Tuesdays with Mamarita

   I know I had said I was trying out the writing thing again, but I'll be honest, I found other avenues to relief my stress that writing just doesn't seem to work as well as it did a while back; that and the fact that as I get older I have less of a need to rant and more of a need to just move ahead and leave foolishness to what it is.

   I should talk about walking for a minute, many times when I'm walking, if anyone ever notices, I have a destination in mind and I often walk with purpose, when I feel the need to stop and lurk, I literarily "park" myself on the corner, re-group and get back on the road. This isn't unique to my daily life, when I'm on vacation, I walk briskly doesn't matter if I'm heading home or to a site I walk with purpose. I read somewhere that it is the only way to move forward.

  So you can imagine how much I HATE vacationers who just stand around in the middle of the road aimlessly, or decide to take up the whole sidewalk to gaze at the dead grass, speak a foreign language and just drag themselves across the city like that has decided to stop because they flew across oceans!!! Particularly those who carry out this aimless walking activity in the financial district where those of us not "lucky" enough to be on vacation have to "govern our time", move across buildings to attend meetings, it's hard enough that on average days the financial district is busy, adding vacationers to the mix just makes me want to SCREAM. And this is why I wear unpractical shoes around, if I'm not able to walk fast, I don't bother about vacationers.

  Can I take a moment to talk about my two year plan to help my friend land a very pretty lady we met at the bar? So we were there to hear him skulk about how he couldn't land this girl he'd been "working" for months, and the waitress was really cute and somehow she got into our conversation and was chiming in every now and then, but then she dropped the fact that she had a boyfriend and I really thought my friend should be with her, the plan was simple.....

My friend was to continue talking about the girl "his intended", ask the waitress (we'll call her Ally) for suggestions on how to get with her, and ensure that the night ends with him ("Bob") telling Ally he'd come back to thank her if her plan works. Obviously a month later Bob'll come back to thank Ally for her help, come up with some outrageous story of how her advice worked and now the intended is his girlfriend. They'll get to talking and now he's "safe" enough for her contact information.

 From this point on, they'll remain "friends", he'll message occasionally for a "Female" perspective, play the "I want to be the perfect boyfriend" card, we all know how old relationships get stale and she'll slowly find herself wanting to spend more time with Bob, and Bob will overtime try to start playing his "girlfriend" as a total bitch but still say he loves her and shit.

A year later, little bitch dumps Bob, he cuts Ally off, she feels terrible, goes to him drunk to tell him he's an asshole, they make out and BAM! End of conversation

ALTERNATIVELY, Ally's sexuality might be of the "alternative" sort and she'd keep Bob in the friend closet for life :) But my plan was worth a try.

Next time, I think I want to share my perspective on how to force people to like you :)

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