The songs are in your eyes, I see them when you smile


I met him some two odd years ago and he touched me for a brief while, obviously like everything else. he had a cute smile, nice blue-green eyes, sure they weren't one blue one green but they were unique, I loved to look in his eyes I usually saw myself in them and it made the world alright even if just for a moment. But we could never be, for a million reasons and then for none and eventually, we stopped communicating and I remember him now because am playing MIRACLE DRUG by U2.

I want a trip inside your head
Spend the day there...
To hear the things you haven't said
And see what you might see

I want to hear you when you call
Do you feel anything at all?
I want to see your thoughts take shape
And walk right out

Freedom has a scent
Like the top of a new born baby's head

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I've seen enough I'm not giving up
On a miracle drug

Of science and the human heart
There is no limit
There is no failure here sweetheart
Just when you quit...

I am you and you are mine
Love makes no sense of space
And time...will disappear
Love and logic keep us clear
Reason is on our side, love...

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I've had enough of romantic love
I'd give it up, yeah, I'd give it up
For a miracle, a miracle drug, a miracle drug

God I need your help tonight

Beneath the noise
Below the din
I hear your voice
It's whispering
In science and in medicine
"I was a stranger
You took me in"

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I've had enough of romantic love
I'd give it up, yeah, I'd give it up
For a miracle, miracle drug

Although we no longer speak, we still have the times we spent together, the wine tasting, brain plucking, and all the other weird sessions, thank you for the music, the song am remembering.


I remember the first time I made a grown man cry, I did not mean to, and honestly I feel it was not my fault that the man was crying, he cried because he had too many tears in his eyes, I met T summer of 2005 shortly before my trip to WYD for my spiritual cleansing, my theme was to "find God in little things" especially after the year I'd been through. *GOD is great and EVERYWHERE!* Anyhow, so there I was at the bubble tea shop, I was just leaving, when I ran into this man, not too bad looking, but definitely not my "type" *See at that time I was off black men completely*


Me being my usual self I like to make peope uncomfortable when they stare at me for too long, so I did the natural thing, smiled as I looked away....*invitation to treat* Next thing I know someone is saying hello and am saying hey back and am not one of those people that just ignores people when I know they're obviously talking to me, I talk back as I walk. Obviously he followed me, I kept walking up on wellesley and yonge, I was doing my last minute shopping....Sha short story he followed me till I hit close to yonge and bloor and to blow him off we had vietnamese food and exchanged numbers.... *I never feel unsafe around my Nigerian people as long as am in public*
And that was how it started o, lunch was pleasant and decent but running to the conclusion that we're meant to be when you're not even sure if am all woman is just crazy and cause for alarm, and me being the nice person now told T that I wasn't ready just yet for a relationship, but apparently I was fronting. I suck at breaking up with people, the only technique that I know is to cut them off and change my phone number, harsh but am lazy like that, all that good bye speech is too much wahala. But T was persistent and people have said that I'm stubborn, so well he said he knew I was the one for him and I said I didn't feel that way in my heart and I'd gladly be his friend. T said NO! I want a LOVER! And I said NO! I'M NOT YOUR LOVER!
For me that was the end of our friendship, so I stopped picking his calls. And trust me this man invented stalker runs, I had to give him a special ring tone of SILENT! And of course there was the private numbers and strange looking numbers which I never picked up anyone cos I knew who it definitely had to be and if it were to be anyone else, they'd leave me a message.
Finally my "good friends" society told me I had to do the face-to-face thing, *all this happened within a one month period o!*, so I called T, lets meet up, Eaton Centre, LOTS OF PEOPLE! So we met up and I told him that I was sorry but he was too pushy and I was not fronting but I just wasn't feeling him and I know I should not have smiled when I did or had lunch with him when I did *my mum did tell me not to talk to strangers but she didn't say not to eat food if they were paying for it in a public place.....*
But I just ddin't feel he was the one, and I didn't want a boyfriend I was going to have European adventures with European men who spoke French and German or other weird languages and the only one word we'd all understand together would be YES and having a boyfriend would stop me from having fun. And then T said he didn't care that I should have fun and he wouldn't feel bad. How else do you break up with a person who you haven't started dating o?! So me, I said the conversation was over and we obviously couldn't stay friends, next thing o, I said my goodbyes and all I heard was *sob*sob*. Uncle ki lo de?
"You are breaking my heart, I love you more than I've loved anyone"
This was not funny o, I can't be seen at Eaton Centre with a crying man, firstly because thats where I run into all my friends/associates/and weird strangers that share a smile with me and I'd just look bad, and secondly I don't do well with crying people, when I hear children cry I walk away from them, for grown ups, I walk away, and call my sister to deal with the issue.
Well obviously T didn't know me well enough to know that crying just made me angry, and although I thought it was cute that he was not ashamed to cry I saw him like a little brother that was well 6 years my senior.
We didn't make out or hug or end up together, I did get my car and drove him home and told him a few things about myself. HE NEVER CALLED BACK!!!!!!!!! And I had Germany.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was an enjoyable post -- was the first part about a certain beautiful boy from Montreal??

Mamarita said...

Overwhelmed......Its like you're my sister from another mother, I'd have said the same thing "like seriously i know i'm all that.. but cry for me" too identical, you might soon have to start paying me because we think alike....tahahahahaha


JOANN!!!! missed "chasing daylight" lots.

Naijadude said...

Isnt it depressing to cry for someone. Makes me feel guilty, why cant people just take "No" as no and not personal but sometimes you cant help love!!!

Jennifer A. said...

lollll...can u imagine?

Unknown said...

LOL A grown man crying cos you refused to reciprocate his undying love? Good Riddance Love!!! Am just curious about what you told him about urself in that car!!!

Mamarita said...

Jaycee! Oh my goodness, how are you. Your friend Yawa was just telling me that you guys still do your early morning ritual! WOW....Thats wild.

Naijadude: That is not disgusting, it is sick! psh..I can't stand tears.

Calabargal: If I tell you about myself, I'd have to well...erase your memory or kill you or pluck out your eyes and cut off your tongue:)