Thank You For Smoking

(The movie is definitely a must see)

I was listening to a song by Infinity, I think its “Jesus Knows” or so, one of the lines mentioned something about smoking then licking tom tom before going to church so no one knows. I don’t know, (quite frankly I don't care)if they were implying that smoking is wrong from a Christain perspective, but that is my assumption.

From a health perspective, smoking kills those around you and makes you wish you were dead, you know the way a drug peddler watches all of his/her clients get addicted to narcotics and watches many of them overdose on the stuff, or the way a drunk driver gets into an accident and kills all of his/her friends but is still alive, yeah in that way smoking kills, and is wrong. Then again, you eat fresh vegetables everyday and die of frail bones but you get the main gist. Health = good, therefore cigs = bad.

From a religious perspective, I don’t remember the bible mentioning anything about tobacco being bad. But Jesus summarized the 10 commandments to love your neighbours as yourself, if you wake up at 2 in the morning, put on your jacket and step out to the balcony in the middle of winter to smoke, I say there is no greater love for those around you than that.

We can argue that smokers indulge in cigarettes and indulging is wrong, that would mean being Obese is a sin! Lets analyse:

* Fact: Smokers smoke because they can, and cheesy nachos taste great and you indulge in them because you can, only to complain about belly bulge (raises brow indecently)
* Fact: Many smokers do it to relieve stress, its been a long day at work, your subordinates are irritants, your boss was on your case the whole day, only to get home to your boyfriend continuing a fight that you don’t even remember, who do you turn to…That’s right, Uncles Ben and Jerry and they help don’t they….
*Fact: Smoking shrinks your lungs and you are prone to lung cancer and other complications, the perfect poutine is made of French fries, and chunks of cheese melted by thick gravy, tastes great, but all that “cheesy chunks” finds its way to your arteries and clogs it, and this causes…a heart Attack! BOOM!

I guess from a religious point, if smoking is bad then it’s a sin and it displeases God then enjoying fatty foods is bad and it’s a sin and it displeases God and my question is, wasn’t the foods created to be eaten like cigarettes to be smoked?

From a “moral” point of view, it can be said that smoking is bad because people become dependent on cigarettes, I know of people who can’t sleep 6 hours straight, nope their body needs nicotine when it should be resting, waking them up just to smoke. I know I screamed as well when I heard but from that unique view, smoking is bad because of its addictive nature.


From a hygienic perspective, the smell of cigarettes smoke in posh dining institutions is fantastic, something about it excites me. Now smokers that don’t like to take showers are a menace to society, think about it, the stale smell of cheap cigarettes masked by a fresh whiff of cigarette smoke… Not very flattering. I remember I had this teacher in high school I hated him explaining stuff to me, he smelled like what spoilt cigarettes should smell like if farted :) He smoked a lot and wore the same sweater as he smoked at school and he never took the sweater home to clean it, am sure you get the picture, except he didn’t stop there, he also loved his black coffee, now imagine 3 cigarettes and two cups of thick black coffee have been consumed, the “consumer” decides not to open his mouth for three hours, and then he does, “very offensive” if you ask for my opinion!

I guess what am trying to say is smoking is a choice thing and churches, mosques and other places of worship shouldn’t look down on good people because they like their cigs, now if those people were fishes we might have problems with indency and betty ford clinics, but that is not the case :)


(Just in case: Daddy, I don’t smoke, just so you know……..)