ROAD RAGE AND THING..


Some people need their legs shot at, no, they need their legs broken, they need someone to give them a good old beating and teach them the rules of pedestrianism. These awful people take their stupid walking habits behind the road and that is what gets me even angrier, sure we can avert danger by foot, hiss and bump into the fool as you pass them, but who wants to scratch their cars?

I hate downtown this time of year, every Chris, Tom and Laura's taking a walk with their brains in the fridge of their houses. So I'm walking, I'm almost late for appointments, had to pick up drugs, pick up cards, cash money and head to my "beautician". I gave myself just enough time to get to the pharmacy smile at the counter lady, call the dr and BS my way into prescription for the King and Queen, but out of no where this fetuses just like crowded the road, they were probably on their grade 11 religion retreat (the one where they go to that run-down church and talk to the former gigolo). And they're walking with some biker guy, and they take over the whole fucking route, like what the fuck, taking tiny baby steps, you see me with my shades, no smiles no earrings, am behind you almost exhaling for you and it doesn't make sense for you to path with your friends? I was so angry, I almost ran into a car escaping the idiots, I couldn't bring myself to say excuse me anymore.
And then there are the stupid jumpers, I get that sometimes you exit a store right in the middle of traffic, if you were on the highway, you'd automatically drive to the speed of the other cars, so why is it that on the pedestrian route, people merge and then slow down, like seriously, if you're doing the walking thing for leisure, buy someone to wheel you around and practice walking in the comfort of your living room.
And don't get me into those that walk five minutes, run into their friends and rather than "parking" their legs to the side to gist, stop in the middle of pedestrian traffic to gist. May God gimme strength.


That being said....My friend Kat and I as with many of my close friends have an understanding as to how our friendship works, to remain close friends we must separate ourselves from each other, and return and separate and return. And that has always worked for Kat and I, in fact these days I only see her in the summer, apparently in the winter the 4'11 lady, tries to stay underground to hibernate.
I hardly see Kat, we are still cool, and if I were to be in Toronto all week next week I might not see Kat till mid June, so why is it that Kat decides to want to hang out with me before I leave for Kenya tomorrow. Why Kat why? I'm not mad or nothing its just wel,l my dad is asking me to come to Nigeria after we're done in Kenya and I haven't been in a long ass while and I haven't gone partly because I'm afraid that once I go I won't be allowed to leave, and although Nigeria is home and everything tastes better there especially party rice.... UHMMMMMM, I'm not ready to go live there, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever live there again. I can't say I grew up there, or know my way around and if there's anything I hate more than being dependent on people, it's people telling other people that I depend on them. I just want to pull my hair out.

So darling Kat, my little bitch *thats right Sundae she's my bitch not yours but mine* I'm gone a fucking week, maybe 2 at the most, but I'm insecure about going already and you're just adding to my fear and wanting to spend the last night before I leave, where were you when I was leaving for Germany, you didn't say goodbye then, and where were you all those times I'd gone to "places"? I'll be back and we'll watch "the movie" and play but if I get one more message with a sappy goodbye.......I'm buying a BMW STATIONWAGON!
muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

4 comments:

laspapi said...

hehe, you do have your quirky traits. You've been busy, mamarita. I like this. Aren't you going to send in your submissions for the naija bloggers anthology? 5 of your works. 3 will be chosen. Send to nigerianbloggers@yahoo.com

Pink-satin said...

u sound very pissed in this post

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Spook E said...

did you fall off the face of the planet?

I can't be tralala without mamarita!