So I am taking a break, flipping channels, and then I found it, Rupaul's Drag race on television, if you stay awake long enough you start to catch things you shouldn't be seeing
Rupaul is a "drag" icon, he makes a very handsome man if you ask me, but then she dresses the drag part well too, you probably would not know she was a he, nah...I lie, the hair's always big, the make up EXTRA and he sounds like a man when she's dressed as a woman. So the drag race Rupaul has is like your other celebrity shows the search for the new "drag" phenomenon, sort of like America's next top model meet runway with men. A drag queen is not just an entertainer....she creates her own frock (costume), tries to look the part and of course, knows how to entertain (lip synching is an art, I can tell you that)
So this episode that I just finished, the remaining four contestants had to "vogue", then they had to create an outfit using real fruits, and then they did something else I missed and during "judgement" (or whatever it is they do when they all gather around and be judged) the challenge was to dress up as a business woman and they all did an excellent job...Then they had to do their frock thing and then they did a team performance which was what caught my attention.
Two of the queens decided to perform Mary Mary's SHACKLES.... I am sorry to be stereotypical, but the song is not a "regular" what happened to Studio 54's if you could read my mind, or Gloria Gaynor, or something more upbeat, I don't know I just felt weird about the whole thing after watching the performance and to top it off, one of the contestants upon completing such a "righteous" song, lifted his dress and shook his ass or was it ass clapping that he did with his thonged ass...
In other news, I just started reading THE ALCHEMIST by Paul Coelho, the man is a gifted writer and the book has spoken to people over the years to follow their dreams to climb every mountain to do what they want and to seek their future. We should never have to apologise for who we are, for being intelligent, to chase things we want, because if we don't do it, the universe doesn't stop and weep for us you know. I guess it is all about choice and selfishness and every now and then we should take time to do what makes us happy. I know what makes me happy I have just never really accepted it, but now I'm embracing what makes me happy.....and I say "watch this space" :)
These days people seem to be discussing relationships and cheating partners and I look at people with cheating partners and a lot goes on in my head, what do you do when your partner is cheating on you and you know it. Sure you think of everything else but what is it that makes people stay knowing that their partner has defiled the basic rules of monogamy? Do you in return re-write the rules to accomodate them, throw caution to the wind leave and start not knowing what you will meet where you are going (the devil you know.......) or do you seek a counsellor's help and pray the rosary daily amongst other prayers hoping that they'll change and the spirit of promiscuity would leave them? I don't know I question these things all the time.
And why do we always ask "why"? Sometimes people don't have a reason for doing these things they just do them in a moment of weakness and utter stupidity, I have never woken up and decided to make someone's life miserable...NO I LIE, I've woken up and thought of ways to frustrate the life out of somebody and just when they are about to give up on life show up with a knife on the balcony of the 40th floor of a building, if you must die you need options but am a new person now.. Anyways, I don't understand cheaters, I obviously never want to be one or be on the other side I just wonder what it feels like sometimes you know and having given up lies and deceit, I will never know.....Oh well. Time to get back to ironing.
And does anyone else look at married couples on their wedding day and try to determine if it is true love or just the idea of being married that has gotten them to that moment? Some folks you can tell are getting married because of the ring and the whole ceremony that follows the ring ceremony, and some just get caught in the moment, and each time I see a couple on their wedding day I can't help but try to place them in a category....HAPPILY MARRIED or HAPPY TO BE MARRIED...
